The Sinyard Family: Summer of 2018 - AKA The Summer of Moms' Group, Doctor Appointments, and Little Else

Last summer sucked. I apologize for my crass bluntness, but there really is no better way to sum it up as quickly and efficiently as that. I led a weekly mom's group that felt like a flop and made me temporarily and frequently question what I knew to be God's calling about it. On top of that, between well-checks, orthodontic work including a frenectomy for Audrey, and twice weekly allergy shots for Luke, we visited a doctor's office 24 times over the summer. That's not an exaggeration. Twenty. Four. Visits.

Yes I realize how incredibly lucky I am to have two healthy kids so that this was the exception and not the status quo for us. And of course there were good pockets and fun times, but overall, it will not go down as the best summer ever.

To capture some of the season's stories here on the blog, I'm going to copy and paste a series of emails I sent out to a few female family members and friends. The recipients were a prayer group I cobbled together and the emails were mostly about the moms' group I was doing, but they'll also offer some insight into other aspects of our lives at the time as well. Though lengthy, I figured it made more sense to include these than to write something from scratch.

Email 1 of 7. Sent June 4th, 2018:

Hi Ladies,

As some of you may know, I am hosting a moms’ group beginning tomorrow. We are going to meet for six weeks this summer and do a study called “Mom Core” from Karen Stubbs’ Birds on a Wire Ministry.

God prompted me to start this group as an outreach tool to those who may not have a church home or even know Jesus and I am trying to fumble my way through obedience.

I opened this up to my neighborhood and encouraged people to invite friends as well. I advertised it as a moms’ group and, though I did share the material we’d be covering, I purposely didn’t set it up as a small group or a Bible study. Our first session has 14 people signed up and I don’t know half of them. (ACK!) I have no idea where these women are spiritually or what is going on in their lives. I just know that they’re moms who want to become better mothers.

My ask of you is this: Would you please consider being a prayer warrior for this group? I would love it if you would take some time, both now and for a moment during the sessions if you’re able, to intercede for the ladies who attend.

If you are willing, here are some specific details that you can pray for:

They would be open to the message, which contains scriptural Truth. Pray that those that don’t know Jesus would start to crave more.

I would know what to say when (and what not to say when)

All would feel encouraged and better equipped to do this holy privilege and humbling mess of mothering

Safety of the kids (currently 22 signed up for the first meeting!) and babysitters during our session

Good weather, so the kids can meet at our neighborhood playground while we meet in the clubhouse

That the moms are able to implement the Truth they’re learning, and that their husbands and kids notice and respond positively…at least eventually :)

The sessions are from 3-5pm on the following Tuesdays: 6/5, 6/12, 6/19, 7/10, 7/17, 7/24.

Thank you so much for considering doing this. I don’t take it for granted that I have such women amazing Jesus-loving women in my life!

In His love and mine,

Heather

Email 2 of 7. Sent June 5, 2018:

Hi All,

I just wanted to send out an update about how today’s first meeting went. First I have to share that I had a hilariously humbling experience yesterday wherein Luke pitched the most epic meltdown fit. I’m talking a toddler-size tantrum that I haven’t been blessed enough to deal with in quite some time! After navigating our way through it, I couldn’t help but laugh to myself because CLEARLY I am very well equipped to be leading a moms’ group. Mercy. I shared that with my group today to make it perfectly clear that I need this study as much as they do. :)

I arrived at the neighborhood clubhouse early to set up and let the online video we’d be watching start to load. Long story short, it was nearly time to begin and the video wasn’t loading correctly. I started sweating bullets and praying hard as I’m also trying to welcome people in. I did NOT want to wing this thing! I stalled for a few more minutes waiting on the last mom to drop off her kids at the playground. When she came in, we went around and introduced ourselves and our kids' names and ages and then, with a final silent "PLEASE, LORD”, I hit play. And wouldn’t you know it, the entire thing played perfectly without a delay or hiccup at all. The very thing that, for the past hour, would not budge past the ten minute mark without stopping.

