Eight Crazy Days and Nights

For the past eight days, David has been in Europe on business. Needless to say, it has been a very challenging week. I have the utmost respect for single moms and military wives! I really don’t know how they do it day after day. I suppose you learn to do what you have to do, but the strength of those women is definitely admirable.

He left last Saturday afternoon, leaving me holding six week old Audrey in my arms and crying way more than she was. In fact, as he hugged us both goodbye she seemed more annoyed that we were interrupting her nap than anything else. It was a sad scene that I’m no doubt over dramatizing, but it was traumatic for our new little family.

We began Sunday morning with a walk around the neighborhood park. We had planned to go over my Dad’s that afternoon, but plans changed so we went to Blockbuster to pick out a movie instead. Audrey took a great nap for me when we got back and I almost managed to make it through all of “Made of Honor.” (Yeah, how long has that movie been out? That goes to show that I wasn’t up-to-date on my chick flicks long before she arrived!) I think she sensed that I needed to ease into the solo parenting thing, hence the long nap. She didn’t do so badly that night either, thank goodness.

Monday morning dawned and I got up extra early to shower and get ready for my 6 week postpartum check-up. My mother-in-law came over around 10:30 to keep Audrey and after she patiently listened to my instructions, I left for the doctor’s office. My check-up went fine and I made my next appointment for April. It’s so weird that it’s going to be that long before I go back! It sounds silly, but I’m going to miss seeing the nurses and office managers up there. You get used to going so frequently!

Monday afternoon we took a very quick walk in the heat. The park we go to has a ton of shade, so I thought we could safely go out for a little while without Audrey overheating. I hooked up the portable fan to her stroller and booked it around the loop a couple of times. Afterwards, we ran by Publix to pick up some groceries. When we got home, I took another shower and we enjoyed the rest of the evening in the AC. That night’s rest was broken up and rough, but we made it.

On Tuesday, Audrey and I met a fellow Mommy friend and her 9 month old at the mall for lunch. We ate, walked, and talked nonstop about the adventures of motherhood. It is such a blessing to have women in my life who are at the same stage that I am. I feel like we’re in the trenches together and, though I can’t offer much wisdom in return yet, trading war stories is a huge encouragement.

When bedtime came Tuesday night, I summoned the courage to strictly employ the “cry it out” method. We try to put her down “drowsy, but awake” as all the books suggest. That way she gets used to soothing herself to sleep. (There are times that she’s out so quickly we don’t make it in time. When that happens, we obviously don’t wake her up just to put her back down.) Anyway, sometimes she goes down just fine and falls asleep quickly. Other times she starts crying immediately or falls asleep and then wakes up a few minutes later crying.

SO, now that we seem to have a slight handle on her eating schedule, I felt ready to move on to the next challenge. I’d been doing a lot of reading on infant’s sleeping habits/schedules and methods to deal with them. A lot of experts said there wasn’t much point in trying to establish anything before three months of age, but I was determined to at least to try and see if we could get a loose routine going. Besides, our kid is a genius, so she is bound to hit the milestones earlier, right?

David and I had been letting Audrey cry a little fairly regularly since she’s been in her crib, only going in after about 5-10 minutes to put a pacifier in her mouth or pat her on the back. However, as we’re learning, “fairly regularly” doesn’t really count in parenting. Consistency is so dang important, even at her very young age. And, apparently, 5-10 minutes wasn’t really giving her adequate time to settle herself down.

Let me tell you, though, it is a horrible feeling to hear your baby crying her eyes out while you sit there and do nothing. Especially when your husband is on the other side of the world and you’re wondering if you’re making the right call. I just kept reminding myself that she was full, she was dry, and she wasn’t sick. I sat there praying while tears streamed down my cheeks and my stomach was in knots. I remember wondering what on earth I was doing. I would walk through fire for this kid and there I sat doing nothing while she was miserable!!! I thought about how Christ must feel when we’re going through a tough situation and He has to watch us endure it. I imagined how His heart must break wanting to “fix it” but knowing it’s for our own good and growth. Just one of the many lessons and parallels God is teaching me through little AJ.

Anyway, we made it. After fifteen minutes, she stopped crying (and so did I) and then she slept for 5 hours straight…going 6 hours between feedings! That meant I got five hours of consecutive sleep!

