Cruise to the Bahamas 2015

This past weekend David and I took a cruise to the Bahamas.  (Yeah, it's still very surreal for me too and I've already gone and come back.)  

In short, it was an amazing trip.  I was trying to pinpoint exactly what it was about it that made it so great.  I mean, obviously the destinations were gorgeous.  The service was excellent.  The food was good.  The shows were funny.  And it goes without saying that the company was superb.  But I think more than any of those things was the simple fact of managed expectations.  We hadn't planned for a year and spent tons of money as we've done for other vacations in the past.  It was "last minute" (to me) and we were on credit card and airline miles, so we didn't feel like we had a ton invested.  We just went into it hoping for a nice weekend and a little relaxation.  

Done and DONE.

The long version: 

David's parents arrived around 7am on Friday for the first grandparent shift.  We gave them last minute information (including that our washing machine had broken the night before.  YUP.) and made sure the "Grandparent Manual" was out and ready to be referenced...or thrown out the window, whichever they wanted.  

We got to the airport with plenty of time to spare and had Chick-fil-A for breakfast.  We called the kids to tell them good morning and then I sat down and caught up on some video and picture file stuff on my laptop while we waited for our plane to start boarding.  As we sat there, David got a call from work asking him to go to San Diego later in the week.  If you've followed this vacation storyline closely, you'll recognize that the timing of this call was hilarious.  We had been waiting since early Spring for him to get a call to go to CA so we could turn that into a little getaway trip for ourselves.  He had nothing on the books and it didn't appear that anything was coming, either, so we decided to go ahead and make other trip plans.  Then AS WE'RE WAITING FOR THE FLIGHT he gets a call to go to CA in a few days.  Of course we didn't regret booking the cruise and it was a way better trip, but we still laughed about that pretty hard.

Anyway, we got on the plane and had a nice uneventful flight to Miami.  At the airport there, we grabbed our bags and jumped in a taxi headed for the cruise ship terminal.  It was a decent wait to get through the check-in process on that end, but we boarded the ship around 3pm and were greeted by an excited group of the crew singing, clapping, and welcoming us "home."  We checked out our room (tiny, but clean) and then walked around to explore the ship.  We hadn't eaten lunch, so we snagged a snack at the buffet and then went back to unpack.  We found a quiet spot on one of the upper decks to rest, read, and watch the sun go down.  We ate dinner at the buffet and then got some dessert at the crepe station (delicious!) on the way to see the 9:30 variety show.  It was great and the hospitality/management nerd in me adored the bit where they hilariously introduced the senior management staff.  The comedian gave a little preview of the act he'd be putting on the following night and then they had the on-ship performing dance company do a number or two.  We yawned our way out the door and were in bed with lights out at 11pm.  Yeah, we closed it down.

The next morning we woke up to the feeling of the ship vibrating into place at the Nassau Port.  I reached for my phone in the pitch black room to check the time, certain that it was going to say 5am or some other too-depressingly-early-for-vacation hour.  I was giddy when it said 6:50.  I'd slept nearly 8 straight hours with only a momentary stirring or two.  I do not usually sleep well on vacation, so this was a gift straight from heaven above.  We showered and then ate breakfast at an onboard restaurant that was serving omelets and waffles.  We went back to slather on sunscreen and pack our backpack then disembarked into Nassau around 9am. 

Not being our first time traveling, we kept our heads down, avoided eye contact, and high tailed it through the swarms of people attempting to talk to us or sell us stuff.  We ducked into a couple of little shops to look for a Christmas ornament, but came up empty handed.  I had no desire to go to the market place but beyond it was a much calmer section of local merchants set up in nice tents.  We found a table displaying ornaments and other little straw goodies.  The pretty lady behind the table greeted us with a big grin and proudly showed off her "signature piece"...a straw flip-flop ornament with a Bahamian penny.  Sold.  We finished our walk to Junkanoo Beach, rented some chairs and an umbrella, and alternated between reading, talking, and getting up for a short dip in the gorgeous water right in front of us.  The sun stayed behind the clouds most of the day, which was great for keeping the temperatures low and avoiding getting fried.  All in all, it was as miserable as you're imagining.

