Audrey's 13th Birthday & a farewell note

And just like that, we’re here: The one who made me a mother turns 13 today. We are officially in the teenage years!

OH this girl. She is hilarious, crazy smart, genuinely kind, and stronger than she knows. She can sing, rock climb, has a brain for both words and numbers, and loves her family and friends something fierce. She has taught me more about life and love than I ever thought possible and I don’t imagine the lessons are going to stop anytime soon. One in particular has been on my mind this week:

I recall several years ago when we had an older couple speak to our small group about parenting. Afterward, the mom and I had a chance to chat privately for a few minutes. I asked how she thought I should handle situations where I noticed my own personality weaknesses and faults rearing their ugly heads in Audrey. I explained how challenging it was for me not to attempt to fix those things. She responded, “But you wouldn’t want to rob her of the lessons you learned to get to this point, would you? Of the things Jesus taught you and how He used it to shape who you have become?”

I knew she wanted to hear “No, of course not!”, so that’s what I said. But that wasn’t the truth. OF COURSE I DID. I want to spare her the pain I have both endured and inflicted, the times I took crap when I shouldn’t have, the times I spoke when I should have kept quiet, the times I left important words unspoken. Of course I want to spare Audrey every bit of all of that. And Luke too! What good mother wouldn’t?!

But what I didn’t fully realize until semi-recently was that regardless of whether or not I want to, I can’t. Not really. Not and raise the kind of woman that I want her to be…that God wants her to be. My role at this point in her life is to be a coach and a cheerleader, a shoulder and a shelter. But I cannot be her Savior. And therein lies one of the many, many hard parts of this parenting gig.

So I keep trying to point her to Him (failing often), pray, and listen. (I cannot emphasize enough how important the biting of the tongue is these days.) I don’t know what the next 5-7 years hold for her and I’ve been a parent just long enough to know better than to guess. But I am so very excited to have a front row seat for what God has in store for her.

She is an absolute wonder, this one. And I am honored and eternally grateful to be her mama.

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A letter to my girl on her 13th birthday:

Dear Audrey, Welp, we made it. We’re officially here: the teenager years. Best of luck from here, kid. I’m out. (Just kidding.) I’ve been thinking for quite a while about what I wanted to write you on, lo, this monumental day. Usually words aren’t too hard to come by for you or me, but this milestone seems extra challenging. Maybe it’s because I’m still not quite sure how we got to this point so very quickly. How did you go from the little baby I loved to dress up to the brilliant four year old working through reading lessons with me while Luke napped to the fearless ten year old rock climber to the award-winning writer, straight-A student, beautiful, hilarious, strong, Jesus-loving teenager that you are today all in just a split second?! It just doesn’t seem possible…and yet here we are. And I’m so excited. I’m a little sad too, of course, because I’m getting old and sappy. But I’m really excited, Audrey. Because each stage of parenting thus far has brought Daddy and I such joy. You constantly amaze us at who you are becoming and what you can accomplish with God’s grace and your grit. You have so many talents in so many areas and it blows our minds to think of what the next 5-7 years will bring! Oh, are we in for a treat! So let’s go do this teenage thing. I imagine it’s going to take some work, a lot of grace, and a good sense of humor. I pray we get to walk out the other side of this next season as close friends with a whole lot of wonderful adventures and sweet memories under our belts. No matter what lies ahead, you can be certain of two things: 1) Jesus loves you more than His life itself and 2) Daddy, Luke, and I are in your corner. We may be cheering you on embarrassingly loudly, but it’s only because we couldn’t be more proud. Happy 13th Birthday, Sugar. You are the light of my life and I love you more than you will ever know. Love, Mama xoxoxo

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And with this monumental milestone behind us, I've decided it's time to shut down this blog. Fitting timing to do so on this post, given Audrey was really the catalyst for beginning it.  My oh my how our lives have changed and become SO very full in these last 13 years!  

Since then, these stories have become more of the kids' own and less of mine to share without their permission or at least their points of view interjected for balance.  

Our lives will only be this beautifully intertwined with theirs for another blink of an eye and I don't want to fracture that relationship with oversharing.  Nor, frankly, do I want to spend the time this blog requires when there is just so much else to be done.

So, to my three favorites, I leave you with this:  I apologize for the times I shared too much as well as the times I didn't share enough about our adventures.  Please read my words with mercy and leniency, knowing that I truly was only ever confident of these three things:  1) Jesus is who He says He was.  2) He loves us more than we know or deserve. 3) Being a wife/mother to you three is the greatest joy of my life and I will never stop striving to live up to the honor. I have fallen short many times (and no doubt will many more!) but I pray God's grace fills in the gaps.  

