Thoughts On My Thirtieth

As I lied awake unable to sleep from my bronchitis-wrought coughing fits, I glanced over at the clock.  11:15pm.  In just forty-five short minutes, I'll be leaving my twenties behind and entering a new decade.

I'm honestly not sure how I feel about this.

My twenties have been really quite good to me.  In short, I began the decade as an engaged college student and am ending it a happily married stay-at-home mom of two precious little ones.

...No, that's too easy.

My twenties held more major life changes than any other decade likely will for the remainder of my time on Earth. To name a few:  multiple moves, marriage, college graduation, new job/house/car, new church, leaving job, new business, old-new job, pregnancy, leaving job, first child, leaving church, new church, new car, pregnancy, second child, selling house, new house.  There were mission trips, leisure trips, and a million little road trips.  There were many, many business trips that kept us a half a world apart for longer than I care to think about.  I said good-bye to older generations and buried loved ones.  I said hello to new generations and held tiny babies so fresh that the vernix was still matted in their hair.  I started friendships.  I ended friendships.  I ran more miles than I count and finished enough races to be proud of.  I overcame crises in our family and in my faith.  Although I was blessed not to face any serious medical issues, I certainly endured plenty of sickness and a broken ankle.  The parties, the celebrations, the holidays that we've had.  The Bible studies and small groups I've been in and grown from.  The adventures.  The hairstyle changes.  The tears.  The laughter.  And oh the weight gain and loss.

This past year alone has been the most stressful of my life to date, filled with both very high highs and very low lows:  Adding Luke to our family, gaining a stepmother, selling the best home I've ever had, and finally moving to a new dream house that was an exhausting nightmare to get to.  We've had cancer scares and very ill grandparents on both sides of our families this year.  It seems that just about everyone close to us has faced really tough challenges.  I've never felt so unheard by God in my spiritual life and so confused as to which path He wanted me to take.  It was frustrating and it was humbling and it brought about major lessons and permanent change.

...There, that's a little more like it.  A more accurate description of what the last ten years, specifically the last twelve months, have held.

So how do I feel about saying goodbye to all of that?  Well...I'm okay with it.  It brought me to where I am, which is snuggled beside my sleeping husband just down the hall from my two sweet babies in a amazing new house that friends and family spent all day working their tails off to improve as a celebration of my 30th.  How can I be anything less than grateful to be entering a new decade?  I can't.

I may not know what the next ten are going to hold, but I do know this:  My God does.  And He's FOR ME.  And, oh, is He faithful:

Your love is waiting for me to come chasing, 
revealing the depths of Your heart
Mystery unfolding, Your plan lies before me
I'll stand and sing for you are
Faithful.  

Thank you, Jesus.  For all that you've brought me through to get me here.  For loving me too much to leave me unchanged.  For the gifts of my salvation, my freedom, my family, my friends, my health.  For thinking me worthy of these when I am not.

Guide and protect me as I head into this new decade, Lord.  Whatever it may bring, I pray for more joy than sorrow and more laughter than tears. Mostly, though, Father, help me point others, especially those tucked inside these walls tonight, to You.  Amen.

Thankful Thursday

I have one thing on my TT list today:  No, we did not close on our houses yet and yes, we are still awaiting final loan approval for our buyers.  But what I am thankful for this week is perspective.  On the house situation and so much more.  Read on...