Around 2pm, the beach was getting a little busy (there were four cruise ships in port) and the crowd was getting a little drunk.  We gathered our stuff and walked the 3/4 mile or so back to the ship, pausing to take a few pictures.  We took a different route on the return and strolled through a nice clean shopping district.  Side note:  It just amazes me that one would take a trip all the way to the Bahamas and then spend the day indoors shopping at chain stores and drinking a cup of coffee at Starbucks, but to each his own I suppose.

We got back on board, showered, and took a nap.  We were simply exhausted from all that laying around we'd done.  When we woke up, we found a quiet spot to call and check on the kids who frankly hadn't seemed to notice we were gone with all the fun they'd been having!  After we hung up, we laid claim to some deck chairs in a quiet spot and continued our earlier tasks of reading and resting and talking.  When we couldn't stand it anymore, we changed for dinner and went to one of the big dining room restaurants to eat.

The food wasn't phenomenal, but the thing about a cruise ship is you have approximately half a dozen other included choices and you're likely to eat again in about five minutes, so you don't have to stress over a mediocre meal.  A nice maitre d' came over to introduce himself and ask how things were going.  Seeing as how we were the youngest couple in a near-empty restaurant at the early bird hour, I imagine we drew some attention to ourselves.  We chatted a few minutes and after we explained our affinity for peace and quiet, he gave us a tip about where to go when we got to Great Stirrup Cay Island the next day.  We thanked him and finished our meal, laughing about our geriatric tendencies.  

We changed clothes right after dinner and - you guessed it - found a quiet spot with a good view to sit back and relax while we waited for the comedian's 9:30 show to begin.  Making our way through the freezing ship, we stopped for dessert and then by the gift shop to look at sweatshirts.  I ultimately decided that $32 in my pocket would keep me warmer than a $32 sweatshirt on my back and we found seats in the ship's theater.  The hilarious cruise director got the crowd fired up and laughing and then introduced the comedian.  He was clean and pretty funny, with the best bit being about his Type-A ex-girlfriend whom he would often find himself in the middle of the argument with because she'd had the first half of the fight already figured out and done for him.  I couldn't relate at all and from the sound of David's side-splitting laughter beside me, neither could he.  :)  We left with big smiles and were asleep by 11pm.

The next morning we woke up after another great night of rest.  We got ready and ate breakfast at the buffet.  French toast with caramelized banana sauce, bacon, potatoes, biscuits and gravy, fresh fruit, etc.  (I have no idea how I gained four pounds in three days.)  Because we couldn't pull into a port and instead had to do tender/shuttle boats to the cruise line's private island, the process took a little longer than the day before.  After sitting on the top deck of a nauseously rocking boat in the baking sun for twenty minutes, we were getting cranky, but all was forgiven when we stepped off onto Great Stirrup Cay.  It was simply stunning.  I mean, straight out of a traveler's magazine article of the top ten destinations in the world.  The crowd went right and we veered left, heading in the direction of the secluded lagoon the maitre d' had told us about the night before.  After about a ten minute walk, we stumbled on it.  Heaven on earth.

We had it completely to ourselves for the first thirty minutes or so and even after that, there were only a few visitors trickling in.  We swam and watched fish, walked along the rock wall/sand bar and marveled at the view until we sounded like broken records.  ("Isn't this gorgeous?! It's so gorgeous!  I mean this is GORGEOUS.")  We chased the palm tree shade for a long while and then trekked back to the excursion hut to look into snorkeling prices.  Turns out the cheapest option was $30 per person plus tax and we were determined to keep this "free" (airline and cc miles) vacation as close to free as possible, so we skipped it.  We grabbed a bite to eat at the beach buffet they'd set up and then went for a swim in one of the ocean inlets on the way back to our lagoon spot.  They'd just started a round of family olympic games there, so we opted to find another space to set up in.  We walked down to the ocean again and floated, swam, and chilled for a long while before the threat of sunburn sent us back to the shade.  The day was full of sunshine, which was perfect weather, but that meant no cloud cover to protect us (read: David.)  We dried off and laid under the shady palm trees reading and napping for another couple of hours before lining up and boarding the tender boat back to the ship.  I was so sad to see the island grow smaller as we pulled away.  It had been such an amazing day spent in an astoundingly beautiful place.  