Thank you for everything.  My cup runneth over.  I love you, I love you, I love you.  

January - June 2022 Social Media Posts

January 6, 2022

Still recovering from this no-fever but crummy bug (False-negative Covid? Light flu? Alien invasion disrupting the atmospheric pressure? Who knows?! NOT ME!) It really hasn’t had us feeling terrible, but it has been isolating and incredibly S-L-O-W.

I came up with a daily “Challenge, Chore, Cheer (fun thing)” for each of the kids in an attempt to boost our spirits and pass the time. These are two of my favorites of late: Audrey’s challenge was to bake a cake, but it had to have a twist that she’d never before attempted. Luke’s challenge was to set up a domino chain that was at least partially underwater. See what he did there?! I laughed myself into a good coughing fit over that one. Worth it.

Get/stay well, friends!

January 18, 2022

About 15 years ago when I was a very young newlywed, a women’s ministry leader was talking about hospitality and serving others. She said something to the effect of “you wouldn’t dare give Jesus a store-bought pie, would you?! Well, whatever you do for the least of these, you’re doing for Jesus, so you shouldn’t give them less than your absolute best, either!”

Setting aside erroneous stereotyping of women's roles for now, I guess I can sort of see where she was broadly coming from if I squint hard enough. But as someone that wrestles with perfectionism, this concept MESSED ME UP. For quite a long time. I spent years vacillating between not serving others at all or doing so at the expense of my family, health, or other worthy priorities. Rarely did I ever feel like I was getting it right.

But over time, the Lord has patiently shown me what HIS expectations and desires are for my acts of service. Some by way of friends who do it well, a lot through having kids and getting more life experience under my belt. His promptings shift based on circumstances and vary in time and expense, and I still don't get it right every time, but it ALWAYS has the same core purpose: His glory. “Let your light shine before others in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

SO, I’m cheering for you and spurring you on today, friends! Not towards perfectionism and not towards personal gain. Not at the expense of sacrificing your family or your sanity. Just simply, how can you shine a little light into someone’s darkness and, in doing so, point them to God?

Send a text of encouragement? Offer a listening ear? Mail a gift card? Drop off flowers…or perhaps a store-bought pie?!

I personally have no doubt Jesus would love a slice. Especially if it meant I would sit down and let Him help me sort through more of what He *actually* said and meant.

February 9, 2022

Annual Project Linus event at RES. Kids learning they can make an impact even at their age, watching the empathy lightbulbs go off, and seeing them connect service with fun is THE ABSOLUTE BEST. (Also, one sweet buddy insisting on giving me $1 for all of my hard work… And don’t worry, I cleared it up with his mom! )

Thank you to everyone who made this possible. Because of you taking the time to volunteer and these students’ efforts, pediatric patients at CHOA will receive a gesture of care and comfort at a time they truly need it. THANK YOU!

February 12, 2022

Dinner and a show. (Or rather, a show then dinner because we are old and want to be home by 8pm.) 22 Valentine’s Days together and he’s still my favorite.

February 21, 2022

This past weekend we got to take our NYC trip that was originally scheduled for Christmas break. While we missed the holiday spirit and festive decorations, I know the crowds were a fraction of what they would’ve been then.

We covered a lot of ground in a little over three days. Even with constant subway rides and a few taxi trips, we walked a total of 34 miles!

I so enjoy traveling with the kids at these ages. I loved getting to teach them some street smarts (thank you, Georgia State) and experience new things together.

It was everything I remembered about my last trip to New York sixteen years ago: gritty and glamorous and exhausting and exhilarating. It was the lady rudely arguing about her place in line. It was the kind museum worker who came out and poured my self-serve coffee for me because she saw that I had my hands full. It was the smelly subway and the honking horns. It was the Uber driver who proudly told us all about his two year old son in his thick NY accent. It was the heartbreak of the 9/11 Memorial. It was the excitement of our first Broadway show. It was standing in St. Patrick’s cathedral listening to prayers and feeling the undeniable presence of God. It was making eye contact with a homeless person and feeling the undeniable fragility of humanity. It was all of that plus snow flurries and Empire views and cheesecake. It was quintessential NYC.

The kids saw a lot of the real world the last few days. Some we agreed with, some we didn’t. But every bit of it was an opportunity for conversations about what we believe, why we believe it, and leading with love. They walked away with a little more maturity, a little more grit, and a little more confidence. And I walked away with renewed appreciation for them, for adventures together in an ever-shrinking season, and, as always, for home.

