March 2015 Recap

Well, this month started with an endoscopy and ended with a kindergarten spring musical.  If that doesn't just sum up the emotion of the whole month, I don't know what does. 

Of course, if I was content with leaving it at that, I wouldn't have a blog.  Here's the scoop in more detail:

Celiac Update:  Audrey is doing amazingly well with all of the diet changes.  She even handled her first birthday party experiences with her own cupcake in tow and did fine.  I am doing pretty good with the shift in shopping/cooking.  The first few weeks I just attempted to adjust our usual recipes and now I'm branching out and trying new things.  

Using Pinterest and Whole Foods as resources overwhelmed me and I steered clear for awhile, but I've tackled both now.  (And, may I just say, I felt like a complete foreigner walking into Whole Foods.  A lot of my judgmental stereotypes held strong as I walked around feeling completely out of place without my yoga pants on or my face makeup-free or my hair in a messy bun.  And is it necessary to have that weird-smelling essential oil diffuser pumping throughout the store?  It may help improve my brain function, but it stinks!  To my credit, I've come a long way with this health-shift, but, alas, I have a ways to go...)  

Anyway, some recipes are hits, some are not, but as I told David, she didn't love everything we ate for dinner pre-Celiac diagnosis, so it's not a requirement that she do so now.  We've found great cereals, pastas, crackers, and sandwich bread, but tasty bagels, hamburger/hotdog buns, and waffles still allude us.  There are more brands out there to try, though, so we haven't given up the quest yet.    

I met with a nutritionist and got another level of education.  Like anything else, when I think too far out, I get overwhelmed.  The "she'll have to do this f-o-r-e-v-e-r" thought makes me tear up every time.  I just try to handle one week of meal planning at a time and, eventually, those will add up to months of this way of life and it will be her/our new normal.  I keep reminding myself that it really is a healthier diet.  It's going to prevent her from going to college because of the cost, but it's healthier.  

Potty Training Update:  Luke has been clearing his own hurdles like a champ.  In addition to tackling the food changes with the rest of us, he's been conquering the potty.  In a completely unexpected turn of events, he took about four days to become officially potty trained.  On the second Saturday of the month, we began the "bootcamp" method, put him in underwear, and stayed home for about 5-6 days in a row to hit it hard.  He had approximately five or six accidents the first two days, but by the end of day three, the worst was over.  We have to take it to another level and make him go completely on his own on a big potty (we help him with his pants and he uses a small kid one right now), but we have until September to get there, so I'm hopeful.  He's done such an amazing job and I'm so grateful it wasn't a battle this go-round.  Let that be a lesson to you first-time mamas:  When the timing is right, it's right.  DO NOT FORCE IT.  They'll be ready when they're ready and not a second before.  David said he was talking to a friend at work who has one 18 month old and raised his eyebrows in surprise when David said we were just now potty training Luke.  Yeah, I knew a lot about parenting when I had one 18 month old, too.  

Other News (because, amazingly, life still goes on in the midst of bowel changes):

• David and I had our health screenings for insurance and, though my weight is still higher than I'd like, the rest of my numbers looked really good.  And not that I would ever turn it into a competition, but I creamed D on, well, everything.  Which would be more satisfying if the stakes weren't so high.  I mean, what's the "prize" here?  I outlast him?  NOT an option.  So instead, I just signed us both up for a 10K and use it as an excuse to nag him about running.  

• We had Teacher Appreciation Week, which I wrote about here.  

• We had my niece's birthday party at a pottery painting place in Cobb.  It was so nice to get to celebrate with her since they live in Savannah and usually do a party down there.  

• Audrey rode her first horse while at a friend's birthday party.  I was so proud of her for being brave and giving it a try.  She was super nervous, but she went for it anyway - twice, actually!  It was also great when Luke decided to throw a stick at the ground because he was made at Audrey and it narrowly missed one of the mom's feet.  Yes son, make sure a bunch of parents I barely know are gathered around when you decide to act like a three year old boy, please.

• Audrey had a spring musical at her school and it was darling.  The kindergarten classes stood on risers in the school cafeteria and sang about 7 or 8 songs.  As usual, she was very nervous about it, but got up there and sang every word.  (She didn't, however, do most of the motions.  When I asked her about it she said, "I was doing well with the words and just really didn't want to add anything else."  I hear ya, sister.  Know your limits.)  When we finally made our way to her in the crowded hall afterward, she jumped up into my arms and squeezed my neck as hard as she could.  Oh, that level of being loved...and that lack of embarrassment about needing your mama.  Precious.  We celebrated her spring debut with dinner and dessert at Chick-fil-A.  

We had a couple of other play dates and such, but nothing too exciting.  This month was mostly about adjusting to change - new diets, new skills, and new weather - and I'm really proud of my people and how they're doing!  

Maybe one day I'll get caught up on the Picasa albums, but until then, you can view the March photos here, even if you don't have a FB account.  

Hope your April is off to a good start!  