We called the kids and checked in, this time hearing a little more longing in their voices.  Luke was especially cranky, as we'd called right in the middle of grandparent shift change when he'd just woken up.  I tried to lighten him up but ultimately had to just get off the phone and let Nana work her magic.  I heard later that he came around in no time.  We got cleaned up, dressed in casual clothes, and found our new quiet spot to chill and watch the ocean pass as we read and chatted.  Around 6:30 (we were becoming regular night owls), we changed and went to dinner in the other main dining room.  The food was much better and afterward we tried to find a place to sit back and listen to some music.  We ended up swinging by the casino and spending a whopping $5 on video poker before relaxing at the back of the ship watching the sunset beside our wake.  It was serene to say the least. 

We strolled around a little more before taking in the 9:30 finale variety show.  It was good, but wasn't knocking our socks off, so we snuck out a little early to find something that would.  Turns out that even after eleven years of marriage, we can still rock the boat.  ;)

After remembering to set an alarm (how nice it had been not to have to for two days!), we fell into a deep sleep.  The next morning was a blur of showering, packing, breakfast, disembarking, and heading through customs.  We tried to be extra kind to each other because we both knew the other was so very, very sad it was ending.  After an exhilarating taxi ride, we got to the airport with plenty of time to spare.  It dawned on both of us after we had already checked our bags that we should've asked about getting on an earlier flight. No matter...sitting around leisurely in an airport wasn't the worst thing in the world since we only had ourselves to entertain.  In fact, we ended up using most of the time to do the dreaded washing machine research that needed to be done.  

(Back story:  I've loathed our front loader since we got it a decade ago.  When it died on us right before we left, I dared anyone to attempt to fix it lest they face my wrath.  My dad ignored me and tried anyway, but with no success.  David agreed I'd paid my dues and we bought one sight unseen over the phone.  It had amazing reviews, including the stamp of approval of Kara and her mother-in-law, which was enough for me.  And, frankly, we'd spent weeks stressing and researching the last time we bought one and that turned out horribly, so we decided to go about it differently this time.)  

Anyway, we researched washers, ordered one from Lowe's, and set up delivery.  After grabbing a bite to eat, we boarded the plane bound for Atlanta.  One and a half uneventful hours later, we landed and walked outside to the sticky hot slap-in-the-face that is summertime in the ATL.  

We got to the house and were greeted with a welcome home "party" that the kids and my mom had put together complete with a couple of signs, blown-up balloons, and cupcakes.  The kids hugged us for a very, very long time and then began the story telling between all of us about what an amazing weekend it had been.  My mom got on the road and we served up leftovers and kept swapping tales until it was time for bed.

I'm not going to lie, Tuesday morning found us in a serious funk.  Coming off of such a great trip coupled with the news that David was going out of town (just a short trip, but still) was tough.  The kids had been spoiled all weekend as had we, so there was definitely a detox period for all of us.  By Wednesday night, however, we'd managed to adjust our attitudes and expectations back to normal.  Mostly.  

The whole thing was just fantastic and I'm so very grateful that we got to go.  The memories we made will last for many years to come (hopefully the slight vertigo feeling of the ship rocking will not...)

Thankful Thursday

So after typing out today's TT list, I realize it's more like a novella, but I'm going with it:

1.  A fantastic 4th of July!  Though the rain shifted some plans here and there, we still got to see the Taylors and go to fireworks on Friday and then to David's Aunt's annual family reunion on Saturday.  It was great seeing everyone, eating yummy food, and celebrating America's 239th birthday.  

2.  Race progress!  After hitting two dozen businesses in person and emailing ten more, we are getting somewhere.  We have two bronze sponsors, a gold sponsor, and two committed-but-undecided-on-level sponsors.  I have a long way to go, but this is GREAT!  

3.  Sweet kids and immediate perspective.  Tuesday was a long day.  I only slept about five hours the night before and we had to be up and out the door for the kids' dentist appointments that morning.  They both got through it very well, but the x-ray revealed a small cavity on one of Audrey's teeth (oh hello, Mommy guilt), which means we get to go back and deal with that in a couple of weeks.  We went from there 25 minutes farther out to drop off a donation and then drove the 45 minutes home for lunch.  After lunch I put them down for rest/nap, made about a dozen phone calls and sent emails for race sponsorships, and then got on my conference call for work.  After it was over (which, being one of my last ones, brought up mixed emotions), I got the kids up, shoved a snack in them, and went to the bank and the grocery store.  

Now, I gave you all of this back story because I need you to understand my reaction in what transpired next.  It had been a long, full day and I was also...well, let's just say "hormonal."  I walked out to the garage to get something out of the refrigerator we have out there and noticed the freezer door didn't look closed.  Squeezing one eye shut and peeking with the other, I hoped against hope I was wrong as I checked.  Turns out I was not wrong.