I hung up the phone with a family member today who had just shared some scary health news with me.  My mind was reeling as I rushed into Target with Luke.  Stomach growling, I decided to grab a soft pretzel for lunch and chow down while I shopped.  I waited in line for almost five minutes only to be told they were out of them.  I sighed and headed to the Starbucks counter to order a decaf caramel machiatto instead.  In front of me, a lady who had clearly never ordered at a Starbucks before nervously stumbled through her request, ended up overpaying, and then held everyone up getting a 21 cent refund.  "Seriously?" I thought to myself.  "This is ridiculous.  I get scary news, I know the loan isn't going to come through today, I can't even drown my sorrows in a pretzel, and now I'm behind the only person in the world who has never ordered at Starbucks.  On top of all that, I'm not going to be able to finish my to-do list before I have to pick up Audrey at school."  I finally stepped up to order and then tapped my fingers impatiently and talked to Luke.  I turned around and noticed two men approaching, one older gentlemen who was blind and a younger man holding his arm and helping him along.  They took their place in the line behind me and I heard the younger one quietly list off the baked goods and snacks that were in the Starbucks counter cabinet.  "There is pumpkin bread, and ginger bread, and a frosted snowman cookie..."  The older man chuckled at the thought of himself eating a frosted snowman cookie and then asked, "Are there any coconut macaroons?"  "No," the younger man answered.  "I don't see any of those," he said before continuing to go through the selection.  Suddenly he caught Luke's eye, smiled, and said hello to him.  He whispered to the older man, "There's a cute baby in front of us."  "Aw!  How old is he?"  I spoke up and told him he was almost ten months and that he was just learning how to wave.  The older man said, "How sweet!" and the younger man went on to describe Luke's blond hair and bright blue eyes.  "He's so cute," he told the older man.  "He sounds like it!  He's going to be real heartbreaker," the blind man said with a smile.  I agreed before turning away, grabbing my drink, and rushing off before they could see the tears spill over.  I thanked God for the precious baby in front of me, the one that I'd be picking up shortly, and the joy of being able to SEE their sweet faces every day.  

It was a perspective check, to say the least.  Sure, I'm still stressed and overwhelmed and down about the house stuff, but we have each other and we have our health and we have a Savior who loves us and is working for our good.  Tonight I'm going to bed grateful for that.

November 2012 Recap

Let me start by giving a quick house/moving update since I know you're just all dying to hear more about this saga (sarcasm heavily implied):  We had hoped we'd be able to close on Friday, November 30th, but we are still awaiting loan approval for our buyers.  It should come "at any minute".  The glorious news that we got on Monday is that the extension came in from the short sale department for our purchase.  This is HUGE as we definitely thought it was going to be the harder of the two remaining pieces to secure and that we'd be stuck having to move twice and rent somewhere while waiting for it. 

I can't even articulate how sad and down I am that it is December 5th and our tree isn't up and not a single gift is wrapped (though all but one is bought, thankfully!)  This is my favorite time of year and with 20 boxes of decorations and three trees, I don't take celebrating and decorating for it lightly.  I feel like I'm wasting one of AJ's "prime years" and I really wanted Luke's first to be special, even if he couldn't care less.  I'm struggling with jealousy over the friends I have that have moved lately and all the people posting their beautifully decorated houses and trees on Facebook.  I know that's stupid, because my life is so incredibly blessed that I shouldn't be jealous about a thing, but I'm just being honest.  Please keep praying.   

Now on to November's recap:

I guess I should start with Thanksgiving.  We got up and let Audrey watch some of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade while we got ready.  Then we drove out to my brother's house and enjoyed a feast complete with two turkeys.  We stuffed ourselves, and even Luke had turkey baby food for his first holiday!  We hung out and played with the kids until we put three of the four down for naps and then talked and visited with each other and Carson.  When the kids woke up, it was dessert and a bit more play time before we packed it in and drove back across town.  We have a long standing tradition of putting up the tree on Thanksgiving night, but couldn't do that this year for obvious reasons, so we put the little lights in the holes on my grandmother's 18" ceramic table top one I inherited.  On Friday we went to the park and enjoyed playing outside and picnicking in the warm weather.  We did sneak out for some Black Friday shopping after naps and hit Lowe's, Carter's, Barnes & Noble, but only found a few things we wanted.  I'd done most of the week's deal shopping online on Wednesday.  The rest of the weekend we relaxed, went to church, played, and packed.  I got my first pedicure in five months and David and I had squeezed in a dinner date.  It was really nice to have four straight days together without major plans.  I'm hoping we'll be longing for that kind of down time in a matter of a few days!  

Earlier in the month we also celebrated my nephew's first birthday with a party at my brother's house.  It seemed impossible that a year had past since I cuddled him on my pregnant lap at the hospital.  Now he's a walking, jabbering, grinning little boy!

As for the latest on our kiddos:

Luke is getting so big and so fun.  He will launch himself from a sitting position to all fours and then do one big lunge, but he can't crawl yet.  He also wants to pull up on anything and everything and can do 360 spins on his belly.  At a recent trip to Subway, I left him in his stroller by the table and turned around to get our drinks.  By the time I'd turned back around, an older gentleman was pulling his stroller away from the table and explaining that he was trying to pull himself up on it.  Sheesh.  As David said, the beautiful period of immobility is coming to an end.  