On Wednesday, Audrey and I got up and went walking before it got too terribly hot. (Are you noticing an exercising trend here? More on that later in a later post, though!) Around lunchtime, we had a couple of sweet visitors stop by to see us. When they left, she took a great nap and then I gave her a bath. Wednesday night, David’s parents came over and babysat while I met up with a friend for dinner. More encouragement, laughter, and war-swapping stories ensued. I ran into some traffic on the way home and remembered not even caring. I took the extra few minutes to enjoy the blaring radio and watch people in other cars. Don’t get me wrong, I still miss her like crazy when I’m away from her (especially when I catch a whiff of her sweet baby smell on my shirt), but I try to put it out of my mind and make the most of the break. I truly believe those few shorts hours away make me a better mommy!

When I got home, I found out Audrey had had some stomach issues while I was gone. The poor baby hadn’t “gone” since mid-morning (way out of character for her!) and was clearly not comfortable. I prepared myself for the worst and set out for what I expected would be a very long night. I prayed and asked God to either make her comfy or give me the endurance I would need to stay up. I fed her and timidly put her down in her crib at 10:45. She slept without a peep until 5am, going 6 ½ hours between feedings!!! Meaning I got 6 hours of straight sleep! Yet another record-breaking night. And, when I changed her at that feeding, she had clearly worked out her problem. Thank you, Jesus!!!

Thursday was a relatively uneventful day. Laundry, bottle washing, feedings, diaper changes, etc. etc. etc. We went up to the mall that afternoon so I could check out The Children’s Place Monster Sale and stock up on a few things for next summer. The prices were crazy cheap and I got some cute stuff. Since I’m not positive she’ll be in 12 months size then, I didn’t spend a whole lot of money. I just chose an amount that I’d be comfortable spending if she didn’t wear a thing and decided that, worst case scenario, our church’s clothes closet may get some brand new stuff if she can’t wear it! When I went to check out, their credit/debit card machine was broken so I had to put it on hold. I spent so long picking stuff out that we didn’t get to do any laps around the mall as I’d intended. We came home and spent the rest of the evening in our typical eat, sleep, dirty diaper cycle. That night, Audrey reverted back to her two shift schedule, waking up after only four hours to eat. That’s not nearly as fun as getting six hours straight.

Friday started out a little rough. I got up and got us both ready to head to the mall to pick up the clothes I had put on hold and do some laps in the air conditioning. I loaded us into the car and turned the key to start the engine. A sound that resembled a machine gun rang out and it wouldn’t start. Hmmm. I tried it again. Nothing. Now, I’ve had a little bit of experience with car trouble, so I was perplexed at this new noise. If it was the battery, it wasn’t supposed to make any noise, right? And I hadn’t left any doors open or the lights on. In fact, I was able to turn the lights on, so it I figured it couldn’t be the battery. I called David, because surely there was something he could do from the middle of Germany. I had him listen to the sound over the phone and he guessed battery, but couldn’t be sure. He rattled off a list of guys I could call to come over and help. I hung up the phone, wishing more than ever that he was home. It was at this moment that I heard another noise. This one was all too familiar and it came from the back seat. Audrey’s red, scrunched up face let me know I was in for a doozie of a diaper change. I got her out, only to discover that for the first time, Pampers had failed us. She’d had a major blow out in her car seat. Well, crap. (Literally.) She started crying and then I started crying. This day was not off to a good start at all.

Long story short, I got her cleaned up and called a friend that lives down the road. He came right over and jumped the 4 Runner off. Since that confirmed it was the battery, we had to figure out how to get it replaced a.s.a.p. I looked at the clock and did a quick calculation of when she was due to eat again. I figured we could make it and prayed I was right. We jumped in our cars and he followed me up the street to Advanced Auto Parts, making sure it ran well enough to get us up there.

The sales clerk went into great detail about my three battery choices. Shaking off the mommy cobwebs in my brain, I tried to utilize my business head. With the cheapest, you probably get what you pay for. With the most expensive, you’re just paying for name brand and packaging. So I told her to give me the middle option and spoke it with authority so she’d think I knew what the heck I was talking about. They got it installed extremely quickly and we made it home safe and sound for Audrey’s next feeding. Which was a good thing, too. I really did not want to have to deal with that in the middle of Advanced Auto Parts. I totally would have for the sake of my child, of course. I bet they would’ve knocked off at least 25%. Hmmm…something to think about for next time. Anyway, I was so thankful that our friend was able to come right over and rescue us. It’s a huge blessing to have people so close by that are willing to come to my aid when David is out of town!