The door had been open for quite some time...long enough for everything inside to have gotten completely thawed and turned to mush.  And by everything, I mean ALL the meals I'd prepared for "Grandparent Weekend" when we're on our trip, all of Audrey's GF cupcake stash I have for birthday parties/events she gets invited to, and all of the strawberries we proudly picked that I use for smoothies.  Plus some frozen GF bread, bagels, tortillas, and pizza.  I couldn't help myself, I stood there and cried some big ol' tears like a big ol' baby.  All that WORK...gone!  The time spent, the money spent!  I had those meals done and checked off and now I had to start all over again!  

The kids saw me and asked what was wrong.  I explained the situation and they gave me hugs and then disappeared.  Which was fine by me, because I needed a minute to collect myself.  Later they returned with this handmade card:

The inside read:  "Love you!  We can help you make new food."

I mean, really.  I got all teary-eyed again, squeezed them tight, and thanked them profusely.  I got a grip quickly after that because, let's face it, I was sad about losing meals that my amazing parents and in-laws will be feeding my kids while I get to go on an awesome trip with my husband.  Talk about a first-world problem.  It was a bummer, but I overreacted.  I explained that to the kids and we talked about how emotions sometimes get the best of us...even as adults.  I'm so thankful for their sensitivity and thoughtfulness.  And may I have a little more grace the next time the two of them show a little drama.  They do come by it so very honestly.

4.  A new hairdresser.  I had been going to the same girl for nearly two years.  Every 6-8 weeks for TWO years and she never knew my kids' or husband's names, never asked how things were in my life, never followed up with what little news I did manage to squeeze into a conversation.  Which is fine, if you're nailing the hairdo, but lately that had been majorly slipping.  I've been attempting to grow it long for almost a year and made very little progress because she kept cutting off too much.  This past visit was the straw that broke the camel's back when she gave me a pretty hardcore mullet on one side.  I'd been so hesitant to leave because she's always done a great job on the color, but I was just a few feathered bangs short of a 80s rock star and had to make the call.  It helped that she'd recently made comments like "In just four years, I'm going to be THIRTY.  Gah!" and "I mean, it was a new Coach bag and only cost $400!" (For the record, I do own a couple of Coach bags, but their combined total did not cost me $400.)  The time had come for us to part ways.  

So I asked around and got a couple of recommendations for a place nearby.  I walked in and wasn't immediately snubbed by the lady working the front desk, which was refreshing.  I sat down, talked with the new hairdresser (who is 34, married, and has a four year old - already liking her!) and she...get this...did EXACTLY what I asked her to do and did it well!  I'm pleased as pie.  I didn't have her do color today, so the real test will come then, but my fingers are crossed.  This could be the one.  Laugh if you will, but the relationship between southern women and their hairdressers is vital, y'all.  Haven't you seen Steel Magnolias?!  I need this to work out.

5.  After writing a list that included me fussing over thawed food and a hairdresser, I feel like I owe you a deeper finale.  I leave you with this amazing video I watched this morning about some unsung heroes of 9/11.  I'm so thankful they were there to help and so glad our country has this kind of bravery and heroism through and through:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/MDOrzF7B2Kg?rel=0)

June/New Smyrna Beach 2015 Recap

June began with a week of Vacation Bible School for Audrey.  Having just gotten finished with her school year, she wasn't exactly rarin' to start something with the title "school" in it, but when I picked her up at the end of the first day she said "Mom!  That was AWESOME!  I can't wait to go back tomorrow!"  :)  I'd made sure she was in the same class as her little friend Kaelyn and they ended up having a wonderful time making crafts, playing games, singing songs, and watching Bible lessons told through fun skits.  Hearing about it kinda made me wish I could've attended, too.  

That week also included a visit from my Aunt Jill, who was down from Virginia.  She and my mom came over for the day and hung out with us.  After I put Luke down for nap, they took Audrey out to a local bakery that has GF cupcakes and spent some girl time with just her while I did my conference call for work.  She had a blast and it was a great visit.