He is eating just about every baby food there is and we've also added yogurt, beans, and cheese to his diet.  He loves Puffs and Cheerios, of course, and is also doing pretty good drinking from a sippy cup.  I'm hoping to take it up a notch in the solids department soon and add bread and pasta before too long.  And, praise the Lord, he is off his reflux medicine and seems to be doing very well without it.  

He cut his third tooth (top left) on November 19th and that's all we see coming in at the moment.  Three in just over a month is plenty and we'll gladly welcome the break.  He's sleeping like a champ from 8:30pm - 7:00am, and I'm sure the teeth coming in played a role in that.  He also takes two naps really well and predictably.  He goes down in the morning around 9:30 until 10:30 or 10:45 and then 1:30 until 3:30 or 3:45. 

Audrey has been loving school.  Each Tuesday and Thursday she jumps in the van and talks about the craft she made, the songs she sang, who she played with on the playground, and who she sat beside at lunch.  I still don't think she's interacting and talking a lot to the other kids, but then again after having been in the classroom several times, I don't think any of them do much of that.  

She's also enjoying the new reward program we put into place.  I can't remember if I wrote about it in last month's recap, so here's the gist: each day she can earn up to 6 stars, one each for the following:  not whining, using good manners, setting the table, not be disrespectful, picking up her toys, and doing a good job going to bed/sleeping.  When she earns 30 stars (it usually takes her 6-7 days), she gets that week's reward.  So far we've done a glow stick dance party, a trip to the bookstore and a new book, making s'mores in our fire pit outside, a bubble bath in the master garden bath tub, and a new toy at the dollar store.  It helps her a lot to have goals and is teaching a little delayed gratification in the process.

She is such a tremendous helper and loves doing anything we ask her to do, especially if it involves Luke.  She loves him to death and loves showing him it too!  Occasionally she gets too rough with her hugs and kisses and smushes, but he's tough enough to handle it.  We also do see a little sibling rivalry from time to time, though, especially if it involves the attention of a grandparent.

As for us, I'm just longing for the day when my free time isn't spent dealing with house stuff (most days involve at least a half a dozen phone calls or emails about some issue or another) or packing.  Things have slowed down a bit for David at work, thankfully, and we hope that continues to the end of the year so we have time to get moved and get settled.  

So that's that.  Plus room mom responsibilities (celebrating AJ's teacher's birthday, volunteering at the Thanksgiving feast, planning the class Christmas party), Bible Study, a double date night with friends (praise Jesus!), doctor's appointments, and play dates.  So basically, nothing much. :)

Here are this month's funny quips & quotes:

• Audrey and I were doing some drawing ourselves together and she only had a little piece of paper to work with.  "Oh well," she said.  "Guess I'll be short."  Meaning she'd have to draw herself as a short stick figure.  Ha!

• With Christmas coming and the monumental amount of presents our kids are about to be showered with from friends and family, David and I have been reviewing proper gift-receiving etiquette with AJ.  We spent a good five minutes hammering home how important it is to be gracious and grateful.  We explained what to do if you don't really like the gift or if you already have one, and I felt like she was really getting it. I asked her to role play a scenario just to check.  I pretended I was her Great Aunt Pat and said, "Here you go Audrey!  Here's your Christmas present that I chose and bought just for you.  It's a snake!....Now, Audrey, what would you say if that happened?"  AJ:  "I'd say 'EWWWWW' get that away from me, of course!"  So maybe the snake example was a bit over-the-top.  

• Luke has gotten really good at waving.  He'll do it about 75% of the time you say it and wave to him and often does it on his own, mostly towards himself which is adorable.

• Audrey is constantly making up songs, many of which have rhyming verses.  She was singing a little tune one morning that went as follows:  "I love Mommy and she loves me.  She puts me to bed and then she loves Ted."  Hmmmm....let's not sing that one in public, eh?

• I try to be transparent with my kids about how I make mistakes and need God's help all the time (not that they can't see that on a daily basis!)  On the rare occasion I get a compliment from AJ, though, I just shut my trap and soak it up.  So the other day when she said, "Mommy, you are the perfect Mommy.  And not everyone is perfect ya know", I just let it ride. :)

• Luke's "talking" and chatter are just the most precious sounds to hear.  I love his "P" and "G" sounds.  Sometimes even when he's crying and complaining, he'll throw in a long stream of jabber as if he's telling you exactly what he hates about the particular situation.  I hear "BAAAAAABAAAAAGAAAAA" amidst tears from the back seat every once in awhile.  If there is such a thing as a cute baby cry, he has it. 