Potty School Drop-Outs

Confession time:  As of Monday morning at 7:17am, we are potty school drop-outs.  Failures.  Quitters.  Wimps.  

I did not reach this monumental decision lightly.  Here's a sample of my "conversation" with others on the matter (a.k.a. emotional tirade that I made my husband, several friends and family, and the Good Lord above listen to):

"But potty training feels like a BIG thing!  It feels like a 'if-I-screw-this-up-he-will-be-living-in-our-basement-when-he's-forty" kinda thing!  How can I do this to him?  How can I say, either literally or figuratively, 'Buddy, you're terrible at this' and take that shot at his little self-esteem?!  He will be scarred forever.  I can almost hear the collective sigh of all the child psychologists in the world shaming me.  He will never recover from this punch in the gut and will always hold it against me."

Thankfully, I have learned two things important things:  1)  I have a tendency to overreact.  2)  I have learned to surround myself with people that don't. 

One dear friend in particular reminded me that Luke is an old-soul, intelligent two year old that is perfectly capable of having a conversation about the topic.  She also convinced me that being two, he will believe whatever I tell him to believe.  

Feeling better, but still not quite ready to throw in the towel, we decided to try for a few more days.  We purchased a Fisher Price potty (and would've been better off just flushing $30 down the real toilet.)  We upped the ante on rewards.  We gushed praises and gently admonished.  Nada.  I mean nothing in the potty for SIX days.  I think part of the problem was a tough bout with constipation that left him a little scared.  Whatever the reason, I knew it was time to either ratchet it way up and do the 3-4 day underwear/bootcamp method (that I honestly didn't think would work) or...quit for now.  We had a decision to make.  And pardon the horrible pun, but it was time to poop or get off the pot.

I decided to ask Luke.  Here's how it went down:

Me:  "Luke, let's talk about potty training.  How do you think it's going?"

Luke:  "NOT good."

Me:  "Yeah, it's a really, really tough thing to learn isn't it?  I am so proud of you for trying! Would you like to take a break for a little while and try again after you turn three?"

Luke:  "YES.  We should do that.  That's a really good idea."  (No joke.  His words.)

I don't ask my kids for their input on a lot of big decisions.  I give them little choices throughout the day so they learn how to decide and think for themselves, but we are unashamedly a dictatorship about the major things.  Nonetheless, this just felt right to ask about.  I misread his cues and I wanted to go back, but I wanted to know how he felt.  Turns out he felt he misjudged the situation a little too.  

The first-time Mama in me would've dogmatically continued on, in part to avoid admitting my mistake to my child or others and in part to show my kid that Sinyards are NOT quitters. 

...Except when we are.  Except when it's right to quit.  Sometimes being a good mom is about pushing and encouraging and cheering when your child wants with every fiber of their being to stop.  So much of motherhood is about making them do the right thing, even when they don't want to.  It's days upon days of nagging as positively as possible and sometimes annoying yourself at your unrelenting reminders to just. keep. it. up.  

But sometimes?  Sometimes motherhood needs to be about stepping back and saying "Hey. Let's reevaluate this together."  It's remembering to take a breath and then look at the big picture for a minute.  It's about chilling the heck out for everyone's sakes.  

The second-time Mama in me knows better.  I was wrong.  It's not the right time.  He will get this, but not now.  We have too much on our collective family plate and he's not ready.  AND THAT'S OKAY.  He will be fine.  

I have never felt happier about failing something in my life.  I pray this lesson sticks with me as we navigate deeper into this never-a-dull-moment parenting journey.  Quitters DO win sometimes.  

P.S.  If you see Luke in high school and he's wearing Depends, turns out we should've stuck with it.  

It's Potty Time!

*Warning:  This posts contains words like pee-pee, poo-poo, underwear, and potty.  Proceed with caution.*


This past Saturday kicked off an important undertaking in our household:  the beginning of the end of diapers.  That's right, we decided to start potty training our two year old.  I'd read several articles/e-books, researched some methods, and talked to her pediatrician and our friends trying to glean every bit of good advice I could.  While we had occasionally mentioned it here and there, we'd never explained it much to Audrey nor had she ever even sat on a potty before.  We began talking it up on Wednesday and read her a couple of books I bought on the subject.  On Friday, she and I took a special girls' trip to the mall to pick out some big girl underwear.  We told everyone who would listen - friends, family, and complete strangers alike - that starting on Saturday, Audrey was going to get to use the potty!  I let her come home and watch her new Elmo's potty time DVD.  She was excited, we were half excited, half dreading it.  But what choice do you have?  It's gotta happen sometime.  I'm not going to let my kid be the one that smells like pee-pee in first grade because they haven't gotten it down yet.  Or maybe that'll be just the motivation she needs.  Who knows.


