Some of It Gets EasiER

Several years back I exhaustedly vented some parenting frustration on Facebook by posting a status that read "If I can just hold on until they're both in school, I'll get a few hours off"...or something to that effect.  I don't remember the exact circumstances that drove me to look for sympathy on the internets, but I imagine it was desperate.  It probably involved a lot of nursing my then-infant son, attempting to reason with my then-dramatic toddler about going potty, a traveling husband, and very little sleep. 

The comments some people posted left me in tears.  Yes, seriously.  Several older mom friends (I'm talking women that had grown children) jumped on and wrote things like "Oh!  We're supposed to get a day off?! I had no idea!" and  "Yeah, I'm still waiting.  Good luck with that!" and similarly snide comments.  I don't know why it cut me so deep (see previous statement about nursing and exhaustion), but it did.  I was drowning in raising littles and instead of throwing me a lifeline, several women that I trusted to help or at the very least empathize decided to point and laugh.  I quickly deleted the post in an effort to prevent others from jumping on the bandwagon. 

It was my fault, really.  I had turned to the world wide web to seek validation and encouragement instead of praying, talking to my husband, or picking up the phone to call a close friend - all things that most certainly would've had a better outcome.  I'd gotten burned, but it wasn't completely without purpose.  It seared a reminder in my brain to always encourage mothers coming behind me.  (And not that kind of "encouragement" that is often offered by whispering "OH.  Enjoy every minute.  It goes so fast."  Really? EVERY moment? 'Cause I got pooped on this morning.  Should I have savored that?!)

If you've read my blog for any length of time, you know I've always hated that and the "just wait"-type comments.  You know the ones:  "Oh you think it's hard now?!  Just wait until he/she can walk/does sports/drive or turns age 1/6/16."  Those are not helpful and they make you sound like a jerk, so stop it.  

Here's a little secret I'm learning:  This parenting thing?  It never gets easy.  It never lets up.  It never stops.  BUT, parts of it do get a little easiER.  The physical demands lessen and the sleep returns and, one day, you will have five whole minutes to complete a thought or a sentence.  I'm not going to pretend like bon-bons (what are those, anyway?!) and soaps are right around the corner, because keeping up with two kids' school schedules on top of volunteering at both places is no joke (careful there, Heather, you're teetering on the edge of "just wait"...)  BUT every once in a while I can drink an entire cup of coffee before it gets cold.  Of course now I'm navigating the choppy waters of first grade friendships and answering hard faith questions, but at least I can do it with hot coffee in my system.  

So hang in there, young Mama.  I know you're tired and covered in spit-up and can't remember the last time you had a minute to yourself.  I know that it feels like if you have to wipe one more hiney or nose or pile of pbj crumbs off the counter you're going to lose your ever-lovin' mind, but there is coming a day when you will have more time for yourself.  A place where you can see daylight breaking over the top of the trench you've been in for so many years.  Until then, hang on for dear life and call a sitter every once in awhile.  Sooner than you think you'll be able to send your kids out in the backyard for fifteen whole minutes by themselves.  (Just remember:  Sibling fights build relational skills.  Let 'em duke it out.)

And to the older moms that commented on my post that day, if you have grown children and have not managed to take some breaks and time off by now, that is totally and completely on you.  No wonder you're cranky.  Chill out and go get a pedicure and a cup of coffee...and buy one for that young mama in the minivan behind you while you're at it.  

Life Lessons from the Timber Trek

It's been almost three weeks since the Timber Trek and I think I've finally wrapped my head around it being over.  After nearly a year of planning and preparation, it took a while not to wake up every morning and think "What needs to be done for the race today?  Who needs to be emailed/called/coerced/blackmailed into something?"  I've finished up all of the post-race to-dos:  mailing ghost runner t-shirts, selling extra shirts, delivering leftover goodie bag items to the sponsors, putting my pile of papers and notes in some semblance of order...okay, well I haven't done that yet.  But I'm almost finished. 

When I first began mulling over what to write in this post, I imagined it would be a full recap of the entire event from start to finish.  Instead, I realized that while I do want to capture some specific memories of that incredible day, it is more important to me to articulate the lessons I gleaned from the whole experience.  