• Audrey exhibited her first real "embarrassed" moment and it took me by surprise.  We were at my brother's house and I put her in a diaper to nap.  Most of the time she goes without one at home unless she hasn't gone potty in awhile before nap time, but I wasn't going to chance it in their guest bed!  When I went to get her up and she took it off she worriedly said, "Mommy!  Where are we going to put my diaper?  If we throw it away, they'll see it!"  My heart hurt for her that she was experiencing the emotion of embarrassment!  I promised to throw it away where no one would see.  A few minutes later when we got upstairs, she even whispered to me about it again and I had to assure her I had taken care of it.   

• We were driving down the road and Audrey asks if we can "do the fish."  I asked her to clarify and she said, "you know.  On the radio...one o four point seven the fish!"  That's the station we usually listen to and I had no idea she knew the dial number!

• Audrey loves playing school or church and "teaching" David and I something, usually from a book she holds up and declares is the "truly (?) Bible".  She also frequently uses her teacher's "1, 2, 3 Eyes on Me!" phrase to get our attention.

• I walked out of the room for a moment and Luke began to cry.  Behind me I hear Audrey say, "Luke, you're being overdramatic.  She'll be right back." 

I'll work on updating the Picasa gallery when I can and will post an update when I do.  Hope you're enjoying the Christmas season and check back soon for pictures of our move (think positive, think positive, think positive...)

Thankful Thursday

I always feel added pressure to write this post on THE great Thankful Thursday of the year.  Then I remembered I shouldn't.  I could fill pages with the blessings God has given me.  Tonight, as I hurry to rest my tired eyes, I'll make my top five simple:  Numbers 1, 2, and 3 are sleeping soundly (though not necessarily sound-less-ly with someone's snoring ;) ), number four is the warm and cozy house in which we're all tucked in, and the fifth is the Savior who gave us each other and so much more.  

Happy Thanksgiving, Y'all.  As I've been so incredibly blessed to write for several years now:  My cup runneth over.

Thankful Thursday

1.  Pilgrims and Indians.  The real ones who helped build this country, of course, but also the adorable ones I got to see at Audrey's Thanksgiving Feast at her preschool today.  

2.  Our veterans.  As you probably know, Sunday was Veteran's Day.  We are incredibly blessed to live in a free country because of the sacrifice these men and women and their families are willing to make.  "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."  John 15:13  Thank you to my dad, my grandfathers, and my friends who have served or are serving!

3.  Office visits.  On Monday, I took the kids to see David at work and have lunch with him there.  I'm embarrassed to say that's a first (we've met him out at places before, but never gone there.)  We thoroughly enjoyed it and will definitely try to do it more often!

4.  Talking to my grandparents.  I called them tonight and they were so excited to hear from me.  It was great to catch up for a few.

5.  Cheesecake Factory Chocolate Mousse Cheesecake.  Oh sure, it's $6 and probably 1,000 calories, but MAN is it good.  As my brother pointed out, you gotta practice overeating for next week anyway.  

No real house updates.  We did have to sign a form late this afternoon, so that made me feel like some progress is being made.  Please keep praying.  I haven't given up hope that we could still close before Thanksgiving!

Prayer, Please!

I sent this email to number of friends and family this morning and thought I'd post it here too in case anyone checks this before 2pm today and would like to lift us up.  Thank you!

Good Morning Y'all,

Most of you probably saw my update on Facebook yesterday, but for those that didn't, here is the latest:

Our buyers' loan is in final underwriting, but they have not given us a closing date. We have been granted an extension by our sellers and their lender (huge praise that this came through already!), but the extension states that we must close by November 30th. 

Since the "For Sale" sign went up over six months ago, you all have been so faithful to pray for and support us through this insane saga.  We would like to ask you to intercede yet again, but this time at a specific moment.  If you are able, will you please take time at 2pm today and lift us up?  There is nothing magical about this day or hour, but I do believe in the power of prayer and in the power of a number of people praying together for the same thing.  

