Thankful Thursday

Well I can't quite say this week has been easy, but it's certainly been easier than last week.  My grandmother's funeral service was Saturday and it was very nice.  (Does anybody ever say anything else about funerals?  What are you supposed to say, exactly?)  Truly, though, it was a wonderful tribute to her and a nice good-bye in her honor.  

The time we spent with family afterward was precious and greatly needed.  Having a 2 year old, a 14 month old, and an 11 month old around leaves very little time for wallowing.

As the minister said during the service, grief is a process.  Today, I woke up and had a split second of "oh, I need to call her and check-in."  Then I remembered.  Those moments are tough.  But, thankfully, they are abated by a shared story, a photograph, or a sweet memory.  And again, just when I start feeling down, I have the cutest little someone pulling on my leg that brings me back to the present. 

Here is this week's list:

1.  Having a biggest fan.  Audrey has become very clingy lately.  We went through this stage several months back, but it seems to have reappeared in the last few weeks.  It's not stranger anxiety as it was then...now it's separation anxiety.   If we're in a room and I walk out, she has a major meltdown.  It doesn't happen all day, but does seem to happen during certain periods of the day.  And if I leave her with a grandparent while I go out, she's fine.  It can be frustrating at times, because I truly can't get much done while she's awake.  But, I know it's short-lived.  There will come a day where she won't want me in the same room with her.  So, for now, I'm trying to take it as a major compliment and learn how to help her cope.  

2.  The library.   All those books, all that knowledge...for free!  (Okay, minus your tax money.)

3.  Pedicures.   My mom came out yesterday and kept Audrey while I ran a few errands and then got a pedicure.  I'm pretty sure if I were rich, the first person I'd hire would be someone to rub my feet.  Or maybe it would be a chef.  Then a trainer.  But a masseuse would probably be third.  I shouldn't stress out too much about the order...it's not like it's a possibility.  Child-rearing and blog-writing doesn't exactly rake in the dough.  Unless you're Kate Gosselin or this lady, which I'm not.  And I couldn't be happier about the former.  Moving on:

4.  Summer rain showers.  I love afternoon thunderstorms in the summer.  Now if only I could find a way to squeeze in a nap during them.

5.  Cheese and crackers.  I've gotten in the habit of having a little afternoon snack after I put Audrey down for her nap.  This combo has been my choice lately, along with a small glass of her apple juice.  It makes me feel four years old.  I like it.

Enjoy your weekend!

Thankful...Friday

I didn't forget you.  I promise.  It's just that I remembered at 11:00pm last night and was way too tired.  This week has been very long, but, thankfully, very fast.  I've been busy planning a first birthday, making funeral arrangements, hosting a get-together, and, somewhere in the back of my mind, trying to begin planning for an upcoming trip.  Frankly, I've felt quite bi-polar at times.  How could you not when one minute you're creating a funeral program and the next you're making a caterpillar birthday banner?  Really.

But, it's been good.  It reminds me that life goes on.  When I'm in the middle of dwelling on our loss, a thought will pop in my head that I need to order balloons.  And I'm pretty sure you cannot be sad while ordering balloons. 

So, for the ups and downs, I'm thankful.  For the health we've had in the middle of all this, I'm thankful (pray it continues!)  For the offers to help and the prayers that have been lifted up, I'm thankful.  For peach milkshakes with my Dad, I'm thankful.  For ministers who care enough to give out their cell phone numbers, I'm thankful.  For family - those that have gone ahead, those that are carrying on, and the little one that is here pulling on my legs and keeping me in the moment - I'm thankful.