The next week we left for our annual trip to New Smyrna Beach with David's parents and his mom's side of the family.  The ride down went extremely well and we had a great week full of family memories, excellent weather, and good food.  On the last day Audrey spiked a 102 fever with no other symptoms.  We kept her dosed on Tylenol and stopped by an after-hours pediatrician's on the way home to make sure she didn't have a UTI or ear infection, but both were clear.  I guess it was just one of those weird virus things that last a few days.  Thankfully no one else came down with it.  (And yes, if you're thinking someone always spends some portion of our NSB trip being sick, you are correct.  Last year we stopped by the after-hours place for Luke on the way home because his cough sounded like tuberculosis.)  Anyway, aside from that, it really was a great time and we enjoyed ourselves.  For the sake of time and keeping you awake, I've bullet-pointed some highlights at the end of the post.  

When we got back, all focus shifted towards preparations for Audrey's birthday party.  I'd told myself months earlier that I was going to keep things a lot more simple this year.  Instead of having lunch, we decided to just do cake and ice cream and put the money towards a magician.  I'm not entirely sure how I thought that switch would lighten my load a ton, but for some reason, I made that assumption.  It didn't really dawn on me until about two weeks out that I still had a bunch of work left to do (cleaning, decorating, finding and putting together favors, figuring out a small craft, etc.)  I ordered several things before we left for the beach and got to work on them when we got back.  I really did scale back quite a bit from what I've done in the past and not having the pressure of a meal was huge.  I'll write more details of the actual day/party in a separate post, but to spare you the suspense, I'll go ahead and tell you it was a hit and the kids had a ball (some of them literally...it was one of the tricks! Ha!)  And I now have a SIX year old.  What on earth...


The next week began daily swim lessons for both kids.  I was kind of on the fence about Audrey taking them since this would make summer #4 for her, but I figured it really couldn't hurt.  She was pumped, but Luke was definitely apprehensive.  In fact, on the first day, he kept shaking his head "no" at everything the coach asked him to do and even started crying at one point, which is very unlike him to do for someone else.  (He usually reserves his disobedience and stubbornness for David and me, which is annoying, but the way we'd prefer it if we had to choose.)  My heart ached for him, but I stayed out of sight and prayed for his bravery.  By the end of the lesson, he had jumped off (okay, maybe it was more like he'd been pulled off) the side, gone under water for the first time, and practiced both floating and how to pull himself up out of the pool from the side.  He got out, ran over to me, and yelled "Mommy, I did it!  I'm so proud of myself!"  I was too...big time!  I fed him lunch while Audrey did her lesson.  She worked on floating, freestyle, and backstroke and did really well at all of it.  


The rest of the week went mostly the same, with Luke gaining courage and Audrey gaining skill with each lesson.  The first two nights when we put Luke to bed, he cried in anticipation of the next day and even woke up once with a nightmare, but by the end of the week he was looking forward to going.  He still wasn't ready to conquer the water slide (even sitting in my lap), though we tried on two different days at his request.  We'd climb the stairs, wait in line, and then he'd get scared and decide he wasn't ready.  I told him that was fine and he didn't have to.  He HAD to do swim lessons, but I'd leave the slide up to him to decide when he was ready.  I'm not sure it'll happen this year at all, but he'll get there.  Audrey, on the other hand, couldn't be pulled away from the thing.  I humbled myself and even joined her in the fun about a half a dozen times one of the last days.  


At the end of the month, I began giving in to this enormous urge to purge I'd had going on for weeks.  Something about the extra time that quitting work plus the lack of outside of commitments during summer offers makes me want to frantically clean out every drawer and closet in my house and reorganize it all before August.  I feel like everything has just piled up and piled up until I'm ready to pull my hair out.  I tackled my craft room and "event planning" closets first and got rid of a ton of stuff that I no longer need.  I realized that I needed to shift my focus away from keeping things that are for gender-specific kids' birthday parties and only stash the stuff that'll help with the parties I do for the kids' classes.  If and when I ever do start my event planning business again (not likely, but who knows...), I don't think I'll have any desire to do kids' birthday parties, so there really wasn't any sense in holding on to stuff like tea pot party signs and Happy Birthday train-shaped banners.  It was hard to let it go given how much time, energy, and effort (and great memories!) I had invested, but I was able to sell some stuff and donate/gift the rest, so that helped ease the pain.  


The other big project we took on this month was removing the laundry room sink and replacing it with a hall tree/cubby/bench storage unit thingy (that's the official name for it) for the kids' backpacks, coats, etc.  David did a fantastic job building it and I even helped with the wall repair and cosmetic side.  It looks FANTASTIC and I am so very pleased with how it turned out.  It'll serve us well for years to come...much more so than the nasty dirty sink that I only used to fill up the watering can or wash out paint brushes.