February 22, 2022

Today on Tuesday, 2-22-2022, our Luke turns two digits. My baby is a decade old!

I have looked through dozens of photos trying to find ones that fit this special day, and, oddly, this is the one I landed on. (Rest assured I’ll probably fill your feed with fat-cheek baby ones later. Lawdy, he was an adorable chunk!) But this picture just epitomizes him so well.

It was at a recent basketball game where he was taking his turn on the “bench.” Except that instead of sitting, he ran alongside the court, cheering on his teammates. He felt every swish and every missed shot as if it were his own.

He’s a natural athlete, an excellent student, and never seems to run out of energy. He has impeccable comedic timing and is always up for a party.

Don’t get me wrong…he isn’t perfect. He can still put on a pouting session that rivals his toddler years. He sometimes likes to play the helpless baby of the family, especially when it comes to doing laundry. He talks too much and argues with me more than I have the energy to withstand some days.

But oh, does he have a heart of gold. When I asked him to hold my gloves for a minute in NYC, he put his own handwarmers in them to keep them hot. When Audrey wants to borrow a Braves shirt, he’ll pull out every Braves item he owns for her to choose from. If he has delicious food on his plate, he will not rest until you have also taken a bite of it. He worries about classmates and remembers new baby’s names and birth weights and tears up when someone gets a standing ovation at a performance.

He hates disloyalty and injustice to his core. He stands up for friends in a way that I know is going to land him in the principal’s office or a jail cell one day. Because he’s not just your buddy, he’s your ride or die. There is no one you’d rather have in your corner than this kid.

Happy 10th Birthday, Lukey. You are smart, brave, hilarious, fun, and generous to a fault and we could not be more proud of or grateful for you. I pray all of God’s best for all of your life.

April 10, 2022

After we got home from Lula Lake/Chattanooga last Sunday, David had to head out of town for work for the week. We packed it full of fun, though: we studied constellations and gemstones at the Tellus Museum with Nana, learned a new game and ate delicious food at Grandpa and Grandma’s, and made crafts and desserts at Grandmom and Grandad’s. We hung out with friends, shopped, hit the library, etc. We also did a mini makeover in Luke’s room, a surprise office refresh for David, and a LOT of yard work.

It’s been awesome, but maybe also a teensy bit tiring. I wasn’t feeling quite ready for the sprint to the school year finish line that I know begins tomorrow…but then I came across this note from the kids. A reminder of both why I do it and to do better at expressing gratitude myself.

Buckle up, teachers and parents, and let’s finish strong!

April 11, 2022

Funny quotes from Luke lately:

- Me: “We could get you a fake mustache for Oregon Trail day!” L: “Nah. I’ll just grow one.”

- “You know a math problem is going to be hard when it starts off with so-and-so buying some potatoes.”

- After I told him something…”Well that’s what Audrey said too, but she’s not ALWAYS right. Statistically she can’t be.”

April 14, 2022

My girl wrapping up a 12 hour day at school. It began with FCA and ended with multiple chorus performances for Celebrate North (with a whole lot of untold middle school emotions and drama in between, I’m sure.) These kids carry such heavy loads, both literally and figuratively. Middle school parenting is not for the faint of heart. Even on the good days like today. I’m learning to keep leaning in, praying hard, listening well…and showing up with snacks.

April 17, 2022 - Easter

It’s been a really sweet Easter weekend…the first normal one for us since 2019! So very thankful for family, friends, great food, fun festivities, and, above all, the Savior we’re celebrating…He is risen indeed! Happy Easter!

April 27, 2022

NGMS PTSA hosted our first give-back tent at spirit night tonight. Students enjoyed some Rita’s and then stopped by to decorate pots and plant flowers for assisted living residents at Benton House, tie fleece blankets for CHOA patients, and make cards. It was so cool to see these middle schoolers get outside of themselves for a bit and take such care in their creations for those that really need some cheer. Thank you so much to everyone that came by and especially to Tiffany Nelson, Kelly Laco, and Amy Klein for all of your help!

May 6, 2022

So glad the weather cooperated for Oregon Trail Day! No one died of cholera or dysentery nor did we lose a single horse or pioneer…Success! Incredibly thankful for this class, their school, and Amazon fake mustaches.

May 10, 2022

Yesterday, the safe bubble of the Riverside community was burst wide open. We were shocked and shaken to our core. It could have been much worse, yes, but IT SHOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED AT ALL.