Yes, it would’ve been fine if it hadn’t worked and we would’ve made do. But it was much better that it did, and I have no doubt that was because of prayer!

Afterward, I guided everyone through some discussion questions. Today’s session was on our purpose as mothers…which is to please God, not to attempt to perfect our children. We talked about being influencers, not controllers. It struck a chord for sure. Everyone shared a little bit, some more than others of course, but there was such a sense of “YES! ME TOO!” that was incredibly encouraging. I closed with a prayer and everyone made their way to pick up the kids, who ALL SURVIVED! Another answered prayer! :)

The topic of faith was brought up, God’s Word was heard, and prayer was spoken…and not one mom ran away. :) I have a lot left to learn about some of these new faces and where they stand, but today was a success. Thank you so much for your faithful intercession!

Love,

Heather

Email 3 of 7. Sent June 12, 2018:

Hey Everyone,

Before I update you on today’s moms’ group session, I wanted to share a bit about the last few days in the Sinyard household if you’ll permit me the lengthy ramble.

Last week at a dental appointment, we discovered Luke has what’s called a mesioden…an extra tooth…that’s coming in where he lost his top front tooth. Basically a second baby tooth. Not very common, but it’s likely going to require extraction. At the very least, x-rays have shown we’ll be walking a similar orthodontic path with him to the one we recently began with Audrey.

Then yesterday at his routine pediatric check-up, he failed his hearing test in one ear. It was slight, but it was a fail. The doctor thinks it is likely fluid build-up in his ear due to allergies. We already had an appointment for allergy skin-patch testing scheduled for tomorrow (seasonal allergies had become very bad along with other minor symptoms I wanted checked out), so we’ll see what that doctor says and get him back on meds and then retest.

After Luke’s appointment, we had an orthodontist appointment for Audrey. (Do we know how to live it up in the summertime or WHAT?!) Her braces were originally scheduled to be put on in the fall, but that’s gotten bumped up to be closer to her frenectomy that’s scheduled for July. I tried to spin this as good news (start sooner, end sooner!), but through her hot tears she confessed her fears about starting school with them on and the girls in the class thinking she’s a nerd not worth getting to know. This fear is compounded by the fact that she doesn’t have any close friends assigned to her class next year and was already worried about that.

SHEW.

I realize that we could be facing SO much worse. And individually, these things would be easy to handle. But the combination of all of them compounded by the worry over Luke’s ear in particular has made for a heavy heart for this Mama. I woke up at 3:45 this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep. Around 5, I gave in and got up to go for a run. I figured it would either clear my head or deprive my brain of oxygen, so either way, it would help. As I ran, God kept bringing the word “Trust’’ to mind. I got home, showered, and opened up my Write the Word journal. The verse of today? Romans 5:1-5

"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through Him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

After I got over the initial pouting (“Well what if the kids and I don’t WANT character?!”), I had a long chat with God. The bottom line is that these children belong to Him, and that He loves them even more than me. I have to trust that He is working these things out for their (and my) good. And make no mistake: It’s is not a coincidence that this is happening just as I’m trying to be obedient to God’s ask of me.

So on to the moms’ group update: Today went okay. I am discouraged because I had 14 sign up and only 5 show for various reasons. It felt like another blow after the last few tiring days. Of course I told myself that “God had the ladies there that He wanted there”, but that’s hard for my quantifying personality to accept. But those five showed up and the rain miraculously held off so the kids could play outside. The storm clouds on the horizon were so threatening I just knew we’d have a downpour, but they never broke. The discussion went very well (today’s topic was boundaries) and more of God’s Truth was heard and prayer spoken. I had one of the moms that cancelled because she was sick bring her kid down to play with the others so she could rest for a little while. I know this mom is either not a believer or is far from God, and I can’t help but wonder if God used that small gesture to minister to her today.

I don’t know what next week’s session will hold, but I’m going to keep showing up and hoping others do too. I’m going to keep speaking Truth into these ladies’ lives AND my kids’ lives about how much God loves them and is always with them. Do any of us ever tire of hearing that?!