So that was June!  A busy but fun start to our summer, for sure.  I'll leave you with the highlights I promised:

Highlights of our NSB Trip:

•   Our annual Crab Hunt!  I cracked open some glow stick necklaces and bracelets and we headed down to the beach just as it was getting dark.  We enlisted the help of David's cousin James again this year, since he is a master hunter.  After about 30 minutes, we'd managed to collect 22 crabs of various sizes.  We circled up, took a picture, and then let them go.  (Poor crabs are probably still trying to figure out what happened to them.)  The kids had a blast!

•   David, Luke, and I had our very first Mommy-Daddy-Son date.  We went out for ice cream, which he loved, and then took him to pick out a souvenir.  He chose a plastic blue shark and immediately named him "Bones."  We took a stroll on the beach and let him talk or ask about whatever he wanted, which was mostly questions about sharks.  

•    We also had our annual Mommy-Daddy-Daughter date.  We did get to have Dairy Queen, but had to forego the lunch part and the cone.  She couldn't decide between a hot fudge sundae and a M & M blizzard, so I got one and she got the other and we shared.  David got a banana split with strawberry syrup (I will never understand his preference for fruit in desserts.)  Afterward, we drove to the same souvenir shop that we'd taken Luke to earlier in the week and she selected a pink plastic shark and named her "Sarah."  We walked around for just a little bit and then headed back to the condo. 

•                On the last day I woke up super early and couldn't get back to sleep.  I crept out of the condo and walked down to the beach to see the sunrise.  Though I've seen plenty of sunrises on the beach while running by, I haven't actually stood to watch one from start to finish in a very long time.  I'd forgotten how amazing it is to see a giant orange ball of fire appear straight out of the water.  God's creation is just awesome.

•   David and I got in some personal hobby time, too.  He got in three rounds of golf with his grandfather and uncle (which brought his total rounds of golf for the year to three, so that was a big deal!)  I got to read two books and finish a huge blog post PLUS we got to do a date one night. 

•   We went to visit my Great Uncle Ben and Great Aunt Bonnie for an afternoon.  I've said it before after past visits, but it's just so important to me to spend some time with these sweet people.  They keep the memories of my paternal grandfather alive and connect my kids to that branch of the family.  Hearing his voice and watching his mannerisms are bittersweet, as they are so similar to my late grandfather's.  

•    I made it to "the rocks"!  Our first morning there, my mother-in-law and I got out and ran down to the area we call the rocks, which is 6 miles round trip.  It was great to accomplish that on day one and to have her company and uninterrupted conversation time with her.  I ended up getting in four runs on the beach during the week (one with her, two with David, and one solo) and logged 15 miles.  Running alongside the ocean is so therapeutic for me and did my soul serious good.

•   We celebrated Audrey's 6th birthday down there with a little "Beach Birthday Bash."  Everyone came over to our condo (which she had decorated with precious signs) and ate pizza.  After presents and cake, we played Catch Phrase for a minute and then Headbandz.

Quitter

In my last Thankful Thursday post, I alluded to having recently made a decision that I was at complete peace about.  That decision was for me to quit my part-time job.  I will be finished come mid-July and, to be 100% honest, I have discovered that I feel way more relieved than I ever imagined I'd feel.  (And no, the irony that this month's family virtue is "perseverance" is not at all lost on me, but hear me out...)

The internal battle had been going on for quite some time.  I was overwhelmed with all of the hats I was wearing and frequently feeling like I was just not enough.  The company needed someone that could offer more hours and I was barely squeaking out my existing commitment.  I knew that they were repeatedly getting the shaft because I was (rightly so) not willing to work more or put it in front of my other responsibilities.  That tense choice was a constant source of stress.  I was dwelling on and worrying about letting them down nearly as much as I was actually working.  (Hello, my name is Heather Sinyard and I am a perfectionist.)  To have an area of my life that I was consistently giving less than my best was a serious drain.  