Here are our requests:

• First and foremost, that God's will be done, whatever that might be.  Since we lost our first contract, that has been my honest prayer.  We want His best and His timing, regardless of whether that includes a new house right now.

• That IF this is God's plan, that we will be able to close on BOTH houses before Thanksgiving.  

• That all of us, especially Audrey, will adjust accordingly be it in new surroundings or existing ones. 

• Pray for strength and endurance to see this through a little longer - this process has been long and tiresome, and we are incredibly ready to be settled one way or another.  

Thank you all so much!  We love and appreciate you more than you know!

David & Heather

Thankful Thursday

Wait - Don't go!  You aren't mistaken!  This IS The Sinyard Family's blog.  After 3+ years of the same template, I decided it was time for a makeover.  It's taking me some time to get used to it, but I think I like the change.  I hope you do too.

Here's a quick house/moving update:  We received the loan commitment letter from our buyers' lender and their loan is currently in underwriting.  They have not given us a firm closing date, but we are expecting (hoping, praying!) that it'll be the 20th, or at the very most, by the 29th.  On the buying side of things, we have been granted an extension from our sellers.  However, because it's a short sale and we weren't able to close 30 days after it had been approved, we also had to request an extension from their lender.  We are still waiting for that and desperately hoping that it'll come in before we close on our current house.  

Now on to this week's Thankful Thursday list.  If you're new to the blog, each Thursday I write a list of five things I'm grateful for.  Sometimes it turns into as much of an update as it is a gratitude list, but it's a good way to for me to focus on the positive in our little world and capture the current state of fun chaos.  

Here are my top five this week:

1.  That God is still God.  I did not vote for Obama and I do not care for him or his politics, so I was quite disappointed when I checked my phone at 3am on Wednesday morning and read the results.  But, I immediately said a prayer for him and our other leaders, because I know that despite who is in the Oval Office, God is on His throne, and both they and we need Him.  A good friend reminded me of these verses:  "Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves." Romans 13:1-2  

2.  My nephew James who will be one year old tomorrow.  I cannot believe a year has already passed.  He is an adorable, sweet baby boy whose dimples will have me wrapped around his finger.  My prayer for him is the same as the one I pray for his brother, my niece, and my children:  That he will grow to know the Lord, love Him, and want to do His will and that he will be healthy and strong in body, soul, and character.  We love you and cannot wait to celebrate with you, James!

3.  My dear friend Kara, whose birthday is also tomorrow.  She and I met at church nearly six years ago, but rarely crossed paths because I was so busy working on Sunday mornings.  We ran into each other again at birthing class in Spring of 2009 when we were pregnant with our daughters.  They were born three weeks apart that June and our friendship has grown just as much as those little girls have these past three and a half years.  Kara is a thoughtful giver who is also an extremely talented teacher, crafter, and cook.  It's so wonderful to have another mommy in the trenches with me who shares my faith and my parenting philosophies.  I'm very thankful for her and her family and for the blessing they are to our lives!

4.  Good sleep & later mornings.  The autumn time change may give a lot of people an extra hour's sleep, but not those of us with young ones!  Luke had been waking up at 6am for weeks and we'd settle him back down as best we could usually until 7am.  So, with the hour shift, you can imagine what a rough few mornings we had at the beginning of this week.  But I'm very glad to say the last two mornings he has slept until after 7am on his own without waking and that made this Momma very happy...and late since I didn't bother setting an alarm!  Oops!

5.  The Varsity.  We introduced Audrey to her first Varsity hotdog last Saturday and she lived!  It's a rare treat we only indulge in once every year or two...and then our stomachs remind us why we do it so infrequently.  But, alas, it's an Atlanta tradition and I'm thankful that this past weekend we got to share it with AJ.  Luke was there too, of course, but we thought it best to hold off on letting him try it for a little bit longer.  We did get shots of both of them in the hats:

  So, you're not going to let me eat any of those onion rings, but I have to wear this ridiculous hat?!

Hope you have a great rest of the week and enjoy what may be the last of the gorgeous fall weather!

October Recap

October held a very strange combination of things.  From alpacas to Letter P Parties to pumpkin patchin' to gun ranging, we've had a lot of fun activities going on around here!