SO, bright and early Saturday morning I woke up and drove to get David and me some good breakfast from our favorite local spot.  I figured we'd need the carbs and the treat for ourselves.  After we ate, we went in her room to get her up.  We explained that today was her big day and described all the cool stuff that was going to come along with it.  She ate breakfast and then we went upstairs to show her the "Potty Party" decorations we'd put up in her bathroom.  We let her open a present: a drink and wet doll named Annie.  We showed her how it worked and then immediately started clapping and making a big deal when Annie went pee-pee on her potty.  No doubt Audrey thought we were nuts, but she quietly took it all in.  We asked if she wanted to try to go potty on her new potty seat.  She said she did, so we took off her diaper and sat her down.  Almost immediately, she went pee-pee and we clapped and cheered like crazy, which embarrassed her nearly to the point of tears.  We settled down, went over the wiping, flushing, and hand washing routine and let her put a sticker on her sticker rewards chart.  Then we let her choose and put on a pair of her big girl underwear.  We'd read a lot about the bare bottom method, but decided we'd start off trying underwear, especially since we were expecting some company that weekend.  I thought maybe the incentive of keeping her new britches dry would help.  


We settled in for some serious play time.  Part of this method is that you stay home for three days and are basically glued to your child so you can catch them in the middle of accidents and whisk them to the potty.  Another thing I'd read that we were trying was to get her to tell us when she needed to go instead of taking her on a set schedule.  You're supposed to say, "Tell us when you need to go potty, okay?" one hundred times a day for the first three days.  (Talk about being a nag.)  The idea behind it is that the child likes to be in control, and that way it puts the responsibility on them to let you know.  Of course, this makes for a lot of accidents at first (18-20 that first day, in fact), but as they learn to hold it, it gets much better.  When she did have an accident, we'd say "Yuck, your underwear is wet now.  You have to tell us before you go pee-pee in your underwear, honey" or "Pee-pee belongs in the potty, Audrey" or something to that effect.  Never did we scold or shame her and we didn't have her help us clean up, mainly because there were only three to four times I can recall that the floor even got wet.


We also liked giving her "Pop Quizzes" and asking her if she was dry so we could use the opportunity to praise her and to make her aware.  We called a few family members to brag to them about her achievements, though she didn't seem as into that as I thought she'd be.  And, of course, there was the sticker rewards chart.  Truthfully, though, she grew tired of that by the end of day one and we moved on to letting her choose one M&M every time she went.  It worked wonders.  Like me, she's motivated by chocolate.  


At first she'd go a little, hold it in and tell us, and then have trouble letting it go when we got her to the potty.  Running the faucet and reading a book usually helped distract her enough until she relaxed again.  She even pooped in the potty on day one with no problem because I think she was so wrapped up in the book we were reading.  


By day two, she was down to 8-10 accidents and on day three, only 4-5.  Of course, I was taking her a little more without her saying she needed to on day three, but I was proud of her for how well she could hold it!  If it had been awhile and I knew she just didn't want to stop what she was doing, I'd explain we needed a quick break and off we'd go.  I'm not sure how that's going to work down the road when she's in the care of someone else, but it's working for us now.  I'd call going from 20 to 10 to 5 accidents definite success.  If I have to remind her to tell me/ask her five times an hour and then make her go try occasionally, then I'm good with that for now.    


On day four, we even ventured out to the library and the grocery store, meaning we had to deal with public restrooms for the first time.  She had one damp accident at the library because she started before she told me she needed to go (almost always the case at this point), but she did a great job in both public potties and we were SO excited to be out of the house.


So, we're not home free yet, but we're getting there.  We still keep her in diapers and naps and night, despite what one author recommended.  Granted, her one suggestion if your kid always wakes up with a wet diaper was to go wake her and take her an hour after she went to bed and then wake her up an hour earlier in the morning to take her.  Um, no thanks.  Clearly that lady does not value sleep as much as I do.  Until we put Audrey in her toddler bed (the next big task?!), we're keeping her in diapers.  I have no doubt that she's smart enough to understand my explanation of diapers being for sleep time and underwear being for awake time.


We're so proud of big girl and how quickly she's picking this up.  It's a hard thing to learn, no doubt and she's been amazing.  Of course, we're also a little proud of ourselves for keeping our sanity.  I won't lie, it's been a long, tough three days of being stuck indoors and on constant vigil.  I started annoying myself with how much talk and questions about potty there was coming out of my mouth.  I have given new meaning to the term potty mouth!  Ha!


I sent David a message today that read: I'm on day three of being stuck in the house potty training our daughter and I'm feeling a little abandoned today.  I know, I know.  You had to go to work so we can pay the bills, eat, and afford other such frivolities.  All I ask is that you not judge me for the amount of chocolate I've consumed today, which may or may not have included some of her reward M&Ms. HURRY. HOME.  


His reply:  I think a thorough quality control sampling of the reward M&Ms is very responsible parenting.


At least one person in this house is trained well. ;)  


After we cross the potty training finish line, I think we'll use some of the money we're saving from diapers and have a serious date night out.  What do you want to bet it takes me half the evening before I quit telling David to let me know when he needs to go?!