So first, here are some details that I want to remember:

• The weather was supposed to be rainy and awful.  I had watched the forecast like a hawk all week, but never really freaked out about it.  I prayed and knew that beyond that, there was nothing that could be done.  When I stepped out of the shower around 4:15am the morning of, I heard it pouring outside.  I frustratingly vented to God as I pulled up the weather app on my phone.  It read 5am: 30%, 6am: 30%, 7am: 30%, 8am: 0%.  No joke.  The very start time of the race had a ZERO percent chance.  It was if God was telling me, "I have told you a thousand times that I've got this.  Trust me."  And He did have it.  It sprinkled a bit during set-up and break-down, but not a single drop fell during the races.  Amazing.

• The incredible sense of calm as Sarah (my Fundracers point person) and I drove around the neighborhood in the dark in a golf cart marking the course before dawn.  As we drove, we prayed for the event as we'd done so many times before.  I was excited but calm and in proper "event mode", which can't be attributed to anything but the Holy Spirit's peace.  

• The overall spirit and sense of community was almost palpable.  Watching neighbors introduce themselves to others and strike up conversations and then later cheer one another on was just the neatest!  Beyond raising money and awareness for Street Grace, this was about building community in our neighborhood.  It's cheesy, but I was literally watching my dreams come true.  

• Getting to run the Fun Run with David, Luke, Audrey, and David's parents and having my family cheer on the kids.  Audrey and Luke had been hearing about this for so long and had sacrificed time with me while I worked on it.  They even put in time serving by putting up and taking down signs, making posters, stuffing bags, etc.  Watching it come to fruition through their eyes was just as cool as seeing it myself.  

• Everything ran smoothly, even when it didn't.  There were a few hiccups, but we all rolled with it and everyone kept their cool.  I've done enough events to know this is not something to take for granted.    

• After the race, I received an email from one of the board members who had never been  supportive of the event.  In the note, he congratulated me and complimented how smoothly it went and how clean the areas were post-race.  From him, these were hard-earned nuggets of gold. 

• My friends and family are just amazing.  They are truly the BEST.  Over and over again I was reminded of this.  Sweet friends stayed late with me on Friday night while I was waiting for t-shirts to arrive so we could finish stuffing bags.  Some drove for hours to be a part of it.  Some gave hundreds of dollars.  Some got up at 5am or earlier to come out, point people in the right direction, and cheer because they knew that simple act could help make all the difference to participants.  Professional t-shirt design and photography were possible because of generous friends.  So many prayed.  So many listened and encouraged.  So many believed in this and showed up, ready and willing.  Simply put:  I could not have done this without David and our small group, friends, and family and I will NEVER forget that support.  

And in case you missed me shouting it from the rooftop, here are some stats from the race:

• Over 100 people came out to participate in the 5k and Fun Run

• $2,500 was raised for Street Grace

• 30+ volunteers came out to stuff bags, set-up, check-in registrants, cheer and guide participants, provide music and sound, hand out water and bananas, break-down, and clean up

• 20 businesses sponsored the race

And finally, the Top 5 Life Lessons I learned from putting on a 5k:

1)  A courteous and prompt "no" is almost as nice as a "yes."  I learned this from asking 50+ businesses for sponsorships.  If they couldn't/wouldn't do it, the next best thing was respecting me enough to tell me quickly so I could move on and not waste my time with 2-3 follow-ups.  In fact, I found myself nearly hugging several business owners after they'd just flat out said no.  I now try to take that respect into consideration when I know I have to turn others down!

2)  Don't assume.  (You know what they say about that.)  People you thought would be a sure thing may not be and those you almost didn't approach could come through in a huge way.  You'll never know if you don't ask.

3)  God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.  Cliche?  Yes. But OH so true.  And if you are operating under your calling, WHEN (not if) adversity crops up, it's a lot easier to deal with.  Not easy, mind you, but easiER.

4)  Keeping calm really does make all the difference.  In event planning, as in life, things are going to go wrong.  Something will happen, whether big or small.  You can do everything in your power to plan, prep for, and attempt to prevent this, but when it does occur, your attitude about it is everything.  As a leader - be it in the home or elsewhere - that attitude is contagious.  If I had freaked that the music was late or complained about a screw-up, the entire tone of the event could have been very different.  You don't have to be flippant, but you do need to stay positive and in calm control of the situation if you want the outcome to be the best it can be.  (If only I could remember this when my three year old loses his ever lovin' mind over a missing acorn.)  