The month began with Audrey and I participating in a food drive for CIA (Compassion in Action service day) at our church.  I wanted to stretch this experience for her as much as I possibly could, so we started by walking around and counting the houses while she made tally marks on a notepad.  A few days later, we printed out fliers and stuffed them into people's mailboxes together.  On the first Saturday of the month, we took her little wagon and dragged it around our section of the neighborhood, looking for bags that people had left out.  As I suspected, there was not much participation.  And by "not much", I mean any.  When we were far away from the house, I texted David to run a bag of our donations down to the front of our neighbor's house just so AJ wouldn't lose all faith in humanity.  As we rounded our corner and she trudged along, I explained that some people might have already given to their church.  She was disappointed and then her eyes fell on the lone bag sitting by Ms. Gail's curb.  Bless her heart, she was so excited.  And we narrowly avoided a jaded three year old. :)  We took our donations to the food pantry and she helped the other volunteers and me sort the food and throw out the expired stuff.  It wasn't as super fun for her as I'd hoped it would be (because I think that it should still be all fun at their age so they develop a love and a heart for it), but I think she did okay.  As I mentioned in a previous post, she wanted to play "buy food for the food pantry" with her coins a few days after that, so I gotta pray it's somewhat sinking in!

Other fun firsts:  Audrey's first dentist appointment (she did great!), my first painting canvas party with some women from Bible Study, our first visit to an alpaca farm, Luke's first trip to a pumpkin patch, and Luke's first Halloween.  

We also celebrated my father-in-law's birthday with a fun trip to a local airport.  We watched planes take off and land, played on the playground they have there, and ate lunch at an on-sight restaurant.  He loved it and we loved watching him enjoy every minute of it.  

On top of all that, David and I even managed to squeeze in TWO dates this month.  The first was spent shooting at a gun range and then we ate dinner and the second included Christmas shopping and Bonefish Grill followed up by Five Spot yogurt.  Both evenings were divine.  Turns out that eight years of marriage and two kids later, I still really like the guy.  

In addition to two date nights, I also enjoyed two girls' nights out!  I did the Masterpiece Mixers painting class and the next week enjoyed dinner and dessert with one of my closest friends to celebrate her birthday.  What can I say, we were CA-RAZY social butterflies this month!

Audrey also stayed super busy with school activities.  She had picture day, her "Letter P Party" that I got to help with (see previous post), and Grandparents' Day.  For the latter, her Grandmom, Grandpa, and Grandma Gloria went to her school for a special program.  Her class and two others sang 4-5 songs then they all ate lunch and did the hokey pokey together.  I wish I could've been there to see it, but parents were not invited. :(  I did get to see some great video my Dad took for me and it was so precious!  At the end of the month, she had Mother Goose Day and dressed up as Little Miss Muffet complete with a bowl and spoon for her curds and whey.

We soaked up plenty of the gorgeous fall weather with lots of trips to the park and picnics outside.  Later in the month, we drove up to a pumpkin patch we discovered last year and did all the corny fall family fun stuff - picking out pumpkins, going on a hay ride, navigating a mini corn maze, eating BBQ and hotdogs for lunch, racing ducks, etc.  I live for those cheesy family memory-making days.  

We ended the month with a wonderful Halloween night.  The weekend before, we let Audrey paint her little pumpkin and then the evening before, we carved our big one.  The night of, I made "mummy dogs"  (hot dogs wrapped in strips of crescent rolls) for dinner and then we dressed the kids up in their adorable costumes - Minnie for AJ, Mickey for Luke.  Starting out it was a little slow and we had to walk quite a ways in between houses to find people that had their porch lights on.  At one point, David took Luke back to our place to get the van and come pick us up to find another neighborhood.  We decided to turn down one more street in ours and we ended up hitting the jackpot.  It wasn't that we wanted a ton of candy for our three year old, but we did want her to have the experience of getting five or six houses in a row.  We finally got that and she absolutely loved it.  She was so excited and talking a mile a minute as we parked the van and walked from place to place.  She kept commenting on how beautiful everything was and how neat it was that we were out after dark.  She thought the trees looked a bit spooky, and she sure was glad to see someone had left some lights on for us.  It was adorable.  Luke enjoyed watching all the action first from the stroller and then in my arms.  Everyone raved about how cute they were.  About 45 minutes into it, we decided we'd had enough and headed back home.  When we got there, David took Luke in and I took AJ to three more houses.  We got home around 8, handed out some handfuls of candy to the few trick-or-treaters who would brave our nearly dark cul-de-sac and steep driveway.  We let her pick one treat and she chose a blue tootsie roll pop (I think last year's selection was an orange one?) and ate it all the way...even the nasty center part that no one likes!  We got to read two bedtime stories in an effort to help her calm down and she told me it was "the best night ever."  She was asleep within ten minutes of turning out her lights - a rarity for her.  I think all the fun coupled with the fact that she probably walked over a mile up and down hills tuckered her right out.  