Speaking of sweet friends, we had a visitor come over for just a minute after lunch. She’s expecting her third in October and came by to drop something off on her way home from the gym – my hero! After she left and Audrey woke up, she and I set out for the trip we’d planned to take earlier in the day. We picked up the clothes that were on hold and after calmly talking the manager into honoring the sale’s prices from the day before since their machines had been down, we walked two laps (equaling two miles) around the mall. Before we left, I decided to stop by a shoe store since my feet have apparently decided that they are permanently going to remain ½ size bigger than they were pre-pregnancy. As I wheeled the stroller passed a full-length mirror, I caught sight of myself and stopped short. My face was beat-red and my sweaty hair was plastered to my forehead. It looked like I’d just finished an hour at spin class, not a two mile walk around the mall. (Though, in my defense, I was hauling and finished in 26 minutes.) I could have been embarrassed. I could have thought about how pathetic it was that I am that out of shape and think longingly back to the body I had before I carried, birthed, and now provided sole nourishment for a human being. But I decided not to. Instead, I chose to be proud that my reflection was not staring back at me with a soft pretzel in one hand and a Cinnabon in the other, as my cravings were begging it to be. I dabbed my face off, held my head high, and pushed Audrey over to the totally impractical high-heeled section. Hey – there is no shame in using every trick in the book to look skinnier!

Once we got home, David’s parents came over to stay with Audrey while I went out for some more downtime. I got a pedicure and then went to Starbucks to sit in the middle of other adults who looked way more interesting and sophisticated than I felt. I kicked back in one of the big comfy chairs I’d dreamed about all day, totally content, sipping my decaf coffee that I’d verified was decaf at least three times with the barista. (“Are you sure, sir?! Because you have no idea what’s at stake here!”) I wrote most of this blog there and then returned home to snuggle with (and feed, of course) my baby before putting her to bed. She had another decent night of sleep, thank goodness.

On Saturday, we got up and went to the park for a walk. (This is totally unrelated, but when we pulled in, I noticed an orange bus in the parking lot that had the county’s correction center text on the side. Is that really a good idea? To have them doing their community service at a public park around children? They packed it in and left before I had to decide whether or not to stick around.) Anyway, we walked 2.5 miles and went home. That afternoon, we headed over to my dad’s to visit with him, my grandmother, brother, sister-in-law, and nephew. This was quite a feat for us since we’d never taken Audrey out of the county before, let alone one of us handling it by ourselves! We had a nice time hanging out and trying to keep up with my nephew Carson. At almost 16 months old, he is 100% boy and a force to be reckoned with! After I fed Audrey and then ate dinner, we packed up to head back to our side of town. I tried to time things just right, but there was construction on one of the interstates on the way home, so I cut it closer than I would have liked. Audrey was quite a good sport, though, and we got back just in time for her to eat again. Afterwards, I gave her a bath, did some laundry, fed her again, and put us both to bed.

Sunday morning, after another decent night’s sleep, we got up and got the day started. I was so ecstatic because, finally, David was due home in the afternoon. Audrey, apparently unaware of the good news despite my constant reminders, seemed extra cranky for some reason. Nothing seemed to soothe her and I was losing my patience quickly. I reminded myself what a shame it would be for me to kill the child on the day her Dad was coming home. I could hear the jury now...“Really? She couldn’t hang in there a few more hours?!” Of course I’m joking. Unless there’s a chance that sentencing would include solitary confinement. Then maybe…

Anyway, when she went down for her mid-morning nap, I thought it best to lie down for a little extra sleep too. When she woke up, I tried to think of it as a fresh start to the day. She didn’t so much get that memo. Anyway, we made it (I bet I looked at the clock 1,000 times!) and even managed to get to the grocery store that afternoon. David got home around 4:30pm and immediately decided Audrey had grown an inch since he left. We stayed in and enjoyed each other’s company the rest of the night.

So, that’s been the last eight crazy nights and days. Probably in much greater detail than you cared to read, but I needed to document it for my own therapeutic relief! We survived by the grace of God and with the help of grandparents. I’m so very thankful that David is home safe and sound and look forward to settling back into dual-parenting again! I KNOW we’ll have a good week – I hope you do too!

Be sure to check out the latest pictures in our album, including the daily photos we sent to David while he was away.