If you would be so kind, would you please add Audrey and Luke to your prayer list as you continue to pray for this group? And I certainly wouldn’t mind prayer for a decent night’s sleep for me as well.

Thank you so much for your sweet prayers, warriors. I know God is faithful and I am continuing to trust Him, even when sometimes it feels like too much for not enough.

Love,

Heather

Email 4 of 7. Sent June 20, 2018:

Hey Ladies,

First, an update on my babies since I’ve roped you into that saga: Luke’s allergy testing confirmed what we suspected…that he’s basically allergic to the outdoors. And dust. And cats. He will begin immunotherapy injections (fancy term for allergy shots) in about two weeks. The course is a serious commitment: 3 shots twice a week for 3 months, then dropping to once per week for a couple of months, then once every other week, etc. until he reaches his monthly maintenance dose in about 9 months and continues that for a couple of years. The goal is to get him to eventually come off of all OTC medications (that he’s basically taking year round right now) and enjoy the outdoors whatever time of year he wants to without misery. David went through these as a child and now no longer needs any sort of medicine even when cutting grass in April in Georgia, which is saying something. It’s going to be painful in a variety of ways (physically on him and time-wise for all of us), but we feel like this is the best longterm solution, so please pray we’re right.

A huge praise: Audrey had an eye exam yesterday (that’s right…still partying hard over here!) and the doctor reported that her eyesight has improved drastically. Vision changes as people grow and age, and for her this means she is getting less farsighted. There may come a day where she reaches “zero” and doesn’t need glasses OR her farsightedness could turn to nearsightedness as she ages. Only time will tell, but for now, we’ll take this as a huge answered prayer. The doctor is no longer concerned about amblyopia and has released us from seeing her again for an entire year. This is the first time we’ve been able to go a year in between eye appointments since she was four. PRAISE THE LORD!

Please continue to pray for their orthodontic stuff (specifically Audrey’s braces on 7/9 and frenectomy on 7/11) and Luke’s ear to clear up. I’ll keep you posted!

Now on to an update about yesterday's moms’ group session…you know, the thing you originally committed to praying about (I feel like I’ve signed you up for a 90s CD subscription service over here and now you’re getting 800 mailings you didn’t bargain for): I had fourteen signed up, but four cancelled and three didn’t show, so we had seven. Three of them were new faces who hadn’t been before. I’m not sure if this is good because I’m still getting interest from some or bad because I’ve run others off. :)

Our discussion was on time management (and did I have a little grumbling in my heart about those that didn’t show/cancelled and how much they needed to hear this message? Yes. Yes I did.) We talked about three categories: non-negotiables (for most of us this would include God, husband, children), essentials (grocery shopping, work, school for kids, laundry/housework, holidays/birthdays), and bonus (volunteering, kids’ activities, vacations, etc.) The discussion was real and honest. Many of us admitted that our husband/marriage is the first thing to get dropped. We brainstormed ways to remedy this. Several talked through how difficult it is to balance career with motherhood and the feeling of constant failure in one or the other. I gently pointed them back to previous sessions and scripture and tried to reassure them how God doesn’t expect perfection. One woman mentioned how the Lord kept bringing to mind a verse she’d heard the first week and how she keeps praying it as she faces daily challenges. As for the kids, they got a little wet in the rain but stayed safe (no thunder/lightning, so they played under a pavilion). The wifi wasn’t working for streaming, but the DVDs I ordered “just in case” came this week, so we were covered!

As for my heart, God is still working on it and my measures of success. I’m trying to let go of my expectations about numbers/discussion and just approach each week with an upbeat, humble, and obedient attitude. I admittedly didn’t pray or prepare for this week like I should have. I think a lot of that was busyness with all that’s been going on, but there was also a good bit of pouting about this summer looking so different than I wanted it to. I want lazy days and boredom, but instead we’re finding ourselves busy with not very fun stuff. Which, in all honesty, was making me a little resentful of having this group on my plate. I came home from yesterday’s meeting feeling drained and sighed heavily as I heard my phone buzz across the room. I got up to go get it and found a text that read: “Thank you so much for today. I really enjoyed it and needed it more than I realized.” And suddenly every bit of effort, prayer, and prep was worth it.

