Surprises

Several things have taken me by surprise these last few weeks and I wanted to journal them.  It's a completely random list and didn't seem to fit in a TT or any other post, so forgive the crude bullet points and lack of cohesion.  This post will probably fall into the category of "more-for-me-than-you."


Things I didn't expect:

• The amount of laundry.  It is insane.  I do at least two loads a day.  How can such tiny clothes make our laundry load increase by so much?!

• How desperate I am to get my body back in shape.  Post-pregnancy with Audrey, I don't recall being in a huge hurry to get back in shape.  In fact, I'm pretty sure I didn't do very much in the way of watching what I ate until she was nearly six months old.  I walked a bit here and there, but serious exercise didn't come until later too.  Now, however, I am chomping at the bit to run.  Maybe it's the weather?  Maybe it's knowing I'm done with pregnancies and am on my way back to my body being mine again?  Maybe it's the overwhelming amount of weight I still need to lose and feeling the need to get started?  Whatever it is, I have already cleared out my closet of all borrowed maternity clothes and only left a few personal ones.  Which is unfortunate, because I am so, so far from fitting into anything else I own.  It's motivating, to be sure...even if I'm not curtailing the eating all that much just yet.  

• Having to start thinking about bedtime at 10am.  No joke.  Most days I have pjs laid out before lunch.  It's the only way we can all be guaranteed lights out before daybreak.  

• Feeling like a rock star the first week David went back to work.  I got out several times with both kids by myself and we all lived to tell about it.  I remember one particular moment where I sat Audrey on the Potette in the van, changed Luke's diaper in the back, got everyone's bums wiped and hands washed, and then had a fantastic time eating lunch outside and going to the park.  Of course, Luke slept through the whole thing, but the point is I was actually doing it.  More than that, I was succeeding! 

• The amount of diaper changes.  Okay, so this shouldn't surprise me, but I'd completely forgotten. I'd also forgotten about newborns' uncanny propensity to poop in a brand new clean diaper that you've barely gotten the tabs fastened onto.

•  The lack of TV Audrey has watched since Luke has been home.  I am not a big proponent of her watching a lot of TV for multiple reasons, which is kind of an unexpected philosophy itself, but that's another post.  She only watches three to four 30 minutes shows a week, which from what I hear, is way below average.  I was concerned that I was going to have to rely on it a lot once Luke arrived, but am really glad that hasn't been the case.  I don't think we turned the thing on at all while David was on paternity leave and we haven't increased her viewing time since he went back to work. I think it's mainly because Luke is a fast eater and also because since she would be content to sit and listen to books all day long, I've been able to entertain her by reading.  It may seem silly to some, but to me, it's a small victory.

• Our more relaxed style this go-round.  I'm sure that, like us, you've heard it a million times, but it's true:  You're just more relaxed with the second kid.  You're more confident, for one thing, and you realize very early and very quickly that someone is going to have to wait and you (and them) are going to have to be okay with that.  Sometimes I wish it were different, like when Luke is screaming to be fed and I'm trying to coax poop out of Audrey.  Other times, it's perfectly okay with me that he fusses for five minutes so I can grab a snack or finish up a load of laundry.  I know it won't hurt him.  I've also wised-up and am not attempting any sort of schedule yet, I'm getting out of the house way more and earlier this time than I did with Audrey, and I'm more open about nursing when and where I/he needs to.  I worry a little less and pray a little more.  The guilt and anxiety are lower (albeit slightly) and I don't second guess myself as much as I did.  There just isn't time!  Plus, I know that if I screw him up too badly, we know some great counselors and therapists.  

• My love for this boy.  You knew I had to sneak in an ultra-sappy one, so here goes:  No amount of me feels like my love and affection has been divided or lessened towards either kid.  Time and resources - definitely.  But any silent fears I had about not having the capacity to love two children have completely dissipated.  He's awesome, hands down, and he's already got my unconditional love and devotion for life, just like his big sister.

I asked David what has surprised him about number two. After a crude middle-school humor bathroom joke, he said not much.  It's all going about how he expected.  Which is another thing that surprises me, but I guess I'm glad about it!