As the shock begins to wear off, I have two calls to action:

1. Show up in a tangible way for our school this week. Do something for your bus driver, teacher, the counselor, the SROs, or the administrators. Reach out with an email of encouragement, write a note of appreciation, take them coffee or lunch, offer to volunteer in the classroom to give them a break. They are handling this like professional rock stars, but they are absolutely heartbroken.

So don’t just ask them “what can I do?”….actually DO something. Action is an antidote for anxiety. Of course it feels small in light of things, but it matters that they feel supported right now.

2. Elections are coming up. Research and vote people into office who have the ability to impact policy surrounding mental illness, gun checks, and crimes against children.

I have seen the power and generosity of this community over and over again. Let's rally around those hurting and be a light today.

May 13, 2022

This morning, our school and PTA honored our SROs as we do each May. It’s been scheduled for awhile. In fact, I was supposed to be helping two of them film something on Monday morning that we were going to show today.

But they couldn’t make it because the worst-case scenario of their job description had come to life.

And they were right there on the scene, keeping our school, our children, and our community from harm. In the days since, they have done all they can to make sure everyone in our cluster feels safe, heard, and is taken care of, in addition to all of the paperwork that followed and their regular workloads.

These guys are the best of the best. I hate how the events of this week brought their capabilities to light in this way, but we are eternally grateful, though not surprised, that they rose to the challenge.

May 13, 2022

As we wrap up this exhausting week, I have one last lengthy post to get off my chest.

The awfulness that happened Monday morning may have taken place inside the physical boundaries of our community, but it in NO way reflects what our community is like. The true spirit of our RES tribe has been so evident in the days since:

It’s in the thousands of dollars already raised to show gratitude to Mrs. Patty, the courageous bus driver who saved those students’ lives.

It’s in our local CFA donating lunch to make sure the administrative staff and police officers took time to eat during the hectic first day.

It’s in the staff that, while processing their own trauma, has walked beside students and families so well and helped them work out their own emotions.

It’s in the fourth graders giving a rousing and impromptu standing ovation to SRO Misuraca as he passed through the cafeteria during their lunchtime.

It’s in the PTA handing out breakfast to bus drivers to show appreciation and lift their spirits.

It’s in all of the treats, cards, and hugs that have been given. The phone calls, texts, and emails sent. The earnest prayers of both grief and gratitude lifted up for others.

All of these countless signs of support and love that have surrounded this school and our own this week…sit up straight and pay attention, world…THIS is what our Riverside Rocket community is made of. And I couldn’t be more proud to be a part of it.

June 12, 2022 - Trip to DC

On New Year’s Day, we gave Audrey an early present for her 13th birthday: she got to choose a U.S. destination for our family trip this summer. She immediately said Washington, D.C. and didn’t even want to consider anywhere else. We gave her a budget and she had to research flights, hotels, restaurants, etc. and work out daily itineraries. She did pretty well for her first experience at such a massive undertaking!

The trip was absolutely wonderful. We did everything on her wish list and then some (except tour the White House.) We used the Metro multiple times a day every day and still walked over 35 miles in 3 ½ days! We learned a ton, added new inside jokes to our family catalog, and made great memories. Adventures with these three are my absolute favorite and I pray for many, many more.

P.S. I admit that D.C. wasn’t really on my personal bucket list of places to see. Perhaps I’m just too jaded. However, this trip definitely put a little wind in my sails regarding politics and I will be contacting my reps about several issues tomorrow. In case you have a sliver of hope left too: www.congress.gov

June 15, 2022

Hydrangeas are on of my favorite flowers and I’ve been trying for nearly 9 years to grow some of my own. We began with two small bushes and transplanted them around the yard multiple times to try to help them thrive. Some years they did okay, some they didn’t bloom at all. One bush we finally gave up on and, in a last ditch effort, we planted the other in the only spot we could guarantee it wouldn’t get too much sun or be trampled by backyard football/baseball games. Where is it, you ask? On a railroad tie tier by an AC unit... and of course it’s never looked better! So many cliche lessons at hand: good things take time, bloom where you’re planted even if your surroundings aren’t pretty, etc. But I think the most important takeaway is that if you have even a *chance* of surviving summer in the South, you’d better stay right next to an AC unit.

June 26, 2022

We made a quick stop in Greenville on our way to Asheville/Hendersonville to meet up with these favorites of ours for the weekend. Leaving with fuller hearts, broadened minds, and a deep appreciation for friendships that have stood the test of time, distance, and the hardest relationship strain of all…parenting. Grateful to have gone from the newborn to now teen trenches with you. Looking forward to many more memories and laughs ahead! Love y’all.