November 2014 Recap

You didn't think I'd be back, did you?  Well as Luke has taken to saying lately when he's victorious, "Ha-HA!"  Here I am again, snuggled in the sunroom at 6am in the morning.  It's my favorite spot in the house, especially this time of year.  The slim Christmas tree in the corner is lit, as are the icicle lights on the back deck.  Sarah McLaughlin's Wintersong is playing on my computer, warm hot chocolate is steaming on the coffee table, and, Lord willin', I have a full hour to get most of this done before someone wakes up.  Here we go:

We started November out in a wonderful way by joining some of our oldest and dearest friends for a Georgia Tech game with some tailgating beforehand.  We have started trying to do this once per year and last year's game was so hot that we aimed for a later game this go-round.  We never imagined it would be as freezing cold as it was!  The girls huddled in the back of our 4Runner with the gate up while we ate delicious Chick-fil-A chicken nuggets (a must when one of the group owns one and one works for corporate), sub sandwiches, buffalo chicken dip, and famous Mama O'Kelley cookies made by one of our friend's moms - a favorite treat since about 1999.  We each had layers upon layers of clothes on and still nearly froze walking over to the stadium.  It was about 32 degrees, which isn't terrible, but the wind was biting.  We managed to stay until the beginning of the fourth quarter so we could do the Budweiser song (a tradition) and then power-walked back to the car.

The first full week, David had to head to California and Colorado for work.  Audrey had Election Day off, which was wonderful.  It's been three months since she started kindergarten and I still miss her terribly.  We didn't do anything super special, just shopped for our Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes, enjoyed lunch out, and visited the park for a long time, but I loved having her with us.  On Wednesday, I had a room mom meeting with my co-leader and we began to map out the "Winter Holiday" party.  Afterwards, I volunteered in the classroom for a couple of hours and stayed to eat lunch with Audrey.  David came home the next day and then, that Saturday, we all headed to Villa Rica for my nephew's third birthday party.  My sister-in-law Jenny had done an incredible job with the bug-themed cake and cute decorations and we let the cousins have a picnic in the family room floor and then listened to them put on a musical performance after James had opened his presents and got a new little microphone.  

The second week of the month, David and I met for a dinner date before attending a meeting at church. Our new campus pastor had approached us about Christmas shopping for a local family on the church's behalf and the meeting had all of the details.  Unfortunately, it lacked the actual family info and shopping list, but more on that later.  The end of the week, we celebrated Audrey's teacher's birthday by baking a pound cake and taking her flowers, her favorite drink, breakfast, and a gift card from the class.  She seemed so appreciative of all of the goodies and as I dropped everything off, I reminded the kids to try extra hard to behave that day.  I imagine it worked for at least twenty minutes.  God bless teachers.  That weekend, we walked the Lanier Under the Lights 5K at Lake Lanier Islands with the kids and David's parents.  Although cold, it was a really neat way to begin the holiday season.  I packed the kids some hot chocolate and we enjoyed seeing all of the cool displays on foot.  

Week three began with church and taking our shoeboxes in for Samaritan's Purse.  The kids had done a fantastic job of shopping for them.  They'd chosen things with careful thought, gently packed them, and prayed over them.  We watched a video online about the kids that receive them and I cried as I once again realized how blessed we are.  I was really thankful that Audrey and Luke seemed to truly "get it" and was so proud watching them tote the boxes into church.  

That Monday evening, I was asked to attend an HOA meeting to present my neighborhood 5K proposal.  Thankfully, it was a small crowd and, Kelly, my sweet small group co-leader surprised me by showing up to offer her moral support.  Everything went well and the general consensus seems to be that it's a go, but they want to gauge neighbors' interest a little more.  They were planning on sending out a resident survey at the beginning of December and will add a question or two about whether a neighborhood 5K would be something people would participate in.  Once they gather those results and see what the response is, they'll make their final decision about granting approval.  

Towards the end of the week, Audrey had a Thanksgiving "play" at school.  Three of the little kindergarten classes participated and the kids were either turkeys, corn, pilgrim women, pilgrim men, Indian women, or Indian men.  She was a pilgrim woman along with about a dozen other little girls and they would say "Mercy Me!" at certain parts of the narrated story.  It was so precious!  They did about eight songs and she sang every word, but didn't look like she was having a blast.  She looked adorable, though, and I couldn't help but sit there and take in the reality that this was going to be one of the last cutsie little programs she would do.  I imagine by first or second grade, this kind of stuff goes away.  

That Friday morning, I took Audrey to school and ran around with Luke gathering donuts and favorite drinks to take in for Audrey's student teacher's last day.  We went up to the school to drop off the food for the class and a gift I'd gotten her from everyone (seriously, not only is being a room mom a part-time job, but it is expensive!)  Between party planning, volunteering, the teacher's birthday, the play, and the student teacher's last day, I am starting to see where the majority of November's money and time was spent.  

That Friday night, the kids went to David's parents' to spend the night while David and I dragged out the Christmas decorations and began to assemble the big tree.  (I know, I know...it was before Thanksgiving!  When you have 25+ boxes of decorations and three trees, you have to start early!)  The kids came back that Saturday to a half-decorated winter wonderland and the six of us all ate a spaghetti dinner together to help me carb up for my race the next day.  

Sunday morning dawned bright and early and...rainy.  I'd made up my mind I was going to run my half marathon as long as it was being held.  As I drove the hour across town to the park where it was going to be, I tried to mentally prepare myself for the challenge.  I sat in the car for as long as I could and then grabbed an umbrella to head to the pavilion where everyone was gathered (no sense in getting drenched before I even started!)  In addition to dry clothes for afterward, I had packed an extra shirt, jacket, socks, and shoes in case I wanted to change mid-race.  They started the clock and we headed for the five loops and an out-and-back course, whose boredom would prove to be a hurdle in and of itself.  The first couple of miles as I watched the water droplets fall off of the corner of my ball cap, I thought "This is amazing!  This is so hardcore!  You are doing this!"  By mile four I was thinking, "This is insane.  This is miserable.  WHY are you doing this!?"  But I knew why - because once you do hard things like run half marathons in single digit wind chills (last November) and pouring rain, something in you changes and you realize "hey, I can do really, really hard things."  That sense of accomplishment can never be taken away.  It gives me strength to draw from when other tough stuff comes.  

