Delayed Obedience

Years ago, my sweet friend LL used a phrase that has stuck with me.  She was explaining a problem she was having getting her daughter to listen and exasperatedly said, "Delayed obedience is disobedience!"  I now incorporate that concept into my own parenting multiple times a day as I snap my fingers at Luke and say "Immediate obedience, Buddy!"  It goes much deeper than the desire not to have to repeat myself, though that's definitely part of it.  My goal in training him to immediately do what I tell him to could very well be the thing that saves his life or keeps him from getting hurt.  It may be what stops him from running out into the street or walking behind a car backing up in the parking lot or tripping into a hole he can't see at the park.  I need him to hear my voice and do what I'm asking him to do at that very moment.  Delayed obedience = disobedience.

But, OH, how it's so very different when the parent-child relationship we're talking about is between God and us, amiright?  And let's be honest, it's not often a matter of life or death...as far as we know, anyway.  

Which brings me to what I want to share - my story of my most recent episode of delayed obedience.  Months ago (and if I'm honest, it was actually months and months ago), God started stirring something in me.  He was calling me to step up and do something big and specific.  It began in church one Sunday morning when the band played the song "Oceans" by Hillsong. 

If you haven't heard the beautiful, moving words, take a moment now to listen...I'll wait. (C'mon...immediate obedience!)  



As I stood there listening, I felt that God was asking me to organize a 5K in our neighborhood (not so crazy) to benefit a charity that fights human/sex trafficking in Atlanta (um, WHAT?!)  I had no direct experience with such an organization, I had no ties to the cause, and I had NO idea where to begin.  It came out of left field, which in my experience is often the first clue to me that it is from the Lord.  So what did I do?  Well naturally, I did the only logical thing I could think of:  I ignored it completely.  

Given the other "noise" and busyness in my life, ignoring it was actually not that difficult to do.  I'd forget about it during the week, but without fail that nudging would return on Sunday morning, especially when I heard that song again.  

"Okay, Lord, you want me to serve?  I'll lead a small group.  That's good enough, right?"  (There.  That should placate him for a while.)

No?   "But Gooooood (in the whiniest of whiney voices like my children use), I'm so busy.  Maybe in another season of life when things get calmer."  (I think I actually heard His audible laughter at the idea of that.)

And the list went on:  I don't wanna.  I can't.  Someone else will.  Later.  What if it flops?  They don't need my help.  What if I mess something up?  This is crazy.  Why me?  And the real mother-of-all reasons behind the others:  I'm SCARED.  

But one of my most favorite characteristics about our God is His patience when it comes to His children.  Unlike me when one of my kids doesn't obey, He never "snapped" or "lost it".  He never called down fire on my head.  When I think about it, He never even made me feel guilty.  He just waited, knowing that I was the one robbing myself of the blessing of obedience.  

As time passed, one part of the song kept echoing in my mind:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when I sat in another service at church.  This one was on the book of James and the main point was "Faith without works is dead."  Finally, I heard my "reasons" as the excuses they were.  I could keep ignoring Him or I could (wo)man up and do what God was calling me to do.  

I finally chose to step out of the boat.

The next day I emailed our HOA board.  Two days later, I spent an hour on the phone with a guy in the area that organizes races to figure out what was involved in putting on a 5K.  Less than a week after that call, I put together an official proposal and sent it off to the HOA board to review.  Obedience was in motion, and the weight that was lifted was incredible.  Make no mistake, I waited entirely too long, but fortunately for me, God was willing to wait too. 

So the wheels are in motion.  After talking to the race organizer, I really feel like I need to partner with him to help with the work, at least for this first race.  Perhaps if it becomes an annual tradition I can continue from his blueprint, but there is a ton for me to do even with his assistance.  When Satan's false guilt began to creep in about that and made me doubt whether it's all even worth it given the amount of money it would raise (getting $2,000 from this size/type of event would be considered fantastic), I started struggling.  My husband and a couple of sweet friends spoke encouraging words of confirmation and so I'm pressing on.  Whatever amount raised will be more than they had the day before and God can do incredible things with so much less than we think.  (See 2 fish and 5 loaves story.)

I am sure that there will be multiple moments of doubt in this process, but I pray God will continue to urge me forward regardless.  After all, the extremely freeing part about obeying Him is that you are not responsible for the outcome.  Don't miss that, y'all:  YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE OUTCOME.  Ahhhh, the relief!  

I am working on doing what He asked and I'm going to give it my best.  But the board's approval, the participation, the money raised, even the weather - all of that is on Him.  Of course I want it to go well, but I have this unusual peace in just focusing on my part.  

That being said, I would so appreciate your prayers and support right now as I wait to hear back from the HOA.  If they give me the green light, we'll jump in head-first to get something together by the spring.  I should get an answer in the next couple of weeks, so stay tuned.

In the meantime, I want to close with a word of encouragement:  If there is something - big or small - that God is calling you to do, please do it.  Delayed obedience equals disobedience.  Better late than never holds true for me this time, but I know that's not always the case.  There is such sweet reward in submitting to God.  Great cost and often a lot of work, yes, but y'all, there is such sweet reward.