5)  Celebrate the heck out of a victory.  I mean really milk the thing for all it's worth.  One of the very best lessons I learned from my grandmother was to "work hard, play hard."  I built in several big and small celebrations months in advance so I could look forward to them and to ease the post-event funk.  The older I get, the more I realize how important it is to stop, celebrate, and reflect on the awesomeness of a big accomplishment before just plowing ahead to the next goal.  Taking that down time gives you pause to appropriately thank God and others as well as giving you a chance to refuel yourself. 

So that's it.  That's the gist of the day plus what I learned from the whole experience.

I don't know if there will be a second one next year (hint: probably).  Even if this was a one-time deal, however, I am so glad I said yes to God's calling.  It was not easy and was often met with hurdles and push-back from our HOA board.  Even when they finally came around, I had sponsors let me down and registrations were so slow that I wondered if anyone would show up.  And yet, people came through and numbers rolled in last minute just as everyone told me they would.  

God was faithful time and time again and showed up in a bigger way than I could have ever imagined.  And just in case I didn't express it enough, there is no way I could've done this without my family, friends, small group, and neighbors.  I keep trying to put it into words, but I know I'm falling short.  The bottom line is that I am grateful and forever changed by the experience!

My awesome small group presented this to me the week after the race.  Aren't they just the sweetest?!  It was so thoughtful and meant a great deal.  
There may have been some choking up...it was all David, though.  

September 2015 Recap

September was the month of the Timber Trek.  Unfortunately, seeing as the world STILL hasn't decided to revolve around my family and our schedule, it was also the month of Audrey's major school fundraiser, Luke starting preschool, and more than a few meetings and appointments.  Let's just dive in, shall we?

Let's start with the fundraiser, which is NO JOKE in these parts.  Since I'm on the PTA Board, they asked us to play a pretty heavy role.  I counted money (by the way, the piggy bank contributions are super cute...until you're the one counting 183 pennies by hand), made signs, communicated with class parents, and helped set up, cheer on, and tear down the grand finale "Bull Run" ceremony.  It sounds like a lot, but it really only added up to about 5-6 hours of volunteering.  Basically I did as little as I could without getting kicked off the board.  (No, they wouldn't have really done that.  I don't think...)  I had to say no a lot because of everything I was doing with the Timber Trek.  And yet, no one died and the show went on.  Not only that, but the school raised $14,000 OVER their goal of $40k.  Powerful lesson learned:  Prioritize, do what you can, and don't feel guilty.

The first Saturday of the month, we sent the kids over to David's parents and had a fun date.  I had run 10 miles that morning so when we were planning and David suggested hiking or kayaking, I wasn't too enthusiastic about those ideas.  He, on the other hand, was pretty bored with my vote of lying around and ordering some pizza from a place we used to frequent that doesn't offer GF options.  We compromised and decided to drop the kids off and head up to Dahlonega.  We ate some delicious  BBQ on the square and then went tubing on the Chestatee River.  Tubing was a first for both of us and it was pretty fun!  You get to see the beautiful scenery that you do when kayaking, but without all the work.  We went down the river, got out and took a short walk back to the start, and did it again.  The water was chilly, but not as chilly as the Hooch (or as filled with E. Coli).  Afterward, we drove home, ordered pizza, and finished out the West Wing TV series we started in January.  Perfect compromise.

On Labor Day we drove out to my dad and stepmom's house and joined my brother, SIL, and nephews there.  We spent the morning hanging out and watching the cousins run around the backyard before eating lunch and heading home.  The next morning, Luke started PRESCHOOL!  How is that possible?!  I remember Audrey seeming so old when she started, but he seems so young!  That's the power of time-passed perspective, I guess.  The school allows the parents to go with them on the first morning and hang out for the first hour, so David and I walked him in together.  When it came time for us to leave, Luke was completely fine.  I was the one insisting we read just one more book.  David guided me out before I made a fool of myself and I held it together until the parking lot.  

Thursday, however, was much worse.  They let parents walk them in and drop them off on the second day and then carpool starts the second week (this is really a flawed plan on many levels, but they didn't ask me.)  Though he had a great first day, he did not want to go and had been crying off and on all morning.  I walked him in and he clung to me, tears silently streaming down his cheeks.  Just outside of his room he begged me to hold him and lo and behold, the tears started flowing from me.  Great.  I broke one of the covenant rules of motherhood:  You do not cry when leaving.  Especially if they are crying!  I walked in the class and the lead teacher (whom AJ had and I adore) took one look at us and scooped him up.  Another mom that I didn't know pulled me into a hug.  Sweet, but not helping me stop the tears, honey.  She set Luke down and he pulled my ear to him and whispered bravely through choked-back sobs, "Can you sit with me for just one minute, Mommy?"  I tried to keep him from seeing my face as we played alphabet alligators for a second.  He got into it within two minutes and was totally fine, so I made a quick break for it.  I called a couple of girlfriends and blubbered to them before distracting myself with a lovely dentist appointment.  When I got out, I checked my email and found a note from his amazing teacher assuring me that he was just fine.  God bless her.  From that day on, he did totally fine and has loved school, thank the Lord.  