Finally, after running for what seemed like days, I crossed the finish line.  Because of the awful weather, David and the kids had stayed home, so it was an anti-climatic and lonely finish, but it was finally over.  Drenched doesn't begin to describe it.  My pants had stretched out from the water so I had run on the bottom of them for most of the race.  My shoes were so water-logged and heavy that my quads ached for days afterward.  My time wasn't the greatest, but it was by far my most mentally challenging race to date.  I'd made it and I had the medal with the wrong date to prove it.  (Seriously.)  Still, there's nothing like that satisfaction and I praised God for giving me the strength and endurance...and hot water for one of the most painful showers of my life (chaffing).

The rest of the week was a breeze compared to Sunday, especially since I had purposely lined up some relaxation and fun so I could think about it during the run.  Audrey was out all week and Monday was spent mainly chilling and relaxing together, with a long afternoon at the park.  On Tuesday, our favorite non-family sitter came over while I went to get my hair done and then...drumroll, please...got a massage.  I'd purchased a Groupon at the beginning of the year and thought I'd have no problem using it.  Turns out I barely made it before it expired.  

That Wednesday afternoon, David got off work early and we drove up to his parents' house to celebrate with his Dad's side of the family.  We ate a ton of delicious food and then Luke tossed a little ball around with people and Audrey played waitress as we sat around and caught up.  We headed home and put the kids to bed and then woke up the next morning and drove to David's aunt's house to celebrate with his mom's side of the family.  It was supposed to be my side's year, but we rearranged things since both sets of my parents had plans.   The Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade was on and everyone chatted while the finishing touches were laid out.  We stuffed ourselves some more and then topped it off with a huge buffet of desserts.  When everyone's stomachs were sufficiently miserable, David's Aunt Pat gave the kids some toy snowballs and we had a huge fake snowball fight in their mostly empty bonus room.  Everyone had an absolute blast, especially listening to Luke yell "HA!" and watching him hike his leg up to pitch a ball at someone.  It took me 45 minutes to get him calmed down enough to take a short nap, but it was totally worth it.  When he got up, we packed up and headed back to our house to do our traditional tree decorating and lighting. 

The next day was sheer perfection, y'all.  I stayed up pretty late doing some Black Friday shopping online, so I slept in until nearly 7am, which is a rare treat in our house.  We got up and ate breakfast and then decorated our other two trees, the kids' table top trees, and the outside.  We had no agenda and zero place to be.  I kept thinking there was something I was forgetting to do and somewhere we needed to get ready to go to, and then I'd be pleasantly surprised as I remembered neither was true.  We ate and rested and decorated and chilled and ate some more.  It was fantastic.

The next day, we opted to get out and do a little shopping before the crowds got bad.  We hunted around 4-5 different places for a snowman to put in the front yard and finally found one at Walmart, along with the perfect lights for AJ's tree per her request (colored, non-LED with white wire - nearly impossible!  I have no idea where the girl gets her OCD for finding just the right thing she has visualized!)  We ate lunch at Buffalo's and then came home for Audrey and I to change clothes and go see The Nutcracker at the Gwinnett Center.  It was a wonderful girls' afternoon out.  Though the show was a little long for both our tastes (I like my culture in short doses), she truly loved it.  I watched her way more than the actual show.  At one point when the snow began to fall onstage, her mouth literally dropped open.  It was magical to see it through her eyes.  We headed home, got in pajamas, and ate pizza while watching Frosty.  To say it was a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend doesn't do it justice.  

The last day of the month we had church and then our small group social that afternoon.  We ended the semester on such a great note, celebrating with friends who had become closer and strangers who had become friends over the course of fourteen weeks.  We'll be co-leading again next semester and are looking forward to continuing to learn and serve with those returning.  

So we started and ended the month on fantastic notes with a whole lot of good stuff in the middle.  It would've been a lot shorter post if I'd just written that, huh?!  Sorry it is so long, but apparently I had a lot to say about all of the cool happenings!

I'm working on gathering, organizing, and editing pictures and will update when they're posted.  

Sept/Oct 2014 Recap

Hello dear readers.  Let's go ahead and get the elephant out of the room: it's been a while.  I knew I wouldn't have time to blog as much as I liked once I started working.  Though I don't work many hours, the hours taken up by working are the hours I used to spend doing things like blogging, remembering people's birthdays, and returning library books on time.  (Oh my stars, they should name a wing of that place after me.  Or at least put a plaque by a tree outside.  Something for my financial contributions.  And yes, I KNOW I can renew online or by phone.  My brain doesn't seem to remember that fact when it matters.)

Anyway, let's jump in so maybe I can get Sept/Oct Recap finished and then post November's separately  (Quit laughing.  It's possible.)  It's gonna be fast, furious, and bullet-pointed, so hold on to your seats:

September:

• The four of us sent summer out in style and went to the Lake Lanier Islands Waterpark one Saturday.  I have zero pictures, but it was a great morning and the kids had a blast.  

• David and I did the KP Corporate Challenge 5K in downtown Atlanta with his company.  It was crazy crowded and, though we've done it for 5-6 years, this year may have been our last.  Too many people, too expensive, and too hot.

• We began co-leading a married couples' small group.  We meet every Sunday, but trade off who leads/hosts with another couple in our neighborhood.  

• We went to Suwanee Days Parade and Festival.  The kids liked getting their faces painted by the high school art club and watching one of the local dance studios perform on stage.  

• We went to a little friend's birthday party at Catch Air, had several play dates, and went to our first Spirit Night.  

• David traveled.  A lot.

• It seemed like all at once, Luke hit several "secondary milestones".  You know the kind of things I'm talking about - stuff you don't really notice changed at first, but when you do, you get really sad (especially if it's your last baby.)  Things like no more highchairs in restaurants, sitting on his own during a haircut, and starting to pronounce words correctly that he'd always previously gotten wrong (i.e "aldigator" is now "alligator", "lellow" is now "yellow".)

• I started considering training for another half and tried to run accordingly.  It was a pretty pitiful plan, but I squeezed in as much as I could.  

• We had Audrey's eye appointment and ortho appointment, which you can read about here.

• We tried potty training and quit after a week, which you can read more about here.

October:

• I took a girls' trip to Charleston, SC with my friend Kara, who you may remembered moved to SC in 2013.  It was the first girls' trip I've taken since my senior year of high school and it was fabulous.  We ran a 10K (I set a PR), got pedicures, shopped the local artisan's market, ate delicious food, and talked and laughed nonstop.  FUN and MUCH NEEDED. 

• Work finally began to click for me and my efficiency picked way up.  You can tell because I published double the blog posts that I did in September (only going from 2 to 4, but still...)

• David traveled some more.

