Thankful Thursday

Luke was three weeks old yesterday.  He's definitely awake more now, though not enough for me to even attempt putting him on a schedule yet.  I'm nursing him about every 2.5-3 hours during the day, attempting cluster feedings every 2 hours in the evening, and then letting him go however long he'll go at night, which for the last week has only been 2 hours most shifts.  Which means I'm getting 1.5 hour shifts at most.  Which means I'm a tired momma.  I knew it would get more difficult before it got easier, but I kinda thought that would be due to his daytime wakefulness.  I never really considered we'd be going backwards on nighttime sleep.  I've also cut chocolate out of my diet to see if it helps his gassy tummy.  So far no difference, but then again, it's only been four days and we had enchiladas twice this week so who knows.


The hardest part of my exhaustion is how it plays out in my interaction with Audrey and the accompanying guilt.  I have a shorter fuse and less imagination - two big cons when it comes to dealing with a toddler.  I obviously can't get upset at Luke for being hungry or crying, but I can snap at Audrey for taking to long to eat, to potty, etc.  And then I feel like official crud for it.  It seems like we'll have one good day followed by a rough day, but I guess you have to have the good to get you through the bad and the bad to make you appreciate the good.  There is certainly a direct correlation between how much one-on-one time I spend with her and her attitude/how things are going.  Unfortunately, moms of two just don't have a lot of one-on-one time to offer.  She's had several play dates and plenty of Daddy and grandparent time, and those are a huge help, but they can't replace her time with me.  I'm also very worried about her becoming resentful of Luke.  So, please pray for my patience (and hers) and that I can squeeze in an extra few minutes with her here and there.  


Other prayer requests:  

• My grandfather, who is awaiting results from a brain scan after a fall and subsequent headaches.  
• A settled tummy for Luke and more sleep for us.  

And here is this week's TT list:


1.  An empty dryer.  There are few things that thrill me more these days then to open the dryer door to toss in wet clothes and discover that it's already empty.  It's a rare find, but boy does it make me happy.


2.  A family cry and a good word.  After a rough night, I sleepily started fixing us breakfast the other morning through one squinty eye.  I was starving, Luke was crying, and then Audrey pinched her finger in a clothes pin and started bawling.  I scooped her up, sat down, and joined them in a good cry.  Exhaustion, hormones, and two wailing kids were just too much for me.  At that moment, Mercy Me's "Move" came on the  radio and I heard the lyrics "there's gonna be brighter days".  It was perfectly timed.


3.  This weather!  Love, love, love the warm temperatures.  It is so nice to get to the park to burn off some of Audrey's energy.  


4.  Meals from friends.  Man, we have been blessed with some delicious food lately!  The last three weeks we've had 3-4 meals brought to us each week and are covered with at least three per week until the end of March.  This is such a big help right now and we greatly appreciate it!  


5.  This week's song is a lullaby called Godspeed.  When I first heard this song years ago, I dreamed of having a son to sing it to.  God is good.