The friction got especially tough in May, when both David and I were struggling with full loads.  I reasoned that I couldn't quit during one of the busiest months for me personally.  It wasn't a typical month...of course I had trouble balancing things then.  When the busyness subsided and I still couldn't shake the thought of lightening my load, I started giving my gut a little credibility.  I remember pulling over in a parking lot one afternoon and outlining what my roles and responsibilities were going to be come this August:

Wife
Mother
Daughter
Sister 
Friend
Household Manager (organizer)
Employee
Room Mom for AJ
Room Mom for Luke
PTA Social Media Committee Co-Chair
Co-Small Group Leader
Timber Trek Race Organizer
Runner (another half?)

As if it had a mind of its own, my pen floated to the "employee" line and crossed it off.  I knew what I needed to do.  So, as is my typical MO, I acted immediately...by obsessing over it for several more weeks.  Oh the internal dialogue and pros and cons list that were created in my head!

Eventually, I reached a decision.   All of the reasons I took the job - extra money, something outside of mommyhood, a sense of pride in my work, having something unique to talk about other than the children, offering a different example to the kids by working (which they rarely actually saw me do!) - were no longer enough. I wrestled long and hard about feeling like a quitter (because, as I told David, that's what I was by definition.) It is not in my stubborn nature.  He and others helped me reframe my thinking to the more positive spin of "re-prioritizing." :)

And the truth of the matter is that I was not passionate about doing project management for a web design company.  Sometimes a passion or a call for something can cover a multitude of sins/cons.  (See: drumming up sponsorships for the neighborhood 5K.)  What I AM passionate about is being a good servant for the Lord, wife, mother, volunteer, and friend...all of those other roles that I'd written on my list.  Plus, quite frankly, having time to chat with friends, organize something, blog, read, OR JUST PLAIN CHILL FOR FIVE DADGUM MINUTES while the kids are resting or napping is incredibly appealing.  I mean really.

I do not regret this past year.  It was tough, but I learned a ton and proved to myself that I could do it.  Until I couldn't anymore.  And then I proved to myself that I could make the tough call when I needed to.

Will you please pray for me as I finish out these last couple of weeks and for them as they find a replacement?  These people are more than employers to me...they are sweet friends that have been so supportive and understanding and I want the best for them.  

But in the words of the great philosopher Kenny Rogers, "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run."  (I'm hoping for a little more time and energy for that, too...)

Update #2 on New Year's Resolutions

It's hard to believe that it's already been three months since my last review.  As a refresher, here are the goals I began with this year:

1.  Get in shape.

2.  Read more

3.  Implement the monthly virtue lessons in a book titled "In This House, We Will Giggle" to help teach the kids important things we want to pass on but in a purposeful, fun way.

So how has it been going?  Well, not too bad!  

Goal #1:  Between mid-March and mid-May I lost about twelve pounds and met my desired weight.  As a really cool bonus I learned some valuable lessons in the process.  You see, not a single person said anything about the weight loss.  Twelve pounds is a lot for no one to notice and at first I was a little upset about that until I realized three things:  1) That must mean that I'm getting pretty good at camouflaging extra pounds with my clothing choices 2) As much as I obsess and worry over my appearance when I'm heavier, it doesn't seem to occur to anyone else, least of all my husband and 3)  You absolutely cannot make changes like this for anyone on earth but yourself.  So the weight loss was great, but the take-aways were far more valuable.  Even though I will most likely fluctuate those numbers on the scale again, I really hope the lessons stick.

Goal #2:  Going great!  This quarter I read Nobody's Cuter than You by Melanie Shankle, Momumental by Jennifer Grant, Ketchup is a Vegetable by Robin O'Bryan, and The Happiness Project by Gretchen Ruben.  I even threw in two very large fiction works: Rules of Civility by Amor Towles and All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr.  That's six books, bringing my total to ten for the year.  My goal was approx. one per month with a total of ten, so even if I don't pick up another book (which I will because I have one on my nightstand to start and two on their way from Amazon) I've reached my goal with six months to spare.  SUPER pumped.  (By the way, in case you're curious, most of them were great.  If I had to choose a recommendation from each category, it would be The Happiness Project for non-fiction and All the Light We Cannot See for fiction.)

Goal #3:  Ah, still so-so.  We really did well with this month's virtue, which was "perseverance."  I reckon' I'll just have to draw on that one a little bit to make sure we keep  our focus on this goal these next couple of months.  :)

So there ya have it!  If your resolutions have fallen by the wayside, the start of a new school year is always a great time to turn over a new leaf.  In fact, I just may add one to my own list come August! 

...Okay, that's crazy talk.  I need to go persevere through a new book.