• We got some great time in with all of the grandparents.  My mom came out for a visit, my dad and stepmom came over for dinner, and we went to see my father-in-law's airplane for the first time and have lunch with him and my mother-in-law for his birthday.  It makes me smile to look through pictures of October and see time spent with all three sets.  I wish it was like that every month!

• We had our two-story family room painted.

• Audrey had a follow-up eye appointment and the doctor was impressed with her improvement.  She told us to continue to patch for two hours a day for another six weeks.

• No news on AJ's legs.  We aren't the best at stretching, but we're trying.

• We took our annual trek up to Jaemor Farms to do the pumpkin patch, corn maze, and "hayride" one Saturday.  Other than being more crowded than I remember, Audrey pulling off a major pouting session because she didn't want to do the apple cannons (or even be near them, because they are TOO LOUD, MOMMY!), Luke whining to be held all through the corn maze, and David griping about me taking pictures, it was nice.  Surely one of those days we'll look back on and romanticize about how perfect it was.  

• Volunteering at Audrey's school and Small Group continued as usual.

• We had a Small Group picnic one beautiful Saturday.

• I kept training for my half and my knee started bugging me.

• David and I had TWO dates.  On one we went hiking around the Chattahoochee River then picked out plants for the front yard at Pike's and went to dinner.  The other we strolled around Walmart trying to get Christmas gift ideas for the kids and then ate dinner at a local seafood restaurant.  

• The kids had a great Halloween.  Audrey was a cowgirl and Luke was a cowboy.  We ate our traditional Mummy Dog dinner and set out for trick-or-treating a little after 6, before it even got dark (we learned last year that that's how this neighborhood rolls.)  We made it about an hour and fifteen minutes before it began to sprinkle and the kids were ready to pack it in.  We came home and gave out candy for about twenty minutes while they ate a few select pieces from their stash.  These ages are just a blast for holidays and I am trying to soak every bit of it up while they're old enough to get it and young enough to want us heavily involved in all aspects.  

So there you go.  September and October.  That didn't take to long to do...I wish I would've cranked it out sooner!

The pictures are in the gallery (which may look different now due to Google changes): 

September 2014 Photos

October 2014 Photos

Hope you'll come back soon for November! :) (And I hope I won't disappoint!)

Delayed Obedience

Years ago, my sweet friend LL used a phrase that has stuck with me.  She was explaining a problem she was having getting her daughter to listen and exasperatedly said, "Delayed obedience is disobedience!"  I now incorporate that concept into my own parenting multiple times a day as I snap my fingers at Luke and say "Immediate obedience, Buddy!"  It goes much deeper than the desire not to have to repeat myself, though that's definitely part of it.  My goal in training him to immediately do what I tell him to could very well be the thing that saves his life or keeps him from getting hurt.  It may be what stops him from running out into the street or walking behind a car backing up in the parking lot or tripping into a hole he can't see at the park.  I need him to hear my voice and do what I'm asking him to do at that very moment.  Delayed obedience = disobedience.

But, OH, how it's so very different when the parent-child relationship we're talking about is between God and us, amiright?  And let's be honest, it's not often a matter of life or death...as far as we know, anyway.  

Which brings me to what I want to share - my story of my most recent episode of delayed obedience.  Months ago (and if I'm honest, it was actually months and months ago), God started stirring something in me.  He was calling me to step up and do something big and specific.  It began in church one Sunday morning when the band played the song "Oceans" by Hillsong. 

If you haven't heard the beautiful, moving words, take a moment now to listen...I'll wait. (C'mon...immediate obedience!)  



As I stood there listening, I felt that God was asking me to organize a 5K in our neighborhood (not so crazy) to benefit a charity that fights human/sex trafficking in Atlanta (um, WHAT?!)  I had no direct experience with such an organization, I had no ties to the cause, and I had NO idea where to begin.  It came out of left field, which in my experience is often the first clue to me that it is from the Lord.  So what did I do?  Well naturally, I did the only logical thing I could think of:  I ignored it completely.  

Given the other "noise" and busyness in my life, ignoring it was actually not that difficult to do.  I'd forget about it during the week, but without fail that nudging would return on Sunday morning, especially when I heard that song again.  

"Okay, Lord, you want me to serve?  I'll lead a small group.  That's good enough, right?"  (There.  That should placate him for a while.)

No?   "But Gooooood (in the whiniest of whiney voices like my children use), I'm so busy.  Maybe in another season of life when things get calmer."  (I think I actually heard His audible laughter at the idea of that.)

And the list went on:  I don't wanna.  I can't.  Someone else will.  Later.  What if it flops?  They don't need my help.  What if I mess something up?  This is crazy.  Why me?  And the real mother-of-all reasons behind the others:  I'm SCARED.  

But one of my most favorite characteristics about our God is His patience when it comes to His children.  Unlike me when one of my kids doesn't obey, He never "snapped" or "lost it".  He never called down fire on my head.  When I think about it, He never even made me feel guilty.  He just waited, knowing that I was the one robbing myself of the blessing of obedience.  

As time passed, one part of the song kept echoing in my mind:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when I sat in another service at church.  This one was on the book of James and the main point was "Faith without works is dead."  Finally, I heard my "reasons" as the excuses they were.  I could keep ignoring Him or I could (wo)man up and do what God was calling me to do.  

I finally chose to step out of the boat.

The next day I emailed our HOA board.  Two days later, I spent an hour on the phone with a guy in the area that organizes races to figure out what was involved in putting on a 5K.  Less than a week after that call, I put together an official proposal and sent it off to the HOA board to review.  Obedience was in motion, and the weight that was lifted was incredible.  Make no mistake, I waited entirely too long, but fortunately for me, God was willing to wait too. 

So the wheels are in motion.  After talking to the race organizer, I really feel like I need to partner with him to help with the work, at least for this first race.  Perhaps if it becomes an annual tradition I can continue from his blueprint, but there is a ton for me to do even with his assistance.  When Satan's false guilt began to creep in about that and made me doubt whether it's all even worth it given the amount of money it would raise (getting $2,000 from this size/type of event would be considered fantastic), I started struggling.  My husband and a couple of sweet friends spoke encouraging words of confirmation and so I'm pressing on.  Whatever amount raised will be more than they had the day before and God can do incredible things with so much less than we think.  (See 2 fish and 5 loaves story.)

I am sure that there will be multiple moments of doubt in this process, but I pray God will continue to urge me forward regardless.  After all, the extremely freeing part about obeying Him is that you are not responsible for the outcome.  Don't miss that, y'all:  YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE OUTCOME.  Ahhhh, the relief!  

I am working on doing what He asked and I'm going to give it my best.  But the board's approval, the participation, the money raised, even the weather - all of that is on Him.  Of course I want it to go well, but I have this unusual peace in just focusing on my part.  

That being said, I would so appreciate your prayers and support right now as I wait to hear back from the HOA.  If they give me the green light, we'll jump in head-first to get something together by the spring.  I should get an answer in the next couple of weeks, so stay tuned.

In the meantime, I want to close with a word of encouragement:  If there is something - big or small - that God is calling you to do, please do it.  Delayed obedience equals disobedience.  Better late than never holds true for me this time, but I know that's not always the case.  There is such sweet reward in submitting to God.  Great cost and often a lot of work, yes, but y'all, there is such sweet reward.  

The Myth of Balance

I would not categorize myself as a "working mom" (such a misnomer as all moms work their butts off).  My extremely part-time job still allows me to keep Luke at home full-time this year and I do 90% of my work during his nap or after the kids are in bed from the comfort of my own home.  I realize this is a huge blessing and quite a contrast to the set-up most women have.  And let me be clear:  I enjoy what I do, I enjoy having something outside of mom-dom, and I enjoy financially contributing to our income again, however small the amount.

Still, that time has to come from somewhere and, boy, are there days.  They don't come often (but somehow usually coincide with my PMS) but they rear their ugly heads.  Days when I feel like I just can't. catch. my. breath.  Days when the guilt creeps in and I find myself thinking things like, "Brinner/spaghetti/store-bought chicken for dinner again, Heather?" or "Exactly when was the last time you cleaned that bathroom/changed those sheets/mopped that floor?" or "Have you called/texted/email so-and-so recently?  What kind of a daughter/sister/friend are you?" 

I know I am not alone in this nor did those thoughts just begin surfacing with the start of my job.  I don't know of anyone who wears multiple hats that doesn't struggle with this from time to time.

Truth be told, things are going well at the moment and all of the plates are spinning...for now.  But like that post-nasal drip in the back of your throat that signals the cold is coming, I feel like the inevitable ball-dropping is right around the corner (it may even have a name: "the holidays".)  I told David that all it's going to take is one stomach bug or one hard deadline and this precarious situation is going to crumble.  

To better articulate these emotions, I want to share this clip from the movie Mom's Night Out.  It's a very rough cut, so I'm also including a part of the transcript below in case you can't make it through watching all four minutes.  

Ally:  "I failed again. I’ve blown it.  I had a plan…Instead, I can’t.  I can’t get in front of it.  No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I give, I’m just…I'm not enough." 

Bones:  "For who?"

Ally:  "What?"

Bones:  "Not enough for who?"

Ally:  "I mean, Sean, the kids, for my mother, God, everybody.  I don’t know."

Bones:  "You.  Not enough for YOU...."

"...Y’all spend so much time beating yourselves up.  Must be exhausting.  Let me tell you something, girl.  I doubt the Good Lord made a mistake giving your kiddos the mama He did.  So you just be you.  He’ll take care of the rest." 

When I watched that movie and heard her say "I can't get in front of it", I literally burst into tears.  I spend too much time feeling that way or feeling that I'm just enough in front of it that I can feel its breath on my neck and its toes at my heels. 

The good news is that I'm slowly learning to push that feeling away.  I'm learning to tell those thoughts where they can go, because the idea that you can do it all and be it all to all of the people all of the time?  Yeah...no.  Something's gotta give.  The goal of achieving balance in your life?  I think it's total crap.  

I think the trick to balance is just making sure you rotate which thing/person gets the shaft.  Then, and this is big, y'all:  Let yourself off the hook.  Replace the negative, false guilt with truth and reason.  Some of my internal dialogue, as an example:   

Audrey gets ripped off by having to ride the bus in the afternoon.  I'm not going to make Luke wait in carpool during his nap time five hours a week.  Besides, she loves it and gets home approximately five minutes later than I could get her there as a car rider anyway.  I miss so many Saturday mornings with the family because of my running.  It's good for your health.  They're only awake for about an hour before you return and it gives David extra time with them.  I should've taken that friend a meal weeks ago.  They still need to eat now.  Make it this week.  I lost my patience with the kids.  But you apologized and asked for their forgiveness.  I'm failing at ABC.  Maybe, but you're nailing XYZ. 

Most of the time no one even notices these trade-offs and balance rotations but me.  And what if they do (and assuming their opinion matters)?  Then I apologize and ask for forgiveness and grace.  The cool thing about that...in addition to appearing human...is that it's easier to extend to others when they need it.  Plus, I feel like I'm making the time that I do have truly count.  If I'm going to shortchange somebody or something, I want it to be justified by focusing and doing the chosen thing well, if that makes sense.  If Luke has to watch a show while I work, I laser-beam and hit it hard so that it's not wasted time.  When the show is over, I turn off the computer, put down the phone, and try to concentrate solely on him.  When David and I get the luxury of a date night, I make every effort to be present and engage.  When I read the Word or pray, all distractions must be removed.  Multi-tasking has its proper place, but I'm trying to remember that less productivity is better when it comes to loved ones.  Perfect balance doesn't exist, so the scale should always tip to the side that has your heart.  

I don't do these things perfectly.  In fact, I'm not even sure I'd say that I do them well at this point.  But I try.  And like good ol' "Bones" said, I pray that God's grace will fill in the gaps and that "He'll take care of the rest."

Potty School Drop-Outs

Confession time:  As of Monday morning at 7:17am, we are potty school drop-outs.  Failures.  Quitters.  Wimps.  

I did not reach this monumental decision lightly.  Here's a sample of my "conversation" with others on the matter (a.k.a. emotional tirade that I made my husband, several friends and family, and the Good Lord above listen to):

"But potty training feels like a BIG thing!  It feels like a 'if-I-screw-this-up-he-will-be-living-in-our-basement-when-he's-forty" kinda thing!  How can I do this to him?  How can I say, either literally or figuratively, 'Buddy, you're terrible at this' and take that shot at his little self-esteem?!  He will be scarred forever.  I can almost hear the collective sigh of all the child psychologists in the world shaming me.  He will never recover from this punch in the gut and will always hold it against me."

Thankfully, I have learned two things important things:  1)  I have a tendency to overreact.  2)  I have learned to surround myself with people that don't. 

One dear friend in particular reminded me that Luke is an old-soul, intelligent two year old that is perfectly capable of having a conversation about the topic.  She also convinced me that being two, he will believe whatever I tell him to believe.  

Feeling better, but still not quite ready to throw in the towel, we decided to try for a few more days.  We purchased a Fisher Price potty (and would've been better off just flushing $30 down the real toilet.)  We upped the ante on rewards.  We gushed praises and gently admonished.  Nada.  I mean nothing in the potty for SIX days.  I think part of the problem was a tough bout with constipation that left him a little scared.  Whatever the reason, I knew it was time to either ratchet it way up and do the 3-4 day underwear/bootcamp method (that I honestly didn't think would work) or...quit for now.  We had a decision to make.  And pardon the horrible pun, but it was time to poop or get off the pot.

I decided to ask Luke.  Here's how it went down:

Me:  "Luke, let's talk about potty training.  How do you think it's going?"

Luke:  "NOT good."

Me:  "Yeah, it's a really, really tough thing to learn isn't it?  I am so proud of you for trying! Would you like to take a break for a little while and try again after you turn three?"

Luke:  "YES.  We should do that.  That's a really good idea."  (No joke.  His words.)

I don't ask my kids for their input on a lot of big decisions.  I give them little choices throughout the day so they learn how to decide and think for themselves, but we are unashamedly a dictatorship about the major things.  Nonetheless, this just felt right to ask about.  I misread his cues and I wanted to go back, but I wanted to know how he felt.  Turns out he felt he misjudged the situation a little too.  

The first-time Mama in me would've dogmatically continued on, in part to avoid admitting my mistake to my child or others and in part to show my kid that Sinyards are NOT quitters. 

...Except when we are.  Except when it's right to quit.  Sometimes being a good mom is about pushing and encouraging and cheering when your child wants with every fiber of their being to stop.  So much of motherhood is about making them do the right thing, even when they don't want to.  It's days upon days of nagging as positively as possible and sometimes annoying yourself at your unrelenting reminders to just. keep. it. up.  

But sometimes?  Sometimes motherhood needs to be about stepping back and saying "Hey. Let's reevaluate this together."  It's remembering to take a breath and then look at the big picture for a minute.  It's about chilling the heck out for everyone's sakes.  

The second-time Mama in me knows better.  I was wrong.  It's not the right time.  He will get this, but not now.  We have too much on our collective family plate and he's not ready.  AND THAT'S OKAY.  He will be fine.  

I have never felt happier about failing something in my life.  I pray this lesson sticks with me as we navigate deeper into this never-a-dull-moment parenting journey.  Quitters DO win sometimes.  

P.S.  If you see Luke in high school and he's wearing Depends, turns out we should've stuck with it.  

An Update on AJ

I wanted to take a moment outside of a monthly recap post and fill you in on how Audrey has been doing.  She's had a lot going on lately beyond just starting kindergarten, as if that wasn't a big enough adjustment by itself.  I honestly can't remember what I've already written about, so I'll cover everything here but please excuse any repetitiveness. 

As you may recall, she got glasses back in May.  I had a lot to say about the subject (imagine) and wrote about it at length here.  The doctor wanted to see her six weeks later, so we went back in July for a check-up.  At that point, the doctor was pleased, but wanted to see us again in six more weeks.  She wanted to make sure there was at least as much improvement in that time span or we would have to start patching her strong eye to force the brain to use the weak one.  I was optimistic that we'd make great strides and didn't really think much else about it.  When we returned in August, the level of improvement was not up to where the doctor wanted it to be, so she instructed us to begin patching her strong eye two hours a day.  Audrey broke my heart when she turned to me and whispered, "Mommy?  I'm not too sure about this."  Feeling guilty that I hadn't better prepared her for the possibility, I reassured her it would be just fine.  I listened to the doctor give examples of hand-eye coordination activities that would be good to do while she was "patching" and then we picked out the cutest possible patch (no small feat) and went home feeling a little bummed.  

That night, we tried it out for about half an hour and she was a trooper.  She has said to me several times that she really doesn't want to do this at school.  I don't have an honest answer that she'll never have to, so I just say that's not what we're doing right now and bring her back to the task at hand.  Since that first week, we've worked our way up to the prescribed two consecutive hours per day, sometimes aiming a bit higher on weekends.  

Two days after that appointment, we had an appointment with a pediatric orthopedist about her toe-walking.  It's something that she's done since she started walking and her pediatrician has always dismissed it, saying she would grow out of it.  After an intense conversation with a well-meaning loved one, I couldn't get it out of my head and started researching online (which is the best possible thing to do when you're worried about a medical condition, by the way.)  

After reading that most kids do indeed grow out of it by the age of five or six, I decided I didn't want to wait any longer and made a call to her pediatrician for a referral.  We went in and the orthopedist had her do some stretching as he pushed and pulled on her legs.  He watched her walk and asked me questions.  He concluded that we've gotten ourselves into a tough cycle:  She has walked on her tiptoes so much for so long that her calf muscle is shortening and her tendons are tightening so now it's more comfortable for her to walk on her tiptoes.  He listed out the less-than-ideal options in progressive order: stretching at home, physical therapy, serial casting, and, finally, surgery, which they wouldn't even consider before she's ten because they'd have to redo it after she grew.  We left the office with instructions to stretch for 15 minutes a night every night and come back in six months.  We promptly walked over (on "flat feet", of course) to Stride Rite and spent $50 on a pair of high-back, thicker soled tennis shoes to aid in keeping her heels on the ground.  The doctor didn't seem to think they'd help, but I figure they can't hurt.  I just can't bring myself to put my five year old in heels yet, so we're going to start with boots and shoes that come up high and are difficult to bend.  

Since that appointment, I've spoken with a friend who is a physician's assistant and whose daughter has gone through all of the treatment options for toe-walking short of surgery, which she'll be getting at the end of the month.  She gave me a lot of hope and encouragement.  I've also talked with another children's orthopedist who lives in our neighborhood.  Without having actually seen her and just going by what I said, he's not concerned and said, "There is NO way I'd even consider serial casting as long as she has the ability to walk heel-to-toe."  He went on to say physical therapy sounded like an option for us if we wanted it, but doubted we'd need to go more than once a week.  He calmly reiterated what I've heard for years ("she'll likely grow out of it") and followed up by saying that even if she doesn't, it's not that big of deal.  If she wants to participate in sports, she'll just need to stretch really well before playing.  

I hate to be so pessimistic when it's only been two weeks, but I'm doubtful anything but a physical reminder in some orthotic form is going to help.  We can do all the stretching in the world but the mental habit is ingrained.  I've read about something called "AFOs" (ankle foot orthosis...basically a splint) and am wondering if the physical therapist would offer that down the road.  Our plan right now is to keep stretching for another couple of weeks and then maybe make an appointment with a physical therapist just to get evaluated.  After being told by Thomas Eye Group that things were inconclusive and to wait six months only to find out that was far from the truth, you'll certainly understand my restlessness not to wait around.  If it needs to be fixed, let's do all we can to fix it now.  If she really is okay according to three different experts (2 children's orthos and a PT), then we'll chill.  

Lastly, a quick update on school:  We had her parent-teacher conference on Tuesday.  It was a huge relief to me because her teacher understands a) how bright she is and b) how sweet she is, but c) has already identified how to challenge her, namely by drawing her out of herself and into more of a leadership role.  Those that know AJ on a personal level probably find this hilarious, because she is NOT shy at home or in small, comfortable groups.  At school, however, she's timid and blends into the background.  The teacher gushed about how she has so much to offer and outlined ways that she's slowly pulling her more into the forefront.  As I listened to her heart and passion for these kids, I wanted to cry.  This teacher may not be the best at communicating, but she knows what she's doing.  And she's good at it.  Everything else is secondary because she SEES my daughter.  What an answered prayer.  

So that's where we are.  I know that I know that I know that it could be SO much more and that we are so, so blessed to have to mostly-healthy kids.  But, if I'm honest and transparent (which I try to be since it's my blog and all), it's still kind of a lot.  It's a lot on AJ and, selfishly, it's a lot on me.  Or, more accurately, it's not how I want to fill my limited time with her these days:  nagging and stretching and patching and nagging and WORRYING...and then nagging some more.  

Will you please pray for us?  Will you pray that all of this makes Audrey stronger?  Not just her eye and her legs, but her will and her determination to do the hard things.  Pray that it strengthens our family's relationships as she sees us as all being on the same team helping her.  She feels alone and a little like an outsider right now because "none of you know how this stuff feels", as she puts it.  I hate she has to deal with this, but I also...maybe more so...hate that at five years old, she's so concerned with being made fun of and being different.  I want this challenge to build her up and, in turn, help her build up others.  I want her to know how beautiful she is, inside and out, and how loved she is by God and her family no matter what.  Please join me in praying that she feels that to the depth of her soul.  

I don't care if she's a ballet-dancing pirate (and no, I've never called her that!) She is my ballet-dancing pirate and I love her so much it hurts...especially when I have to watch her struggle.  

I'll update you more later, but in the meantime, thanks for "listening" and praying!

August 2014 Recap

I'm not sure where to begin.  August already seems like it happened ages ago.  In terms of what all occurred that month - Audrey starting kindergarten, finishing our office makeover, me starting my new job, and David's travels - it felt like three months packed into one, but it was also painfully slow as we tried to get used to new routines. 

We started the month with Audrey's Open House where we met her teacher and got very little info, but somehow left overwhelmed.  Afterward, we tried to push the anxiety away and went to a Food Truck Friday where the kids ate a bunch of fried junk and then danced their hearts out to the live band (at their begging, I joined them for a few minutes.  David would rather die.  Balance.)  The next day we had David's company picnic at Lake Lanier Islands, but we didn't stay very long or do the water park because Luke had some kind of weird rash going on and wasn't feeling the greatest.  

Before we knew it, the weekend (or, more accurately, the last five years) flew by and it was Audrey's first day of kindergarten.  I briefly wrote about how she was doing in a previous post, but a quick update is that she's doing fantastic.  She'll moan a little bit about going some mornings, but she always has positive things to say about the day when she comes home.  Her classmates are very well-behaved and she hasn't had any outrageous stories to share, which is a big relief to me because one of my fears about public school was that the majority of the teacher's time and attention would have to be devoted to discipline.  Her favorite parts to date are her "specials" (i.e. PE, music, art, etc.) and riding the bus home.  

Luckily that first week I stayed distracted with finishing the office and preparing for the big consignment sale I participate in.  A couple of friends came over for a preview sale at my house before I took everything to drop-off.  Suddenly it was Friday evening and we found ourselves curled up and doing one of our most favorite family things - having a Pajama Party Pizza Picnic and watching a movie.  We'd made it through four whole days and survived! ;)

I joke, but we really did try to keep the first couple of weeks very low-key for Audrey's sake.  We spent a lot of quality time together in the evenings.  Usually after dinner, David plays with the kids while I spend about 30-45 minutes cleaning up dishes and running around doing laundry, packing lunch, watering flowers, etc and then we spend the last hour before bed all playing together or doing baths.  For the first two weeks of school, however, I made a very concerted effort to keep our calendar clear and make sure all four of us were as together and "present" as possible to help AJ transition.  There were a lot of games of hide-and-seek, dance parties, puzzles, etc. and it was nice to have the extra time together.  Impractical to maintain every day on an on-going basis, but definitely something I recommend during high-stress changes.

The third weekend we sent the kids to spend the night at David's parents' house and we drove across town for a wedding.  We have been friends with the groom, Jeffrey, for 15 years (actually, our families have known each other since before I was born, but we moved away and didn't get back in touch until we were in our late teens) and met his bride about two years ago.  The wedding was incredible, not because of the decor or the food, which were nice, but because of the company.  In addition to the bride and groom, we met up with two of our closest and oldest couple friends and then had another couple we hadn't seen in years (we'd never met his wife, actually) who were in town from Alabama join us.  The night was just wonderful.  We laughed and reminisced and danced and ate and laughed some more.  We broke the vendor's record for most people stuffed in a photo booth at one time and have the pictures to prove it ("Whose finger is that?!  Whatever - it counts!")  After the newlyweds drove off, we all headed over to Starbucks and talked some more until they kicked us out to close down.  I'm still smiling just thinking about it.  It is so precious to be with people who have known you that long...through dating and marriage and jobs and moves and babies...and love you like family.  It was definitely the night of a lifetime as we relieved a lifetime of memories.  

The morning after the wedding, David and I biked about seven miles together and then I went for a 3 mile run (this was while I was still deciding whether to do a duatholon or not...I've since decided "not" but more on that in another post.)  His parents brought the kids back to our house and David grilled some of his delicious hamburgers for lunch.  After they left, it was family nap time.  In addition to Pajama Party Pizza Picnic, this is one of my other favorite things we do. :)

Unfortunately we had to end such a great weekend by kicking off a string of travel for David.  He left that Sunday for Virginia and returned just in time for Curriculum Night at Audrey's school.  The evening before, her teacher left me a voicemail and told me she had chosen me to be one of the two room moms, which I was elated over.  Communication hadn't improved (and, to date, it still hasn't) so I figured that though it may be a challenge to take on the role, it was about my only chance of  knowing what was going on.  We went into the class that night and got very little information on actual curriculum, but did find out about the day's schedule, some of their activities and procedures, and learned more about the teacher and some of the other parents.  It was so refreshing after three weeks of nil.  Her teacher gushed about how well behaved the class was and how in all of her 23 years of teaching, she couldn't recall a time she didn't have to use tape on the floor for circle time the first few weeks or assign seats at the tables because some kids needed to be separated.  Shew!  So thankful!

David then left that Friday morning for a three-day guys' golf trip.  My brother and niece came up from Savannah for a visit that weekend.  It was great to have the company, especially with David gone.  We let the kids sleep in a little on Saturday morning and then fixed a big breakfast.  They stayed in their pajamas until nearly lunch time, running from one room to the next playing.  We baked cupcakes, had lunch, and then put everyone down for naps/rests.  After they woke up, my brother and niece took off to a friend's house and the kids and I hit the pool for a swim.  The next morning, my brother joined us for church and then he got on the road and I went to meet Kara and the kids for a quick lunch while they were in town before they headed back to South Carolina. 

The next day, I started work, which I detailed in this post.  The first week went well, but was not without its hiccups.  That's always the case with new things, though.  More updates about that in September's recap - which should be posted sometime in December at this rate. ;)

The last Friday of the month we had a Tailgate at Audrey's school.  It was h-o-t and Luke couldn't care less about the bouncy houses, but Audrey loved seeing some classmates and getting her face painted by our neighbor who was working that booth.  After we ate, David took the kids home and I stuck around for the raffle, which was a good choice since I won a gift card to a restaurant.  On the drive home, I got a text from one of our sweet friends who told us to check our mailbox.  Kaelyn, Audrey's little friend that attends our church and her school, had won several things at the raffle and decided to give one of her prizes (a t-shirt and note pad) to Audrey.  MADE HER NIGHT.  Having sweet friends who are raising caring, giving kids made mine.  

The next day we went to visit my brother, sister-in-law, and nephews for a little bit on our way to Alabama to see David's family.  It was a good day full of family, food, and celebrating my mother-in-law's birthday.  That Sunday we went to church and then to our small group co-leaders' pool party with some of their friends.  It was a great way to send out the month and celebrate the unofficial end of summer.

So that was August.  Another month passed!  Lots of new beginnings in this one, for sure.  Insert cliche quote about changing being the way to tell you're growing and all great change coming with chaos, etc. etc. etc.  I don't know about all that, but here's what I do know:  Change IS inevitable.  And it's hard...for me at least.  But it's doable.  "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil. 4:13 

That being said, I hope we're done with the big shifts for at least a little while!  

Enjoy this month's pics:  August 2014

Thankful Thursday

I have really been wanting to sit down and write an update on Audrey's kindergarten experience, but haven't had the time to do that or a monthly recap for August just yet.  In an effort not to succumb to the "do it right or not at all" mentality I struggle with, I decided that not having time to do that didn't mean I had to forego posting all together.  So, here is a quick TT post for the week:

1.  Time with family.  We got to swing by for a visit with my brother, sister-in-law, and nephews on our way to Alabama last weekend.  Though we weren't there long, it was better quality time than the last few chaotic birthday party gatherings we've shared.  My favorite part was when my SIL told me that my nephew Carson was requesting me by name to come upstairs so he could show me who Kirby was on his Nintendo game.  (And he didn't even give me grief about not already knowing such a thing!) Our Alabama visit was great as well and we had extra reason to celebrate since it was my mother-in-law's birthday.  Which brings me to #2...

2.  My mother-in-law, Pam.  She is a constant source of support for our family in the form of encouraging words and prayer, for-no-reason clothes and gifts, and most of all, taking such great care of our kids.  It is absolutely priceless to me to have so many grandparents nearby to help out.  Lately she's had to be even more flexible than usual as my schedule has become busier and I'm more at the mercy of others.  I greatly appreciate your role in the village that it takes, Pam!

3.  Being with Audrey at her school.  Finally, I got to go in to Audrey's class this week and have my room mom meeting, volunteer, and then have lunch with my sweet girl.  She was ecstatic!  I had my meeting and then took some things out in the hall to work on so the teacher didn't have to feel like I was looking over her shoulder.  I came back in to drop off the stack and the kids were lined up ready to walk to lunch.  Audrey looked panicked and grabbed my hand super tightly.  I bent down to hear her whisper, "Mommy!  It's lunch time - don't go!"  I assured her I wasn't doing any more work and was ready to go with her to the cafeteria.  That night when I was tucking her in, she said, "Mommy, I was so worried when it was almost lunch and you weren't there.  I was scared you'd miss it with me."  OH my heart!  I pray that she will always a) know I'll be there when I say I will and b) want my company that badly.

4.  Those of you that have taken the time to call, text, or ask about my new job.  I've come a long way in a short time, but it's still new and overwhelming.  I appreciate your care and encouragement more than you know.  (P.S. I lead my first team call by myself today and didn't screw anything up - SUCCESS!)

5.  The sound of rain showers in our sunroom.  I love our sunroom.  It was one of the major selling points of this house and is my favorite room in it, but unfortunately it's not one I spend a ton of time in.  When it's raining, though, I try to make a point to go in just for a minute to hear the drops patter on the roof and watch the trees blowing around outside.  It is incredibly peaceful and beautiful.  

Maybe more updates soon, maybe not.  Hopefully.  Life is pretty hectic right now, so I appreciate your prayers and patience!  

Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho, It's Off to Work I Go

Monday was the start of a new journey for me as I began a project management position with Sideways 8, a friend's web design business.  I'll be working from home for them on a very part-time basis, making sure that things keep rolling on time and on budget as they need to.  

I'm excited about this new venture!  I really like having something of my own outside of mommy-dom that uses my education and skills in a different way (because lawdy, I promise being a SAHM uses management and event planning skills!)  I think it's good for the kids to see me work...and the paycheck won't hurt either!

So far, training has been going well.  As with any new job, there are new systems to learn (how in the world did technology and apps advance this far so fast?!), new people to meet (the other employees and the 25+ active clients), and new lingo to get used to (oh the acronyms!) on top of the actual job tasks.  After my in-person training on Monday (where I accidentally dumped Adam's entire cup of coffee out before he even sat down....true story), I was overwhelmed and had a bit of "oh no, what have I done?!"  By the end of Tuesday's team call, however, I felt a little more competent.  Not a lot, but a little.  As we finish projects and begin working with new clients, it'll become even easier to remember facts and details and establish working relationships being in from the ground up.  

As I continue to get settled in, I need your prayers for my family's (and boss's) patience, my balance/time management, our health, and for me to be a quick study.  My phone and laptop are smoking from all of the updates and new apps I've installed...not at all unlike my brain, actually.  This is exciting, but it's a little scary, especially because it's starting in conjunction with our new semester of co-leading a small group and my new Room Mom roll (didn't I tell you?! I'm IN!) as well as all of the kindergarten adjustments and David's busy travel schedule.  If I don't call you back, return your email, or send you a baby gift until his first birthday, I ask for your forgiveness and grace.  We'll get there eventually and in the meantime, there is coffee and Jesus.  I might even have to switch from decaf for awhile.  

A Kindergarten Update

We're well into week two of kindergarten for Audrey and she seems to still be enjoying it.  The past couple of mornings, she has made remarks like "Mommy, I wish I could stay home with you" and "I wish I didn't have to go to school so early!", but once we get going she is positive about it and doesn't ever say she doesn't want to go.  She comes home full of exciting stories and thankfully has endured my constant questions pretty well.  I can tell they're doing a lot of assessments, which is a relief to me that they're already on the ball figuring out where everyone stands.  

Luke is adjusting to her absence better than I thought and I believe he secretly enjoys running the roost a little...or at least having one less bossy female in his face all the time.  The other day he disappeared into the playroom and was pretty quiet. I called out, "Luke?  Whatcha doin'?" to which he giggled, "Just sittin' in Audrey's chair."  He is never "allowed" to do that when she's home, so he really thought he was getting away with something!  

As for me, I'm handling it pretty well.  I didn't cry the rest of the first week, but had a moment on Tuesday.  She is so small compared to the other kids (even the other kindergarteners) and it just hits me sometimes.  In the morning carpool line we never know where we're going to stop and she sometimes has a bit of a walk to the door.  This particular morning we stopped the farthest away that they allow kids to unload.  She got out and started trekking in and I teared up watching her.  As I kept looking, I saw a familiar little head by the door.  Audrey spotted her too and her face lit up and her hand waved and waved.  It was her buddy Kaelyn holding the door open and waiting for Audrey.  I felt like God was reminding me that she is not alone.  Of course I cried harder, but in a good way.  That precious, kind act made both mine and Audrey's mornings.  

Another thing I've struggled with is the lack of communication from the teacher.  Open House was a complete let down with nothing but a cafeteria menu given to us - no class list, no daily schedule, no specials rotation schedule, no form of contact.  At preschool, her teacher gave us her cell phone number for pete's sake.  I wasn't expecting that by any means, but did anticipate a little more.  I sent an email with some questions on the first or second day (after spending 15 minutes trying to track down her email address) and it took her over a week to respond.  No one, not even the President of the United States of America, should take over a week to respond to an email.  It's rude and it's unprofessional.  Yes, it's insanely busy and overwhelming for teachers during the first week of school.  Yes, she probably received 400 other emails.  But as the daughter of a teacher and a friend to many more, I know that good teachers prioritize communication between school and home.  Especially to newbies like kindergarten parents.  What made it worse was hearing how some of the other kindergarten teachers were apparently excelling in this department.  Oh, you got an email mid-morning every stinkin' day the first week telling you how awesome your baby was doing?  Salt in the wound, man.  Salt in the wound.  

That being said (written?), I finally got a response last night.  It was crazy short and curt and completely ignored my room parent offer, but I didn't care.  At this point I will take whatever I can get.  I am grateful for and hanging on every.single.word.  Maybe that was her plan.  I just wish she knew what an ally and support I could be.  So you're not technologically savvy (which, as a friend pointed out, is unacceptable in the year 2014)? I will put together and distribute a monthly calendar for you because I guarantee the other parents would much appreciate it.  I imagine that they, too, are getting tired of 8pm emails that state (and I quote):  "Your child is to wear _____ (color) to school tomorrow.  We are learning to read the color words.  Please continue to review the color words at home."  (No "Dear Parents" no "Thank you" no "It's been a good week".)  So the parapros aren't in the classes anymore and you're doing this all by yourself?  I will do whatever, whenever, where ever, and however you tell me to.  So you're overwhelmed and overworked?  I will come clean your house at night and massage your feet and read you a bedtime story.  HELP ME HELP YOU.  But you gotta reach out, sista.  

So that's been my biggest and only gripe so far.  David and I agreed, though, that it is conceivable that the teacher could be a horrible communicator and Audrey could still have a wonderful year and learn a lot.  I admit that if I have to choose, I would much prefer the teacher put her effort and energy into teaching, but I also need to know that there is an open channel there.  I don't expect everyone to operate the way I do - lawdy, the human race would've died out years ago from heart attacks.  Still, I hope to see some improvement in this area.  She's been teaching for many years and we've heard positive things from those who know her, so I'm trusting she knows what she's doing.  I just wouldn't mind hearing about what it is she is doing every once in awhile.  It's kindergarten, not middle or high school.  

But we'll supposedly get a ton of info at Curriculum Night next week.  I also joined the PTA Spirit Night committee to have a very low-key link to that group.  I didn't want to overcommit because I'm still holding out hope for room parent position, though at this point, I'm questioning what I'll be getting myself into with this one.  (Side note to hiring employees:  Room parent is a completely valid work experience position on a resume.)

After ranting about all that, I feel like I need to end on a more positive note.  I adore everything I've seen from the administration up there and how huge parent involvement is.  At the first Spirit Night, the response was amazing.  The principal and several APs were there alongside a dozen teachers (including Audrey's who came out from her post scooping ice cream to give her a hug - major points!)  I talked to several of the PTA members and they all agreed that you never have to worry about folks showing up to support the school.  They come out in droves, thank goodness.  I hope to see that more for myself as the year gears up and I get to volunteer in different capacities.  

I know. I can almost hear you: just have patience, Heather.  It's only week two.  Waiting has never been my strong suite, for sure.  Thankfully I've become fairly good at hiding that struggle to the imposing party and playing it cool.  I often recall a quote from a character on one of my favorite shows, Scrubs, "You can't let all your crazy out of the bottle at one time."  

So, in summary, Audrey is handling it like the rock star she is and I'm coping pretty well...or at least, hiding my crazy pretty well.  Because underneath or behind or somewhere surrounding all of this is the main issue:  My baby girl is a kindergartener.  I have less of a say (or even a knowledge of) what goes on in most of her day.  Even deeper than that...she doesn't need me to.  She doesn't need me as much, period.  It's going to take more than a week and a half to get used to that for sure.  I don't know if a Mama ever does.  They just learn to hide it with the rest of their crazy.