Here are some specific prayer requests for the upcoming weeks:

- that as these women think through their categories this week, that time with God will move to/stay on the non-negotiable list and that it would be fruitful.

- for these mamas to truly enjoy and soak up the summertime with their kids, and that God would give them encouragement and wisdom in their parenting

- for true rest for me as we take a break for the next two weeks and faithfulness when it’s time to gear back up for the final three weeks in July

Thank you again for your sweet prayers! They carried me this week!

Love,

Heather

Email 5 of 7. Sent July 10, 2018:

Hey Ladies!

Thank you for your prayers for rest! The two week break from the group was much needed and I was able to approach today’s session refreshed and with a renewed sense of purpose. It was still a low attendance meeting with a lot of no-shows, BUT the lady that I’ve really been wanting to have there came for the last hour. I don’t know her well at all, but I’m fairly sure she is not a believer. Her name was one that came to mind when God first urged me to do this. Please pray that what she heard today will sink in and draw her back for another week.

The ladies seemed to really enjoy today’s session, which was about personalities and being a student of your child. We had great, honest discussion as we usually do. I realized today that I’ve been taking that for granted. It is no small thing to have such sweet vulnerability in a group of women that don’t know each other well, especially with such varied attendance from week to week. Please pray that continues!

On a personal note, everything is going pretty well. Luke has begun his allergy shots and is handling them like a champ. Audrey had her braces put on yesterday and it’s gone much smoother than we could have hoped both physically and emotionally. Her frenectomy is at 9am tomorrow and that is giving her a lot of anxiety. Please pray for peace for her and us, for a smooth procedure, and for quick and painless healing.

Thanks again for your faithful prayers!

Love,

Heather

Email 6 of 7. Sent July 17, 2018:

Hi All,

First off I wanted to thank you for your prayers for Audrey’s frenectomy. It went very smoothly and she handled it amazingly well. The stitches come out this Thursday and then we’re back next week to tighten the band on the front teeth. Luke had an orthodontic consultation yesterday (we wanted detailed x-rays given his mesioden) and we discovered he’s actually missing his two bottom permanent teeth, just like his big sister is.

No, I am not joking.

In related news, we’re now saving for their orthodontia work instead of their college.

There’s nothing to do at the moment for those or for his mesioden, but we’ll head back in 4-6 months to see how things are progressing and if anything needs to come out up top due to the crowding. For now we’ll focus on the allergy shots (two more months of twice weekly visits then we start to taper to weekly) and getting his hearing retested.

Today’s moms’ group meeting went well. I had a small moment of panic when the clubhouse's closet that the projector is in was locked and none of the HOA board members were available to come open it for me as they usually do. I rushed home while on the phone with my IT guru (a.k.a. David) and he coached me through the best option. I grabbed a computer monitor, our DVD player, a remote, and an HDMI cable and shoved them all in the back of the van. I imagine I looked like I was robbing our house! Ten minutes later, we were back at the clubhouse and up and running…on a smaller screen, but up and running!

Today’s lesson was on discipline. It was so timely…I think all of us there today needed to be reminded of the truths we heard. In the midst of these dog days of summer, it’s so much easier to just let things slide or respond in fatigued frustration instead of continuing to put in the hard work of training our kids. The discussion afterward was full of humility and honesty as we focused on this verse:

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11

Prayer requests for the coming week as we head into our last session:

- That we would all remember pain now = peace later, and be consistent, clear, and calm when disciplining our kids this week

- That I would finish this group strong by preparing well

- That God would lead women back for the final session who haven’t been in a few weeks despite any sheepish feelings they may be fighting…especially those that I sense aren’t believers

- That I would be able to find sitters, as our regulars will be on vacation and I’m struggling to locate subs

- That God would guide me on how to wrap up/follow up with everyone who has attended. I have some ideas, but I need His guidance.