What else this month?  

• Our small group started back.  With the exception of one new couple, it's the same group we've met with for the previous two semesters.  It's become such a great little community and it's so nice to have a room full of people that truly get your stage of life because they're in it too!

• Audrey started attending the "Good News Club" after school on Mondays (a Christian-based club sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.  The children's pastor I used to be on staff with now runs the Georgia chapter.  He's good people.)  

• She had a check-up (yeah, that would be her six year that should've been in June) and got a good report.

• I had a dentist appointment and a dermatologist check-up and got a good report at both.  That rounds out my catch-up-on-doc-appointments flurry and I am officially clear of that until February, thank goodness.  

• I met Lara Lynn for a loooooong overdue dinner and it was so good to catch up I cannot even tell you.  We have already scheduled a dinner for early November and are really, really, really going to try to do bi-monthly dinners together, which works out great so maybe I can do the same with Lauren on the in-between months.  

• Both kids had school pictures.  Nothing like pressure to pick a perfect outfit and have a good hair day. 

• Audrey took her first standardized test.  She wasn't nervous at all, which is good since she'll have approx. 1 million more before graduating.  

• David went to D.C. for one night.  

• I had a room mom meeting for both Luke's class and Audrey's class.  Neither was overwhelming.  I'm sure I'll feel differently come the second week of December, but for now it feels manageable. 

• I got to chaperone my first elementary school field trip (AJ's to Fernbank) and I didn't lose a single kid!

• The kids had two birthday parties they attended for friends and had a blast!  Audrey's was especially cool because it was one of her closest little classmates and they went to Whole Foods kitchen and had a cooking party.  The best part?  This friend is gluten-free too so everything was safe for her.  So cool.  :)

I think that's pretty much the gist of the month.  

Oh yeah, except for that tiny thing called the Timber Trek.  Nearly a year in the making (I met with the board last October to propose the event and get their approval), we finally saw it to fruition this month.  It's been two weeks and I still don't think it's set in that it happened.  I will write a detailed post about it, but in short, it was a success.  Over 100 people came out in the drizzly early morning hours to participate and $2,500 was raised from race proceeds, direct donations, and post-race t-shirt sales.  AMAZING.  

More to come soon, I hope.  Happy Fall, Y'all!

Thankful Thursday

I am still in complete shock that the Timber Trek happened last weekend and it'll take me quite some time to process it, but let me just tell you that it was a big success and a post IS in the works.  Until then, here is a long overdue Thankful Thursday post:

1.  Some chill time.  I feel like I have been on a treadmill that's set a smidge too high for at least the past 13-14 months.  I worked part time for nearly a year, which took up almost all of my down time, and then I went straight from that into hardcore Timber Trek work.  I am catching my breath for the first time in quite a while and it feel glorious.  

2.  That today is October 1st.  I have always loved October.  School routines are settled in, temperatures cool off, beautiful colors surround us, and, towards the end of the month, adorable kids in customs get guilt-free candy and the excitement and anticipation of the holidays is on the horizon (without the stress and busyness that they also bring).  It's just a fantastic month and I'm thrilled it's here.

3.  A date with my husband on a weekday!  David called me today and asked if I wanted to meet for lunch.  It took me a minute before I realized that Yes! Yes I COULD!  I didn't have any pressing work to get done and I didn't have to pick up Luke until about 12:45pm.  So we had a date in the middle of the day on a Thursday!  So spontaneous and unusual that it almost felt scandalous!

4.  Elementary school field trips.  I got to chaperone Audrey's first one (to Fernbank) yesterday and had so much fun.  Okay, I counted heads a lot and worried so much over sending the boys into a men's room alone that I probably made the teachers leery of my lingering.  But, aside from that, it was really cool to get to be a part of it with her and she loved it!

5.  My sweet friend Emily's PET scan results came back and her breast cancer has not spread!!!  Thank you, Jesus!

Let's hope I make it by here more often...but if not, know that it's because I'm working on something that's been neglected since July 2014.