Enough is Enough

This week I have decided that I am finally going to heed the advice of my family and mommy-friends and chill the heck out. Since I quit work in April, I have taken on countless organization, financial, and cleaning projects in preparation for our upcoming arrival.

I have created excel spreadsheets and endless to-do lists to track these assignments, making it my full-time job. I have attacked them with all the intensity a pregnant OCD business major can muster, which was sometimes impressive and sometimes laughable. When people ask if I'm bored being at home, I try not to laugh uncontrollably, mainly because the ol' pregnant bladder ain't what it used to be. I usually shrug them off while thinking it would be nice to go back to work so I could catch a break!

I have steam-cleaned and washed and windexed and sorted and vacuumed and dry-cleaned. I have scrubbed and organized and dusted and disinfected. Of course, we've also enjoyed lots of lunches and dinners with friends. We had a great "Babymoon" in Hilton Head for a few days. There have been plenty of evening walks with just the two of us, time spent cooking dinner together, and even a couple of weekend afternoons spent by the pool. But, there has mainly been financial/estate planning and shopping and errand running and Goodwill trips galore. Etc. Etc. Etc. At times, I have astounded even David with these tasks, who has known me for over ten years and should be used to my insanity by now.

The truth is, a lot of the busy work has been a façade. It doesn't take a psychologist to figure out that most of what I've been doing is an attempt at avoidance. Sure, there has been a lot of hormonal nesting. And of course I want to be as prepared as possible because I know how busy our days are about to become. We really did need to get some financial stuff in order and clean out a few closets. And who has the time or energy to do that with a newborn? But did every window screen and sill need scrubbed or the mattress vacuumed? Did the recipes in the recipe box need to be rewritten and laminated or all of the throw pillows dryeled? (Stop laughing, I'm totally serious.) No, they probably did not.

The bottom line is that the busier I stay, the less time I have to think about the fact that our world is about to drastically change. I am a planner and a control-freak, so since I know I'm about to do very little of either, I chose to spend the last few months getting as much of our household under control as I possibly could.

Well, it ends here. I am making a commitment that in the time I have left before she arrives, I am going to be a total bum. Now, let me confess that I do have a just a few short errands to run and that I will do some touch-up cleaning this weekend. BUT, for the most part, the work is over. I am going to sleep in. If I can't sleep in, I'm going to at least lay in bed for awhile. I am going to watch an insane amount of mindless television. I am going to read books and magazines that don't have a single thing to do with babies or parenting. I will treat myself to a haircut and a pedicure. I will cut back on cooking and refuse to organize anything else. I will take afternoon naps. I will lay out by the pool for the twenty minutes that I can stand the heat. When David comes home, we will lounge and talk and read and play Rock Band and enjoy each other's company. We may even go out for ice cream one night. Or two nights.

I'm also commiting myself to spending a lot of time getting into the Word and praying. I'm learning that when it comes down to it, there really is very little you can do to prepare for parenthood. We've taken the classes and read the books, but at some point, you have to give it up and realize that you're about to receive an amazing blessing that ultimately does not belong to you. We'll be in charge of and accountable for Baby Girl, but we will not be able to protect her from everything and everyone. We will make mistakes. It's heartbreaking, but it's true. No matter how many excel spreadsheets I whip up, I will not be able to control everything.

So until her arrival, above all else, I am going to rest in the One who supplies all of my needs. The One that will supply all of Baby Girl's needs. I will pray for and read about His guidance, strength, and wisdom as we embark on this chaotic new journey. I am going to spend time enjoying His sweet grace and take time out to thank Him for all He has done and all He will continue to do.

Enough is enough. It's time to be still. It's in His hands now. In reality, it has always been in His hands...and that's a very good thing.

"'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.' The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress." Psalm 46:10-11

SO, What Have You Been Up To?

Since I quit work, I have been getting that question constantly. I don’t think the people asking mean anything negative or judgmental by it, but I do think they’re envisioning a lot of Oprah and bon-bons. (Which, by the way, I’ve never eaten. I actually have no idea what they are. Chocolate candies, I guess? Anyway, I digress…)

I just politely answer that I’ve been catching up on some projects. If they know me well, they immediately understand. If they don’t know me that well, they just nod and smile with visions of bon-bons dancing in their heads. So, for those people and for my own personal satisfaction and sense of accomplishment, here is a list of what I’ve done in the past 8 days:

• Took down all the window screens and scrubbed them with comet. I washed all the windows inside and out and scrubbed every sill spotless. Seriously, feel free to come eat off my window sills. Total time: 10-12 hours over 3 days. No joke. It was ridiculous. Next year we’re hiring someone.

• Wrote and mailed 15 thank you notes from my last baby shower. Total time: 2 hours

• Reorganized the kitchen cabinets, drawers, and pantry to make room for bottles, baby food, etc. Took a box full of stuff to Goodwill. That always makes me happy. Total time: 3 hours

• Removed the shelf liner from all of the kitchen cabinets and drawers, scraped off the residue of the old contact paper, cleaned each and every cranny, and relined the shelves and drawers with new liner. Total time: 10 hours over 2 days, not including the time it took to make three trips to Walmart for more shelf liner. I’m not planning on doing this again while we live in this house, I don’t care if it needs it or not.
  
  
• Took apart, cleaned, spray painted countless coats onto, and reassembled all of our outdoor light fixtures. (David did the actual taking down and putting up, being the electrical engineer and all.) Total time: 2.5 hours
  
  
• Researched and created a birth plan. I’ll spare you the details, but the hardest and most time-consuming part was keeping it to one page (I do want them to actually read the thing.) Total time: 2 hours
  
  
• Straightened up the garage. More tossing of junk. We did a major cleaning out last spring, so it wasn’t too bad, but it did need a touch-up. Total time: 2.5 hours
  
  
• Put together a Family Emergency Kit based on http://www.ready.gov/ recommendation. Yes, I realize this makes me a huge dork. Whatever…at least I’m prepared. Including shopping for supplies at several stores and typing up all of our insurance/financial information in one document, Total Time: 3 hours
  
  
• Put away the latest shower gifts and straightened/organized the nursery. Total time: 2 hours
  
  
• Cleaned out all of our paper files and shredded a trash bag and a half full of old financial documents and receipts. Created files and folders for new stuff. Total time: 4 hours
  
  
• Cleaned out my car, put stuff where it belonged, and threw away unrecognizable fast food crumbs and bank receipts. Total time: 1 hour

There you have it: 42 hours of projects in 8 days. Of course, this list doesn’t include trips to the grocery store, bank, doctor’s office, or dry cleaners. Nor does it count the hours spent couponing, cooking, cleaning, paying bills, and doing laundry. I would guess I’ve had at least a 55 hour work week. I’ve always been a bit OCD, but I think pregnancy “nesting” has thrown me into over-drive.

So, sure, I’ve caught up on some TV. But mostly I’ve been doing projects. I think I’m ready to go back to work so I can catch my breath. Of course, I know it’s not going to slow down when Baby Girl gets here. That’s the main reason I’m trying to get this stuff finished and out of the way! Now off to tackle the master bathroom cabinets and drawers and then to the grocery store…maybe I’ll get me some bon-bons.