Thank you, as always, for your faithful prayers for this group!

Love,

Heather

Email 7 of 7. Sent July 24, 2018:

Hey Ladies,

Well, yesterday was the FINAL moms’ group session! I’m still processing the whole experience and I imagine God will be teaching me lessons (both parenting and otherwise!) from it for quite some time.

I wish I had more tangible results or outcomes to report, but that’s not often how God works, is it? I may never know if my obedience made any real difference or had any lasting impact. (Nor am I fishing for affirmation, so please don’t read my honest vulnerability as that.) However, being the sweet Father that He is, God threw my statistic-loving heart a line and brought to my mind the fact that 29 kids were represented among the ladies that came throughout the six sessions. 29 kids had mamas that heard some amount of God’s Truth that they otherwise may not have heard. That’s no small thing. Add to that that friendships were formed, encouragement was given, and prayers were lifted. And one friend that came has reached out to me about wanting to start a group in her own neighborhood in the fall!

God was in this. I didn’t misunderstand His calling to lead this group. I just have to trust that He has the outcomes under control!

Thank you so very much for your faithful prayers. If I could be so bold as to ask, here are a couple of final requests as we wrap up our ministry time together:

- For any seeds that were planted to continue to grow in those that aren’t believers or are struggling with their relationship with God.

- That all of the moms that came will continue applying the lessons they learned and the scripture they heard.

- I will be sending a wrap up email and a list of resources to all that attended as well as an invitation to church. Please pray that God would move the women to dial in and continue to speak to them through various mediums.

- That as we head into August and I begin to volunteer alongside many of these ladies at school, that our friendships would grow. That they would see me as a resource and that I would continue to have opportunities to share God’s love and grace with them.

- That the final few days of summer would be a time of true rest and connection for David, Audrey, Luke, and me.

Thank you again for jumping in and supporting this. I so appreciate each of you and the time you took to intercede for these women, for me, and for my family!

Love,

Heather

Reading back over these emails reminds me that maybe it really wasn't quite as bad as I remember. :) And God surely proved faithful. One of my favorite examples of His love was this post-it note I found stuck to Audrey's e-reader on the morning of her frenectomy:

What a special and precious reminder that He was pursuing and comforting my kids in the midst of their tough situations. He used this summer to draw us all closer to Him, that's for sure.

I'll close with a quick bullet-point list of some other highlights of the summer:

Luke played i9 basketball. He really enjoyed it and did great!

We went to our first Braves baseball game at SunTrust Park

The kids and I traveled up to South Carolina to stay a night with the Taylor family

We celebrated Audrey turning 9 with a Roller Skating birthday party.

We traveled to New Smyrna Beach with David's family, where we did a 5k on the beach, road gokarts, let the kids do night swimming after their crab hunt, celebrated Audrey's birthday, and David, his dad, and I woke up early to watch a rocket launch.

David and I ran the Peachtree Road Race together

The kids had some quality grandparent time with overnight stays, a visit to the Tellus Museum with their Grandpa and Grandma, and swimming in Nana's pool.

The four of us spent a night at the Smith House in Dahlonega. During our visit, we tubed on the Chestatee River, panned for gold and toured the gold mine, and visited the Chestatee Wildlife Preserve where we got to feed zebras!

We took the kids to the Stone Mountain Laser Show

We started a back yard expansion project and had a dozen massive trees taken out, the fence extended, moved the playground, and had the ground leveled and seeded. It doubled the available play space.

I began what I hope will become a new tradition of a "Christmas in July" day. I woke up the kids with Christmas music and then let them each open a small gift. We spent the day making grandparent gifts for Christmas, baking Christmas treats, making a Christmas craft, playing Christmas-themed bingo, watched "The Star"...you get the picture. It was one of my favorite days of the year to date.

Some pictures from June and July: