Christmas 2014 & December Recap

Fair warning, this post is a doozie.  Then again, it was a doozie of month!  Just be sure you're not late to any meetings because you get caught up in the awesomeness.  

December was...well, it was December.  Slammed busy at some points, peaceful at others, full of family and friends and food, and covered in glitter.  This year, as with most other years, I attempted to block off a bunch of white space in our calendar.  That meant turning down more than one invitation, which I did with a sense of half-pride and half-guilt, but don't regret a bit.  I feel like right now is the "golden age" with the kids both still believing in Santa and I want so badly to soak up every bit of the holidays.  It's not like I won't want to when they're older, it's just that, well, there's something very magical and innocent about it all right now.  You know, before the requests for the i-whatever start rolling in and then they have to leave after lunch to go to their boyfriend's or girlfriend's houses.  I better move on before I get all emotional about it right now...

So, in an effort to make the most of the season/month/break, we created a "bucket list" of sorts.  I did the same for summer and it was great.  I know that most people would find this practice to be a bit...much...but I have discovered that it helps our family tremendously. We all brainstorm ideas to put on there and we aim to keep things very feasible.  If they don't all get checked off (they didn't on summer's, but did here), I don't freak out.  I don't feel like a failure or guilty.  I just keep that in mind for next time.  And then, and this has proven to be the best part for me personally, when the time has passed and I think, "Oh! I should've done this and that!  We didn't soak it up enough!  We didn't seize the moment/day/opportunity",  I look back at this list and tell myself to calm down.  In it lies proof that we did some incredibly fun things and lived it up to the max.   

So now that you have an overview of some of the cool stuff we did this month, let me break it down in a little more detail:

Way back at the end of October, we were asked by our church to do the shopping for a local family in need.  Through no fault of their own, they weren't able to get us a wish list from the family and a budget until the beginning of December.  Now, most people would have a field day with this.  Me?  Hi, my name is Heather Sinyard and I have OCD.  It is very stressful to have a tight budget, seven people to shop for that you know nothing about except age and gender, and  a very limited time frame.  I started hunting down donations for some of the bigger ticket items and then David and I had a date night and tried to knock out a big chunk of it together.  I dragged Luke out to do the clothes and shoes shopping on the first Friday and he was a complete trooper.  

To reward his patience and take a break, that evening we headed over to the Suwanee Town Center Christmas Celebration.  Unfortunately, they didn't have it hosted by a local church as they've done in the past and the new event didn't have nearly the same level of activities.  Nonetheless, the kids had a good time roasting marshmallows and hearing a school chorus sing a few songs before we headed home early because of the drizzle.  

That first weekend was full of wrapping all the gifts we'd bought the adopted family and finishing up decorating around the house.  That Sunday afternoon, we went to Cookies and Cocoa with Santa, which is an incredible event that our neighborhood puts on at the clubhouse.  The kids were a little nervous, but Luke pushed it down and courageously started walking right up to the jolly ol' elf.  As soon as AJ saw that, she couldn't let her baby brother show her up and joined him.  They sat and Audrey read Santa their letters and they chatted for a minute while I got some great pictures.  Afterward, they ate cookies and colored a picture while their hot chocolate cooled off.  We took some more pictures outside and then headed home.  (By the way, in case you're wondering and/or for my own memory later, AJ asked for an Aurora dress, a Belle doll, and some surprises.  Luke asked for a Jake and the Neverland Pirates DVD, a dinosaur toy, and some surprises.)

That Monday, I picked Audrey up early from school and took her to lunch, Christmas shopping for her dad and brother, and her eye doctor appointment.  Unfortunately she had not improved enough to be finished with patching, which frankly, well...it just sucks.  No nicer way to say it (though I can think of a few uglier ways.)  Plus, the doc wanted us to continue and come back in twelve weeks instead of six, so UGG.  Three more months of remembering and nagging, nagging, nagging.  On an unrelated but related note: the toe walking has improved a bit, but we haven't been keeping up the stretching very well and no, I can't even think about putting physical therapy appointments on my plate right now.  We'll cross that bridge in February. May I just take a moment to praise the Lord that this is all we have to deal with?  I cannot fathom how mamas with more serious medical issues or of more than two kids do it.  

That week we hosted a dinner with our campus pastor and his family and our co-small group leaders.  I kept it simple with a taco bar, rice, and beans (had to be kid-and allergy-friendly) It was a lot of fun getting to know them a little better and a lot of crazy with six kids six and under running around.  On Wednesday I spent three hours volunteering at Audrey's school and eating lunch with her.  The kids were so cute telling me what they wanted for Christmas.  Well, except the three that said "iPads".  Puh-lease.  (But hey, bring them in for Bring Your Own Device Day, because my kindergartener sure isn't going to take ours in!) Most of the rest just said they were asking for surprises.  That evening, we met up with our old "Cobb County Crew" friends for dinner and had an awesome time catching up and laughing.  I've said it 1,000 times before, but man there is something so special about having "knew you when..." friends.  

That week also happened to hold two surgeries for ones very dear to my heart.  A precious friend having serious knee surgery a state away and my niece having to come up to Atlanta to have a plate put in her broken arm that refused to heal right.  Both amazing ladies came out on top of course.  That Sunday afternoon, Audrey and I went to go visit Annelise where she was recovering at her maternal grandparents' house.  The girls had a great time catching up and playing for awhile.  After we left, I drove Audrey around some of my old stomping ground and took her by the church I was baptized in and, years and a few churches in between later, married in.  We also stopped by my first house that I lived in from birth to second grade.  It was surreal having her stand in those places I once stood at her age, but very special.  

The third week was a bit of a blur, as we delivered the gifts to the family we'd shopped for, hosted my Dad and stepmom for dinner for my Dad's birthday, and then finished the final preparations for Audrey's class party and gifts for her teachers.  My co-room mom's husband had surgery the day before the party, so she was unable to come up to the school the day before and help me set up.  Fortunately, I have an amazing husband who had worked his butt off measuring and cutting out things to make the gingerbread door decor - my pièce de résistance.  I worked most of the day that Wednesday putting it up along with the inside classroom decor and it turned out really well.  

The party kicked off at 8:30am and was a huge hit.  We had five stations for groups of 3-4 kids to rotate through every ten minutes:  making reindeer food, "catching" the gingerbread man with a fishing pole, Christmas bingo, decorating a gingerbread man cookie, and painting a gingerbread boy or girl ornament.  The one thing that could've been better was the rotation of the centers.  It got a little chaotic because so many parents jumped in and tried to "help."  Oh, well.  Live and learn.  Next time I'll take one minute at the start of the party and explain what the process will be.  Everyone still had a great time doing each of the activities and that's what matters.  After they finished, the teacher took them out of the class while we did a few minutes of cleaning up and fixing their plates for them.  Handling it that way was per the teacher's request and it worked out great.  It's like she's done this before...  They came back in and ate a huge feast that we'd all brought in.  Donut holes, fruit, chicken minis, cookies, crackers - they were stuffed!  The teacher gathered them around to listen to the Gingerbread Boy book while we wiped off tables and pulled down some of the decorations.  Audrey was sad to see us go when it was all over (that's right, David came too because he ROCKS).  I know she had a blast, which makes every hour and dollar spent worth it.  One day it won't be so cool for Mommy to throw the parties, so I'll take it while I can.  

I'd purposely planned a date that night for David and I to celebrate the end of the hard work of the season.  I ended up having to do some stuff for my job, so I headed to the restaurant early and got it done while I was waiting on him.  He joined me around 5 and we ate then went...drumroll, please...ice skating!  We hadn't done it in years and it was a lot of fun.  He used to play ice hockey, so he has way more skill than I do.  And by "way more", I mean I stand very close to the wall and use one foot to push myself around and will myself not to fall every two seconds while he's doing skating backwards and doing zig zags.  I kept asking him if he thought I was ready for a triple axle jump, but he kept refusing.  Not a risk taker, that one.  We enjoyed ourselves tremendously, though, and talked about a lot as little kids zoomed past me.  Show-offs.  

That Friday, the three of us took little gifts in to Audrey's specials' teachers (PE, music, art, theather arts, guidance, media center) and administrators and then Luke and I left AJ to finish up her last day and headed home to have a big baking fest.  We made 8-10 dozen cookies to give away to various neighbors and people.  When Audrey got off the bus, we rushed to Hobby Lobby to pick up a couple more tins for them and something else to squeeze in a package for my grandfather, who was in a rehab facility after a bad fall at Thanksgiving broke his sternum.  I kept checking my watch in a panic, trying to make it to the post office before it closed at 5:00pm.  I berated myself for not doing it earlier in the day, but I'd just run out of time.  All I could focus on was wanting to get him fresh, homemade cookies as close to Christmas as possible.  

We pulled in the post office parking lot at 4:44 and I breathed a sigh of relief...until I noticed the sign on the door had their hours listed as 9:00am - 4:45pm.  What ensued next was ugly, y'all.  I grabbed the children, rushed inside, and pitched a holy fit (though completely clean-mouthed, miraculously) about the stupidity of closing at 4:45.  I mean, really.  4:30?  Sure.  But who the heck closes on the quarter of an hour?!  Obviously the root of my issue was much deeper as I stood there thinking about my grandfather with tears stinging in my eyes.  The clerk ultimately refused to help me, but thankfully told me about the post office down the street that stayed open until 6pm.  I walked outside, calmed down, apologized to the kids for losing my cool (I thought for days about going back to the clerk and saying I was sorry - it wasn't her fault.  I still haven't done it yet.)  We went to the other post office, got the packages mailed off, dropped off a tin of cookies at the fire station, and got home in time to eat a late McDonald's dinner that my dear husband had thrown me a lifeline and picked up for us.  

We caught our breath for a minute with the Frosty the Snowman movie and tried to switch gears from preparation to celebration.  The next day was Christmas #1 with David's Mom's side of the family in Alabama.  The kids kicked things off by opening a few gifts and then we dragged out the big tables and ate a feast that never ceases to amaze or stuff me.  Gift opening commenced after lunch and the adults got to join in, too.  We paused only long enough to go get another plate of dessert.  Luke went down for a nap and Audrey dug into some of her crafty presents.  She disappeared into the back room for a little while to escape the crowd, but made sure she had a grandparent with her so she'd have a little bit of an audience.  She's my introverted girl and I'm really trying to recognize when she needs her space and let her have it.  We finished opening gifts and hung out chatting, snoozing, and playing for the rest of the afternoon.  We loaded up the van, headed back across the Georgia state line, and made it home just in time for dinner and bed. 

The next morning we got up and got ready for church.  David's parents joined us for the special Christmas service and then we went to brunch afterward.  The next couple of days were spent cleaning house, finishing final details/wrapping, and being lazy.  On Monday night, David took Audrey out for dinner and to go shopping for me while Luke and I hung out and cleaned.  On Tuesday, I wrote some ideas of stuff to do on strips of paper and let the kids draw them from a jar.  They'd do each thing for ten minutes and I'd take a "play break" and join in with them on the third thing (or after twenty minutes of them playing by themselves.)  It worked amazingly well and I've already migrated the items onto colorful popsicle sticks because I can tell this will come in handy for a long, long time.  Everything was done and clean and it was time for Christmas #2 and #3.  David and I put the kids to bed that night and took a moment to savor the peace.  We slow danced to The Christmas Song with just the tree lights on and went to bed feeling grateful.  

David's parents came over early Christmas Eve morning.  We let the kids stay in their pajamas as they tore through gift after gift.  The adults squeezed in our exchanges here and there between assembling toys and cleaning up.  David's mom brought over a yummy casserole and we paused for lunch and then more playtime before they headed out and the kids went down for nap/rest.  While they slept, I started cooking a few dishes for the next day's meals and when they woke up, we baked and decorated Christmas cookies for Santa...and ourselves.  For dinner, we ate our usual Christmas Eve tacos.  The kids changed from pajamas to pajamas (life is so rough, isn't it?!) and opened their ornaments.  Luke got a Where the Wild Things Are one because he loves that book and this was the year he really began to fall in love with hearing stories.  Audrey got a personalized "First Day of Kindergarten" bus ornament.  The kids put out the cookies they'd made along with a glass of milk and carrot and a bag of magic food for the reindeer.  Audrey was panicking about getting to bed so Santa could come and Luke, well-aware that he was supposed to be, kept running around yelling, "I'm tired!  I'm tired!"  We calmed them down long enough to read the Christmas story out of the Bible and The Night Before Christmas before tucking them in.  Audrey didn't even want her little bedside tree turned on because she wanted to fall right to sleep.  When we were sure the stirring had stopped, we signaled Santa.  

The next morning, I woke up, showered, and got the sausage balls and cinnamon rolls ready to bake.  Finally around 7:15, I begged David to let me get the sleepyhead kids up.  We made them wait at the top of the stairs and then I walked down with them to see what Santa had brought.  Luke began stacking his stuff on the couch like he was ready to put it away to make sure he didn't have to give it back!  Audrey immediately wanted to put on her Aurora dress and she lit up when she looked at her beautiful self in the bathroom mirror.  

We played for a few minutes and then took a break to eat a tasty breakfast, complete with Santa cokes in glass bottles for David and I.  We got back to work opening gifts and stockings and spent the morning until lunch playing and laying around.  The kids watched a minute of Jake and the Neverland Pirates DVD that Santa brought Luke while we fixed lunch.  We ate and then played the gift the kids got David - a Xbox Kinect and sports game.  They looked so cute "skiing" and attempting golf, though golf was very frustrating and probably won't be repeated again soon.  

We put them down for rest/naps and did our traditional date gift exchange.  For mine, David got us tickets to go see John Heffron, a comedian that won last comic standing a few years ago, and I got him a gift certificate to Top Golf, a fancy driving range "experience" in Alpharetta.  The kids woke up and we let them play some more while we started putting together dinner.  I shooed everyone out of the kitchen to go play Kinect while I finished up and then we sat in the dining room in our pajamas/lounge clothes and ate ham, macaroni, rolls, deviled eggs, green beans, corn pudding, and potato salad.  It was no Alabama Grandma feast, but it ate. :)  We cleaned up and then prepared to give the kids their last gift (they only get three each from us, we'd just managed to stretch it out all day.)  With the video camera rolling and bated breath, we let them unwrap the thing we'd been waiting to give them for months:  a box of Disney items to reveal our plan to take them to Disney World in January.

Me:  "Audrey, what do those things all have in common?"
AJ:  "Princesses?"
(after more prodding...)
Me:  "Do you want to go to Disney World?"
AJ:  "No."

Huh.  Well, crap.  

Here's what I know about my kid: You will rarely, if ever, get a jump-up-and-down reaction out of her for anything.  She just doesn't do that.  Luke does, but she does not.  And she doesn't like big surprises like that, which I totally understand.  However, I still was not expecting a NO, for pete's sake!

Now in her defense, a conversation had gone down a few days earlier in which she said she wished we could go there sometime.  I seized that opportunity to make a big deal out of how special a trip like that is, how much money it costs, etc.  SO, I think when I asked her, she didn't want to make me feel bad because she thought there was no way we were going.  
At least, that's what I'm sticking with.  

So, after I showed her some videos on Youtube about WHAT exactly it was and how amazing it would be, she began to warm up to the idea.  By the end of the night, she was singing a little about it.  Progress.  We ended the day by me giving David a set of Samsonite suitcases I was really pumped about surprising him with and his reaction was a little more in line with what I'd expected.  Everyone curled up in their beds happy and content from an incredible Christmas day.

I woke up early the next morning to squeeze in a little post-Christmas shopping before our next celebration.  Leaving the kids and David nestled in their beds, I drove through Starbucks and got treated by the customer in front of me, which has never happened before and was such a sweet surprise.  I pulled into the Target parking lot just before they opened and waited.  As the manager unlocked the doors, a line of people rushed to the Christmas section.  I made my way there to join them, but didn't see much I couldn't live without.  I grabbed a couple of things here and there and then went to Kohl's and did the same.  I headed to Hobby Lobby and got there at 9:05am (five minutes after they opened) and could barely move in the wrapping paper aisle.  Again, I grabbed a few things, but didn't get a ton and then went to Parson's, a local upscale gift and home decor boutique.  It wasn't as crazy as it had been last year, and I found an adorable miniature Radio Flyer wagon for decoration under one of our trees and then met David and the kids in the parking lot.  We headed to Christmas #4 at my Dad and Stepmom's house.  The kids watched their new Mr. Rogers DVD (old school!) as we wound through country backroads and enjoyed the scenery.  

We were the first to arrive and caught up with my Dad and Stepmom and all they'd done to their new place.  My dad had set up one of his trains around a tree in the front living room and Audrey and Luke loved watching it and pressing the sound buttons on the control. After the others got there, we fixed lunch and ate.  The kids were ready to jump into present opening, but I used that as motivation to make everyone pose for family pictures first.  They humored me and then got permission to dive into the gifts from Grandpa and Grandma.  It was so fun to have all five opening gifts at the same time and dodge the paper flying everywhere.  The girls got huge craft kits and immediately wanted to color together.  Carson got Nerf guns, so the boys immediately wanted to color with the girls.  No wait.  That's not at all what happened.  :)  The adults tried to carry on conversations amidst the Nerf fights, car races on the giant mat Luke got, Frozen and Shrinky Dinks coloring sessions, and begging for cookies.  It was Christmas with little kids - the very best kind of Christmas there is.  We left a few hours later with our bellies full of food and our minds full of some great new memories.  

We drove back home and the kids watched more Mr. Rogers while David and I talked about financial plans for the next year.  Nothing rounds out a fun day of family like a business meeting.  (I'm actually not being sarcastic.  I love a good business meeting.)  We went home and cleaned up the house a little for Christmas #5.  

Around 10am the next morning, our sweet friends the Taylors arrived.  They now live in South Carolina, but were in town visiting Kara's family for the holidays.  Having just had knee surgery, I was worried about Kara getting around, but should've known better.  Like the Superwoman that she is, she was able to do just about everything as normal.  We let the older kids play while steering Reid away from the tree.  He is in full-on mobile and curiosity mode, which is not at all foreign to me having had two kids, but it's amazing how quickly you forget the energy that takes!  We ordered pizza (because I'm an amazing hostess.  No, actually because I needed something easy and our friends love us enough to get that and not care.)  We ate and caught up on each other's upcoming house projects, trips, and happenings.  In the middle of the conversation, my heart began to ache with the wish that they still lived close, but I tried to pull my head back into enjoying the moment.  As the boys began fading, we knew our visit was coming to an end and we rounded up the kids for goodbye hugs.  It was such a wonderful time and I love being able to pick up right where we left off with them. 

That afternoon, I set out dishes and tidied up in preparation for our sixth and final Christmas the next day.  My brothers, their families, and my mom came over around 10am that Sunday morning.  I set out some spicy corn dip and buffalo chicken dip and we grazed before the usual pictures-before-presents routine.  The kids were experts by this point and gladly obliged before opening gifts from each other and my mom.  We were able to coerce them into a break for lunch and corralled everyone into the kitchen.  My mom brought some delicious chowder for lunch and we ate salad, corn muffins, and chowder until we were really full and then stuffed ourselves with the variety of cookies, brownies, and cupcakes everyone had brought.  (I have NO idea where all this extra weight came from, by the way!)  The kids got their second wind and a sugar high, so I sent everyone down to the basement to run some of it off for a little bit while the adults attempted to talk without interruption for a few minutes.  I mused at how crazy it was that the five of them could go play by themselves for awhile without direct supervision.  We've come a long way, baby.  

Around 2pm, everyone started fading and began to gather up their gifts, food, and respective children to head out.  We said our goodbyes and put our feet up for a few minutes.  It was all over.  6 celebrations in 9 days, 30+ different loved ones (several seen multiple times!), 3 locations (4 events at our place), tons of delicious food, many wonderful gifts, and a partridge in a pear tree.  We were tired, but man, were we grateful.  

The very next day, having the assurance that we celebrated the heck out of the holidays, we dragged down all of the decoration boxes from the attic and started packing stuff away.  It was earlier than we usually do it, but I knew both David and I were going to start back to work that Wednesday and Friday.  I wanted to begin to creep our way back to reality instead of waiting and getting smacked upside the head with it.  We kept the tree up, but over the next several days everything else began to come down.  By Friday when we sent the kids to his parents' house, only the tree remained and we sat around and wrapped ornaments while watching episode after episode of the West Wing that we'd borrowed from friends.

I skipped over my birthday and New Year's, so let me back up for a minute.  My birthday was a very low-key, but fun day.  I got up and went for a run and then we got ready and went to a bookstore.  Audrey and I could've sat there all day and read, but after about an hour (they had toys and a train table too) the boys were getting a little antsy, so we went across the street and looked around in a store or two before hitting Chick-fil-A for lunch.  We went home and all took naps, got up and opened my presents (a spa robe/rap and necklace set from the kids, D had given me a video camera before Christmas), and then made a couple of Christmas gift returns on the way to dinner at a nice Italian restaurant.  We got home and had Great American Cookie Company cake (YUM...and again, what's with all this weight?!)  For the most part, the kids treated me like I was the special birthday girl all day long.  And if they forgot and began to fight or whine, I was unashamedly quick to throw that at them.  It's SO nice that they're getting to the age where they get that!  It was a fantastic day full of my three favorite people and many of my favorite things (running, shopping, spending time with my family, and good food!)

David and I both worked on New Year's Eve and Audrey went to her grandparents' house for a few hours by herself to soak up a little one on two time.  Luke and I went to the grocery store and did some more undecorating.  That evening we ate dinner and David watched GT in the Orange Bowl while I edited pictures.  Around 11:30pm we decided to open some champagne and get ready to ring in 2015.  The older I get, the less about pop culture I know or appreciate, so we didn't stay tuned much past midnight.  We toasted to 2015, finished watching some post-game highlights (Go Jackets!), and turned out the lights.  It was a simple way to send out December and 2014, but, again, the older I get, the more I realize that simple is where it's at.  We were together and we were healthy...little else matters. 

So that was December with ALL of its festivities.  It was a great month full of loved ones and busy with creating new memories.  I hope your Christmas was as merry and that your year was as full.  To 2014:  Thanks.  To 2015:  Ready or not, here we come!

December/Christmas pictures can be viewed here.

November 2014 Recap

You didn't think I'd be back, did you?  Well as Luke has taken to saying lately when he's victorious, "Ha-HA!"  Here I am again, snuggled in the sunroom at 6am in the morning.  It's my favorite spot in the house, especially this time of year.  The slim Christmas tree in the corner is lit, as are the icicle lights on the back deck.  Sarah McLaughlin's Wintersong is playing on my computer, warm hot chocolate is steaming on the coffee table, and, Lord willin', I have a full hour to get most of this done before someone wakes up.  Here we go:

We started November out in a wonderful way by joining some of our oldest and dearest friends for a Georgia Tech game with some tailgating beforehand.  We have started trying to do this once per year and last year's game was so hot that we aimed for a later game this go-round.  We never imagined it would be as freezing cold as it was!  The girls huddled in the back of our 4Runner with the gate up while we ate delicious Chick-fil-A chicken nuggets (a must when one of the group owns one and one works for corporate), sub sandwiches, buffalo chicken dip, and famous Mama O'Kelley cookies made by one of our friend's moms - a favorite treat since about 1999.  We each had layers upon layers of clothes on and still nearly froze walking over to the stadium.  It was about 32 degrees, which isn't terrible, but the wind was biting.  We managed to stay until the beginning of the fourth quarter so we could do the Budweiser song (a tradition) and then power-walked back to the car.

The first full week, David had to head to California and Colorado for work.  Audrey had Election Day off, which was wonderful.  It's been three months since she started kindergarten and I still miss her terribly.  We didn't do anything super special, just shopped for our Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes, enjoyed lunch out, and visited the park for a long time, but I loved having her with us.  On Wednesday, I had a room mom meeting with my co-leader and we began to map out the "Winter Holiday" party.  Afterwards, I volunteered in the classroom for a couple of hours and stayed to eat lunch with Audrey.  David came home the next day and then, that Saturday, we all headed to Villa Rica for my nephew's third birthday party.  My sister-in-law Jenny had done an incredible job with the bug-themed cake and cute decorations and we let the cousins have a picnic in the family room floor and then listened to them put on a musical performance after James had opened his presents and got a new little microphone.  

The second week of the month, David and I met for a dinner date before attending a meeting at church. Our new campus pastor had approached us about Christmas shopping for a local family on the church's behalf and the meeting had all of the details.  Unfortunately, it lacked the actual family info and shopping list, but more on that later.  The end of the week, we celebrated Audrey's teacher's birthday by baking a pound cake and taking her flowers, her favorite drink, breakfast, and a gift card from the class.  She seemed so appreciative of all of the goodies and as I dropped everything off, I reminded the kids to try extra hard to behave that day.  I imagine it worked for at least twenty minutes.  God bless teachers.  That weekend, we walked the Lanier Under the Lights 5K at Lake Lanier Islands with the kids and David's parents.  Although cold, it was a really neat way to begin the holiday season.  I packed the kids some hot chocolate and we enjoyed seeing all of the cool displays on foot.  

Week three began with church and taking our shoeboxes in for Samaritan's Purse.  The kids had done a fantastic job of shopping for them.  They'd chosen things with careful thought, gently packed them, and prayed over them.  We watched a video online about the kids that receive them and I cried as I once again realized how blessed we are.  I was really thankful that Audrey and Luke seemed to truly "get it" and was so proud watching them tote the boxes into church.  

That Monday evening, I was asked to attend an HOA meeting to present my neighborhood 5K proposal.  Thankfully, it was a small crowd and, Kelly, my sweet small group co-leader surprised me by showing up to offer her moral support.  Everything went well and the general consensus seems to be that it's a go, but they want to gauge neighbors' interest a little more.  They were planning on sending out a resident survey at the beginning of December and will add a question or two about whether a neighborhood 5K would be something people would participate in.  Once they gather those results and see what the response is, they'll make their final decision about granting approval.  

Towards the end of the week, Audrey had a Thanksgiving "play" at school.  Three of the little kindergarten classes participated and the kids were either turkeys, corn, pilgrim women, pilgrim men, Indian women, or Indian men.  She was a pilgrim woman along with about a dozen other little girls and they would say "Mercy Me!" at certain parts of the narrated story.  It was so precious!  They did about eight songs and she sang every word, but didn't look like she was having a blast.  She looked adorable, though, and I couldn't help but sit there and take in the reality that this was going to be one of the last cutsie little programs she would do.  I imagine by first or second grade, this kind of stuff goes away.  

That Friday morning, I took Audrey to school and ran around with Luke gathering donuts and favorite drinks to take in for Audrey's student teacher's last day.  We went up to the school to drop off the food for the class and a gift I'd gotten her from everyone (seriously, not only is being a room mom a part-time job, but it is expensive!)  Between party planning, volunteering, the teacher's birthday, the play, and the student teacher's last day, I am starting to see where the majority of November's money and time was spent.  

That Friday night, the kids went to David's parents' to spend the night while David and I dragged out the Christmas decorations and began to assemble the big tree.  (I know, I know...it was before Thanksgiving!  When you have 25+ boxes of decorations and three trees, you have to start early!)  The kids came back that Saturday to a half-decorated winter wonderland and the six of us all ate a spaghetti dinner together to help me carb up for my race the next day.  

Sunday morning dawned bright and early and...rainy.  I'd made up my mind I was going to run my half marathon as long as it was being held.  As I drove the hour across town to the park where it was going to be, I tried to mentally prepare myself for the challenge.  I sat in the car for as long as I could and then grabbed an umbrella to head to the pavilion where everyone was gathered (no sense in getting drenched before I even started!)  In addition to dry clothes for afterward, I had packed an extra shirt, jacket, socks, and shoes in case I wanted to change mid-race.  They started the clock and we headed for the five loops and an out-and-back course, whose boredom would prove to be a hurdle in and of itself.  The first couple of miles as I watched the water droplets fall off of the corner of my ball cap, I thought "This is amazing!  This is so hardcore!  You are doing this!"  By mile four I was thinking, "This is insane.  This is miserable.  WHY are you doing this!?"  But I knew why - because once you do hard things like run half marathons in single digit wind chills (last November) and pouring rain, something in you changes and you realize "hey, I can do really, really hard things."  That sense of accomplishment can never be taken away.  It gives me strength to draw from when other tough stuff comes.  

Finally, after running for what seemed like days, I crossed the finish line.  Because of the awful weather, David and the kids had stayed home, so it was an anti-climatic and lonely finish, but it was finally over.  Drenched doesn't begin to describe it.  My pants had stretched out from the water so I had run on the bottom of them for most of the race.  My shoes were so water-logged and heavy that my quads ached for days afterward.  My time wasn't the greatest, but it was by far my most mentally challenging race to date.  I'd made it and I had the medal with the wrong date to prove it.  (Seriously.)  Still, there's nothing like that satisfaction and I praised God for giving me the strength and endurance...and hot water for one of the most painful showers of my life (chaffing).

The rest of the week was a breeze compared to Sunday, especially since I had purposely lined up some relaxation and fun so I could think about it during the run.  Audrey was out all week and Monday was spent mainly chilling and relaxing together, with a long afternoon at the park.  On Tuesday, our favorite non-family sitter came over while I went to get my hair done and then...drumroll, please...got a massage.  I'd purchased a Groupon at the beginning of the year and thought I'd have no problem using it.  Turns out I barely made it before it expired.  

That Wednesday afternoon, David got off work early and we drove up to his parents' house to celebrate with his Dad's side of the family.  We ate a ton of delicious food and then Luke tossed a little ball around with people and Audrey played waitress as we sat around and caught up.  We headed home and put the kids to bed and then woke up the next morning and drove to David's aunt's house to celebrate with his mom's side of the family.  It was supposed to be my side's year, but we rearranged things since both sets of my parents had plans.   The Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade was on and everyone chatted while the finishing touches were laid out.  We stuffed ourselves some more and then topped it off with a huge buffet of desserts.  When everyone's stomachs were sufficiently miserable, David's Aunt Pat gave the kids some toy snowballs and we had a huge fake snowball fight in their mostly empty bonus room.  Everyone had an absolute blast, especially listening to Luke yell "HA!" and watching him hike his leg up to pitch a ball at someone.  It took me 45 minutes to get him calmed down enough to take a short nap, but it was totally worth it.  When he got up, we packed up and headed back to our house to do our traditional tree decorating and lighting. 

The next day was sheer perfection, y'all.  I stayed up pretty late doing some Black Friday shopping online, so I slept in until nearly 7am, which is a rare treat in our house.  We got up and ate breakfast and then decorated our other two trees, the kids' table top trees, and the outside.  We had no agenda and zero place to be.  I kept thinking there was something I was forgetting to do and somewhere we needed to get ready to go to, and then I'd be pleasantly surprised as I remembered neither was true.  We ate and rested and decorated and chilled and ate some more.  It was fantastic.

The next day, we opted to get out and do a little shopping before the crowds got bad.  We hunted around 4-5 different places for a snowman to put in the front yard and finally found one at Walmart, along with the perfect lights for AJ's tree per her request (colored, non-LED with white wire - nearly impossible!  I have no idea where the girl gets her OCD for finding just the right thing she has visualized!)  We ate lunch at Buffalo's and then came home for Audrey and I to change clothes and go see The Nutcracker at the Gwinnett Center.  It was a wonderful girls' afternoon out.  Though the show was a little long for both our tastes (I like my culture in short doses), she truly loved it.  I watched her way more than the actual show.  At one point when the snow began to fall onstage, her mouth literally dropped open.  It was magical to see it through her eyes.  We headed home, got in pajamas, and ate pizza while watching Frosty.  To say it was a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend doesn't do it justice.  

The last day of the month we had church and then our small group social that afternoon.  We ended the semester on such a great note, celebrating with friends who had become closer and strangers who had become friends over the course of fourteen weeks.  We'll be co-leading again next semester and are looking forward to continuing to learn and serve with those returning.  

So we started and ended the month on fantastic notes with a whole lot of good stuff in the middle.  It would've been a lot shorter post if I'd just written that, huh?!  Sorry it is so long, but apparently I had a lot to say about all of the cool happenings!

I'm working on gathering, organizing, and editing pictures and will update when they're posted.  

Sept/Oct 2014 Recap

Hello dear readers.  Let's go ahead and get the elephant out of the room: it's been a while.  I knew I wouldn't have time to blog as much as I liked once I started working.  Though I don't work many hours, the hours taken up by working are the hours I used to spend doing things like blogging, remembering people's birthdays, and returning library books on time.  (Oh my stars, they should name a wing of that place after me.  Or at least put a plaque by a tree outside.  Something for my financial contributions.  And yes, I KNOW I can renew online or by phone.  My brain doesn't seem to remember that fact when it matters.)

Anyway, let's jump in so maybe I can get Sept/Oct Recap finished and then post November's separately  (Quit laughing.  It's possible.)  It's gonna be fast, furious, and bullet-pointed, so hold on to your seats:

September:

• The four of us sent summer out in style and went to the Lake Lanier Islands Waterpark one Saturday.  I have zero pictures, but it was a great morning and the kids had a blast.  

• David and I did the KP Corporate Challenge 5K in downtown Atlanta with his company.  It was crazy crowded and, though we've done it for 5-6 years, this year may have been our last.  Too many people, too expensive, and too hot.

• We began co-leading a married couples' small group.  We meet every Sunday, but trade off who leads/hosts with another couple in our neighborhood.  

• We went to Suwanee Days Parade and Festival.  The kids liked getting their faces painted by the high school art club and watching one of the local dance studios perform on stage.  

• We went to a little friend's birthday party at Catch Air, had several play dates, and went to our first Spirit Night.  

• David traveled.  A lot.

• It seemed like all at once, Luke hit several "secondary milestones".  You know the kind of things I'm talking about - stuff you don't really notice changed at first, but when you do, you get really sad (especially if it's your last baby.)  Things like no more highchairs in restaurants, sitting on his own during a haircut, and starting to pronounce words correctly that he'd always previously gotten wrong (i.e "aldigator" is now "alligator", "lellow" is now "yellow".)

• I started considering training for another half and tried to run accordingly.  It was a pretty pitiful plan, but I squeezed in as much as I could.  

• We had Audrey's eye appointment and ortho appointment, which you can read about here.

• We tried potty training and quit after a week, which you can read more about here.

October:

• I took a girls' trip to Charleston, SC with my friend Kara, who you may remembered moved to SC in 2013.  It was the first girls' trip I've taken since my senior year of high school and it was fabulous.  We ran a 10K (I set a PR), got pedicures, shopped the local artisan's market, ate delicious food, and talked and laughed nonstop.  FUN and MUCH NEEDED. 

• Work finally began to click for me and my efficiency picked way up.  You can tell because I published double the blog posts that I did in September (only going from 2 to 4, but still...)

• David traveled some more.

• We got some great time in with all of the grandparents.  My mom came out for a visit, my dad and stepmom came over for dinner, and we went to see my father-in-law's airplane for the first time and have lunch with him and my mother-in-law for his birthday.  It makes me smile to look through pictures of October and see time spent with all three sets.  I wish it was like that every month!

• We had our two-story family room painted.

• Audrey had a follow-up eye appointment and the doctor was impressed with her improvement.  She told us to continue to patch for two hours a day for another six weeks.

• No news on AJ's legs.  We aren't the best at stretching, but we're trying.

• We took our annual trek up to Jaemor Farms to do the pumpkin patch, corn maze, and "hayride" one Saturday.  Other than being more crowded than I remember, Audrey pulling off a major pouting session because she didn't want to do the apple cannons (or even be near them, because they are TOO LOUD, MOMMY!), Luke whining to be held all through the corn maze, and David griping about me taking pictures, it was nice.  Surely one of those days we'll look back on and romanticize about how perfect it was.  

• Volunteering at Audrey's school and Small Group continued as usual.

• We had a Small Group picnic one beautiful Saturday.

• I kept training for my half and my knee started bugging me.

• David and I had TWO dates.  On one we went hiking around the Chattahoochee River then picked out plants for the front yard at Pike's and went to dinner.  The other we strolled around Walmart trying to get Christmas gift ideas for the kids and then ate dinner at a local seafood restaurant.  

• The kids had a great Halloween.  Audrey was a cowgirl and Luke was a cowboy.  We ate our traditional Mummy Dog dinner and set out for trick-or-treating a little after 6, before it even got dark (we learned last year that that's how this neighborhood rolls.)  We made it about an hour and fifteen minutes before it began to sprinkle and the kids were ready to pack it in.  We came home and gave out candy for about twenty minutes while they ate a few select pieces from their stash.  These ages are just a blast for holidays and I am trying to soak every bit of it up while they're old enough to get it and young enough to want us heavily involved in all aspects.  

So there you go.  September and October.  That didn't take to long to do...I wish I would've cranked it out sooner!

The pictures are in the gallery (which may look different now due to Google changes): 

September 2014 Photos

October 2014 Photos

Hope you'll come back soon for November! :) (And I hope I won't disappoint!)

Delayed Obedience

Years ago, my sweet friend LL used a phrase that has stuck with me.  She was explaining a problem she was having getting her daughter to listen and exasperatedly said, "Delayed obedience is disobedience!"  I now incorporate that concept into my own parenting multiple times a day as I snap my fingers at Luke and say "Immediate obedience, Buddy!"  It goes much deeper than the desire not to have to repeat myself, though that's definitely part of it.  My goal in training him to immediately do what I tell him to could very well be the thing that saves his life or keeps him from getting hurt.  It may be what stops him from running out into the street or walking behind a car backing up in the parking lot or tripping into a hole he can't see at the park.  I need him to hear my voice and do what I'm asking him to do at that very moment.  Delayed obedience = disobedience.

But, OH, how it's so very different when the parent-child relationship we're talking about is between God and us, amiright?  And let's be honest, it's not often a matter of life or death...as far as we know, anyway.  

Which brings me to what I want to share - my story of my most recent episode of delayed obedience.  Months ago (and if I'm honest, it was actually months and months ago), God started stirring something in me.  He was calling me to step up and do something big and specific.  It began in church one Sunday morning when the band played the song "Oceans" by Hillsong. 

If you haven't heard the beautiful, moving words, take a moment now to listen...I'll wait. (C'mon...immediate obedience!)  



As I stood there listening, I felt that God was asking me to organize a 5K in our neighborhood (not so crazy) to benefit a charity that fights human/sex trafficking in Atlanta (um, WHAT?!)  I had no direct experience with such an organization, I had no ties to the cause, and I had NO idea where to begin.  It came out of left field, which in my experience is often the first clue to me that it is from the Lord.  So what did I do?  Well naturally, I did the only logical thing I could think of:  I ignored it completely.  

Given the other "noise" and busyness in my life, ignoring it was actually not that difficult to do.  I'd forget about it during the week, but without fail that nudging would return on Sunday morning, especially when I heard that song again.  

"Okay, Lord, you want me to serve?  I'll lead a small group.  That's good enough, right?"  (There.  That should placate him for a while.)

No?   "But Gooooood (in the whiniest of whiney voices like my children use), I'm so busy.  Maybe in another season of life when things get calmer."  (I think I actually heard His audible laughter at the idea of that.)

And the list went on:  I don't wanna.  I can't.  Someone else will.  Later.  What if it flops?  They don't need my help.  What if I mess something up?  This is crazy.  Why me?  And the real mother-of-all reasons behind the others:  I'm SCARED.  

But one of my most favorite characteristics about our God is His patience when it comes to His children.  Unlike me when one of my kids doesn't obey, He never "snapped" or "lost it".  He never called down fire on my head.  When I think about it, He never even made me feel guilty.  He just waited, knowing that I was the one robbing myself of the blessing of obedience.  

As time passed, one part of the song kept echoing in my mind:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when I sat in another service at church.  This one was on the book of James and the main point was "Faith without works is dead."  Finally, I heard my "reasons" as the excuses they were.  I could keep ignoring Him or I could (wo)man up and do what God was calling me to do.  

I finally chose to step out of the boat.

The next day I emailed our HOA board.  Two days later, I spent an hour on the phone with a guy in the area that organizes races to figure out what was involved in putting on a 5K.  Less than a week after that call, I put together an official proposal and sent it off to the HOA board to review.  Obedience was in motion, and the weight that was lifted was incredible.  Make no mistake, I waited entirely too long, but fortunately for me, God was willing to wait too. 

So the wheels are in motion.  After talking to the race organizer, I really feel like I need to partner with him to help with the work, at least for this first race.  Perhaps if it becomes an annual tradition I can continue from his blueprint, but there is a ton for me to do even with his assistance.  When Satan's false guilt began to creep in about that and made me doubt whether it's all even worth it given the amount of money it would raise (getting $2,000 from this size/type of event would be considered fantastic), I started struggling.  My husband and a couple of sweet friends spoke encouraging words of confirmation and so I'm pressing on.  Whatever amount raised will be more than they had the day before and God can do incredible things with so much less than we think.  (See 2 fish and 5 loaves story.)

I am sure that there will be multiple moments of doubt in this process, but I pray God will continue to urge me forward regardless.  After all, the extremely freeing part about obeying Him is that you are not responsible for the outcome.  Don't miss that, y'all:  YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE OUTCOME.  Ahhhh, the relief!  

I am working on doing what He asked and I'm going to give it my best.  But the board's approval, the participation, the money raised, even the weather - all of that is on Him.  Of course I want it to go well, but I have this unusual peace in just focusing on my part.  

That being said, I would so appreciate your prayers and support right now as I wait to hear back from the HOA.  If they give me the green light, we'll jump in head-first to get something together by the spring.  I should get an answer in the next couple of weeks, so stay tuned.

In the meantime, I want to close with a word of encouragement:  If there is something - big or small - that God is calling you to do, please do it.  Delayed obedience equals disobedience.  Better late than never holds true for me this time, but I know that's not always the case.  There is such sweet reward in submitting to God.  Great cost and often a lot of work, yes, but y'all, there is such sweet reward.  

The Myth of Balance

I would not categorize myself as a "working mom" (such a misnomer as all moms work their butts off).  My extremely part-time job still allows me to keep Luke at home full-time this year and I do 90% of my work during his nap or after the kids are in bed from the comfort of my own home.  I realize this is a huge blessing and quite a contrast to the set-up most women have.  And let me be clear:  I enjoy what I do, I enjoy having something outside of mom-dom, and I enjoy financially contributing to our income again, however small the amount.

Still, that time has to come from somewhere and, boy, are there days.  They don't come often (but somehow usually coincide with my PMS) but they rear their ugly heads.  Days when I feel like I just can't. catch. my. breath.  Days when the guilt creeps in and I find myself thinking things like, "Brinner/spaghetti/store-bought chicken for dinner again, Heather?" or "Exactly when was the last time you cleaned that bathroom/changed those sheets/mopped that floor?" or "Have you called/texted/email so-and-so recently?  What kind of a daughter/sister/friend are you?" 

I know I am not alone in this nor did those thoughts just begin surfacing with the start of my job.  I don't know of anyone who wears multiple hats that doesn't struggle with this from time to time.

Truth be told, things are going well at the moment and all of the plates are spinning...for now.  But like that post-nasal drip in the back of your throat that signals the cold is coming, I feel like the inevitable ball-dropping is right around the corner (it may even have a name: "the holidays".)  I told David that all it's going to take is one stomach bug or one hard deadline and this precarious situation is going to crumble.  

To better articulate these emotions, I want to share this clip from the movie Mom's Night Out.  It's a very rough cut, so I'm also including a part of the transcript below in case you can't make it through watching all four minutes.  

Ally:  "I failed again. I’ve blown it.  I had a plan…Instead, I can’t.  I can’t get in front of it.  No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I give, I’m just…I'm not enough." 

Bones:  "For who?"

Ally:  "What?"

Bones:  "Not enough for who?"

Ally:  "I mean, Sean, the kids, for my mother, God, everybody.  I don’t know."

Bones:  "You.  Not enough for YOU...."

"...Y’all spend so much time beating yourselves up.  Must be exhausting.  Let me tell you something, girl.  I doubt the Good Lord made a mistake giving your kiddos the mama He did.  So you just be you.  He’ll take care of the rest." 

When I watched that movie and heard her say "I can't get in front of it", I literally burst into tears.  I spend too much time feeling that way or feeling that I'm just enough in front of it that I can feel its breath on my neck and its toes at my heels. 

The good news is that I'm slowly learning to push that feeling away.  I'm learning to tell those thoughts where they can go, because the idea that you can do it all and be it all to all of the people all of the time?  Yeah...no.  Something's gotta give.  The goal of achieving balance in your life?  I think it's total crap.  

I think the trick to balance is just making sure you rotate which thing/person gets the shaft.  Then, and this is big, y'all:  Let yourself off the hook.  Replace the negative, false guilt with truth and reason.  Some of my internal dialogue, as an example:   

Audrey gets ripped off by having to ride the bus in the afternoon.  I'm not going to make Luke wait in carpool during his nap time five hours a week.  Besides, she loves it and gets home approximately five minutes later than I could get her there as a car rider anyway.  I miss so many Saturday mornings with the family because of my running.  It's good for your health.  They're only awake for about an hour before you return and it gives David extra time with them.  I should've taken that friend a meal weeks ago.  They still need to eat now.  Make it this week.  I lost my patience with the kids.  But you apologized and asked for their forgiveness.  I'm failing at ABC.  Maybe, but you're nailing XYZ. 

Most of the time no one even notices these trade-offs and balance rotations but me.  And what if they do (and assuming their opinion matters)?  Then I apologize and ask for forgiveness and grace.  The cool thing about that...in addition to appearing human...is that it's easier to extend to others when they need it.  Plus, I feel like I'm making the time that I do have truly count.  If I'm going to shortchange somebody or something, I want it to be justified by focusing and doing the chosen thing well, if that makes sense.  If Luke has to watch a show while I work, I laser-beam and hit it hard so that it's not wasted time.  When the show is over, I turn off the computer, put down the phone, and try to concentrate solely on him.  When David and I get the luxury of a date night, I make every effort to be present and engage.  When I read the Word or pray, all distractions must be removed.  Multi-tasking has its proper place, but I'm trying to remember that less productivity is better when it comes to loved ones.  Perfect balance doesn't exist, so the scale should always tip to the side that has your heart.  

I don't do these things perfectly.  In fact, I'm not even sure I'd say that I do them well at this point.  But I try.  And like good ol' "Bones" said, I pray that God's grace will fill in the gaps and that "He'll take care of the rest."

Potty School Drop-Outs

Confession time:  As of Monday morning at 7:17am, we are potty school drop-outs.  Failures.  Quitters.  Wimps.  

I did not reach this monumental decision lightly.  Here's a sample of my "conversation" with others on the matter (a.k.a. emotional tirade that I made my husband, several friends and family, and the Good Lord above listen to):

"But potty training feels like a BIG thing!  It feels like a 'if-I-screw-this-up-he-will-be-living-in-our-basement-when-he's-forty" kinda thing!  How can I do this to him?  How can I say, either literally or figuratively, 'Buddy, you're terrible at this' and take that shot at his little self-esteem?!  He will be scarred forever.  I can almost hear the collective sigh of all the child psychologists in the world shaming me.  He will never recover from this punch in the gut and will always hold it against me."

Thankfully, I have learned two things important things:  1)  I have a tendency to overreact.  2)  I have learned to surround myself with people that don't. 

One dear friend in particular reminded me that Luke is an old-soul, intelligent two year old that is perfectly capable of having a conversation about the topic.  She also convinced me that being two, he will believe whatever I tell him to believe.  

Feeling better, but still not quite ready to throw in the towel, we decided to try for a few more days.  We purchased a Fisher Price potty (and would've been better off just flushing $30 down the real toilet.)  We upped the ante on rewards.  We gushed praises and gently admonished.  Nada.  I mean nothing in the potty for SIX days.  I think part of the problem was a tough bout with constipation that left him a little scared.  Whatever the reason, I knew it was time to either ratchet it way up and do the 3-4 day underwear/bootcamp method (that I honestly didn't think would work) or...quit for now.  We had a decision to make.  And pardon the horrible pun, but it was time to poop or get off the pot.

I decided to ask Luke.  Here's how it went down:

Me:  "Luke, let's talk about potty training.  How do you think it's going?"

Luke:  "NOT good."

Me:  "Yeah, it's a really, really tough thing to learn isn't it?  I am so proud of you for trying! Would you like to take a break for a little while and try again after you turn three?"

Luke:  "YES.  We should do that.  That's a really good idea."  (No joke.  His words.)

I don't ask my kids for their input on a lot of big decisions.  I give them little choices throughout the day so they learn how to decide and think for themselves, but we are unashamedly a dictatorship about the major things.  Nonetheless, this just felt right to ask about.  I misread his cues and I wanted to go back, but I wanted to know how he felt.  Turns out he felt he misjudged the situation a little too.  

The first-time Mama in me would've dogmatically continued on, in part to avoid admitting my mistake to my child or others and in part to show my kid that Sinyards are NOT quitters. 

...Except when we are.  Except when it's right to quit.  Sometimes being a good mom is about pushing and encouraging and cheering when your child wants with every fiber of their being to stop.  So much of motherhood is about making them do the right thing, even when they don't want to.  It's days upon days of nagging as positively as possible and sometimes annoying yourself at your unrelenting reminders to just. keep. it. up.  

But sometimes?  Sometimes motherhood needs to be about stepping back and saying "Hey. Let's reevaluate this together."  It's remembering to take a breath and then look at the big picture for a minute.  It's about chilling the heck out for everyone's sakes.  

The second-time Mama in me knows better.  I was wrong.  It's not the right time.  He will get this, but not now.  We have too much on our collective family plate and he's not ready.  AND THAT'S OKAY.  He will be fine.  

I have never felt happier about failing something in my life.  I pray this lesson sticks with me as we navigate deeper into this never-a-dull-moment parenting journey.  Quitters DO win sometimes.  

P.S.  If you see Luke in high school and he's wearing Depends, turns out we should've stuck with it.  

An Update on AJ

I wanted to take a moment outside of a monthly recap post and fill you in on how Audrey has been doing.  She's had a lot going on lately beyond just starting kindergarten, as if that wasn't a big enough adjustment by itself.  I honestly can't remember what I've already written about, so I'll cover everything here but please excuse any repetitiveness. 

As you may recall, she got glasses back in May.  I had a lot to say about the subject (imagine) and wrote about it at length here.  The doctor wanted to see her six weeks later, so we went back in July for a check-up.  At that point, the doctor was pleased, but wanted to see us again in six more weeks.  She wanted to make sure there was at least as much improvement in that time span or we would have to start patching her strong eye to force the brain to use the weak one.  I was optimistic that we'd make great strides and didn't really think much else about it.  When we returned in August, the level of improvement was not up to where the doctor wanted it to be, so she instructed us to begin patching her strong eye two hours a day.  Audrey broke my heart when she turned to me and whispered, "Mommy?  I'm not too sure about this."  Feeling guilty that I hadn't better prepared her for the possibility, I reassured her it would be just fine.  I listened to the doctor give examples of hand-eye coordination activities that would be good to do while she was "patching" and then we picked out the cutest possible patch (no small feat) and went home feeling a little bummed.  

That night, we tried it out for about half an hour and she was a trooper.  She has said to me several times that she really doesn't want to do this at school.  I don't have an honest answer that she'll never have to, so I just say that's not what we're doing right now and bring her back to the task at hand.  Since that first week, we've worked our way up to the prescribed two consecutive hours per day, sometimes aiming a bit higher on weekends.  

Two days after that appointment, we had an appointment with a pediatric orthopedist about her toe-walking.  It's something that she's done since she started walking and her pediatrician has always dismissed it, saying she would grow out of it.  After an intense conversation with a well-meaning loved one, I couldn't get it out of my head and started researching online (which is the best possible thing to do when you're worried about a medical condition, by the way.)  

After reading that most kids do indeed grow out of it by the age of five or six, I decided I didn't want to wait any longer and made a call to her pediatrician for a referral.  We went in and the orthopedist had her do some stretching as he pushed and pulled on her legs.  He watched her walk and asked me questions.  He concluded that we've gotten ourselves into a tough cycle:  She has walked on her tiptoes so much for so long that her calf muscle is shortening and her tendons are tightening so now it's more comfortable for her to walk on her tiptoes.  He listed out the less-than-ideal options in progressive order: stretching at home, physical therapy, serial casting, and, finally, surgery, which they wouldn't even consider before she's ten because they'd have to redo it after she grew.  We left the office with instructions to stretch for 15 minutes a night every night and come back in six months.  We promptly walked over (on "flat feet", of course) to Stride Rite and spent $50 on a pair of high-back, thicker soled tennis shoes to aid in keeping her heels on the ground.  The doctor didn't seem to think they'd help, but I figure they can't hurt.  I just can't bring myself to put my five year old in heels yet, so we're going to start with boots and shoes that come up high and are difficult to bend.  

Since that appointment, I've spoken with a friend who is a physician's assistant and whose daughter has gone through all of the treatment options for toe-walking short of surgery, which she'll be getting at the end of the month.  She gave me a lot of hope and encouragement.  I've also talked with another children's orthopedist who lives in our neighborhood.  Without having actually seen her and just going by what I said, he's not concerned and said, "There is NO way I'd even consider serial casting as long as she has the ability to walk heel-to-toe."  He went on to say physical therapy sounded like an option for us if we wanted it, but doubted we'd need to go more than once a week.  He calmly reiterated what I've heard for years ("she'll likely grow out of it") and followed up by saying that even if she doesn't, it's not that big of deal.  If she wants to participate in sports, she'll just need to stretch really well before playing.  

I hate to be so pessimistic when it's only been two weeks, but I'm doubtful anything but a physical reminder in some orthotic form is going to help.  We can do all the stretching in the world but the mental habit is ingrained.  I've read about something called "AFOs" (ankle foot orthosis...basically a splint) and am wondering if the physical therapist would offer that down the road.  Our plan right now is to keep stretching for another couple of weeks and then maybe make an appointment with a physical therapist just to get evaluated.  After being told by Thomas Eye Group that things were inconclusive and to wait six months only to find out that was far from the truth, you'll certainly understand my restlessness not to wait around.  If it needs to be fixed, let's do all we can to fix it now.  If she really is okay according to three different experts (2 children's orthos and a PT), then we'll chill.  

Lastly, a quick update on school:  We had her parent-teacher conference on Tuesday.  It was a huge relief to me because her teacher understands a) how bright she is and b) how sweet she is, but c) has already identified how to challenge her, namely by drawing her out of herself and into more of a leadership role.  Those that know AJ on a personal level probably find this hilarious, because she is NOT shy at home or in small, comfortable groups.  At school, however, she's timid and blends into the background.  The teacher gushed about how she has so much to offer and outlined ways that she's slowly pulling her more into the forefront.  As I listened to her heart and passion for these kids, I wanted to cry.  This teacher may not be the best at communicating, but she knows what she's doing.  And she's good at it.  Everything else is secondary because she SEES my daughter.  What an answered prayer.  

So that's where we are.  I know that I know that I know that it could be SO much more and that we are so, so blessed to have to mostly-healthy kids.  But, if I'm honest and transparent (which I try to be since it's my blog and all), it's still kind of a lot.  It's a lot on AJ and, selfishly, it's a lot on me.  Or, more accurately, it's not how I want to fill my limited time with her these days:  nagging and stretching and patching and nagging and WORRYING...and then nagging some more.  

Will you please pray for us?  Will you pray that all of this makes Audrey stronger?  Not just her eye and her legs, but her will and her determination to do the hard things.  Pray that it strengthens our family's relationships as she sees us as all being on the same team helping her.  She feels alone and a little like an outsider right now because "none of you know how this stuff feels", as she puts it.  I hate she has to deal with this, but I also...maybe more so...hate that at five years old, she's so concerned with being made fun of and being different.  I want this challenge to build her up and, in turn, help her build up others.  I want her to know how beautiful she is, inside and out, and how loved she is by God and her family no matter what.  Please join me in praying that she feels that to the depth of her soul.  

I don't care if she's a ballet-dancing pirate (and no, I've never called her that!) She is my ballet-dancing pirate and I love her so much it hurts...especially when I have to watch her struggle.  

I'll update you more later, but in the meantime, thanks for "listening" and praying!