On the house/moving front, we don't have a lot of news.  The latest is that we did receive the loan commitment letter from our buyers' lender and that we did get an extension from our sellers.  We are still in the process of seeking an extension from our sellers' lender for the short sale again and we're also begging for a firm closing date from our buyers' lender.  The best case scenario right now looks to be around the week of Thanksgiving.  After this disastrous ordeal, unpacking boxes in our new house would be a perfectly acceptable way to spend the holiday!

Now, on a much funnier note, here are some quips, quotes, and other don't-wanna-forget stuff from this month:

• Audrey has an imaginary dog named Abraham.  Or should I say, she HAD an imaginary dog.  Apparently he died this month.  Not to worry, though.  She assures us he's going to come back like Jesus is.

• Luke cut his first two teeth this month!  The first (lower left) was on Saturday, October 13th and the second (lower right) was on Friday the 26th.

• When we were working on a hide-a-picture/I Spy book together, she found something really tough right away.  She declared, "I have eyes like a penguin!"  "Do you mean, eyes like a hawk?" I asked, laughing.  "Yup!" she said.

• Audrey asked me how long she was going to live with us and I explained that she would stay until she was grown up and out of high school or college.  She started crying and said, "No, Mommy!  I'll be too scared to live alone.  I want to stay with you and Daddy!"  I promptly answered with what any good parent would have said and promised she could stay with us forever.  Let's see if she still feels that way in ten or fifteen years! 

• We were driving down the road the other day and she saw a cemetery and shouted "My school!"  All you can really see as we pass her school from the main highway is a cemetery, so now every time she sees one she thinks it's her preschool!  What a weird association for the poor girl!

• When reading one of her Fancy Nancy books, she suddenly points to two words on the page and says, "Does that say 'Mrs. Glass?'"  It did!  She found out just by sight and then sounding it out. 

• Audrey asked who got up with Luke at night when he cried and I explained that Daddy and I took turns.  She said that we should give each other high fives in the middle of the night when we work as a team.  

• Luke's hair is getting thicker and longer.  The other day I noticed it sticking up a bit in the back and it melted my heart.  He looked like such a little boy with a tiny cowlick!

• When leaving the mall, Audrey begged David to pick her up, saying,  "Carry me, Daddy.  My legs are tired!"  Then, she added for good measure: "And I really like cozying up to you."

• We were driving down the road and talking about being patriotic and flags.  All of a sudden, Audrey busted out with the pledge of allegiance in its entirety.  Apparently they say it every day at school and she already has it memorized.

• Luke is getting such a personality...and a temper.  He will pitch quite a fit now if you take something away that he was playing with.  He'll also be in the middle of a huge tantrum and stop the second you pick him up and smile two seconds later.  He's a wonderful baby, but I do believe he's got just a touch of spoiled in him. :)

• Instead of saying "sweep it", Audrey says "broom it" and I don't correct her because I think it's adorable.

• One night we were talking with Audrey about how Luke was going to be her kids' uncle when she had children one day.  She got very upset and nearly started crying, saying that she thought he was going to their daddy.  She didn't understand that brothers and sisters don't grow up to marry each other.  We decided to table the discussion for another time.  

• One morning I was dancing in the kitchen and danced over to the table to take her a napkin.  I was holding a butter knife up in the air as I did so, and she strictly cautioned me that I "shouldn't dance with knives, Mommy!"

And, to close, my favorite:

• We had her parent-teacher phone conference late last week.  Mrs. Lindsy was very complimentary and said Audrey does really well following directions, participating, etc. She said the one thing she's trying to work on with her is "getting her to be three...and play more" because she's "quite the little adult."  Uh-huh. She also said she's gotten very good at rhyming words and will often rhyme in conversation. For instance, the other day, AJ told her that her hat was "itchy, itchy, b*****!" The teacher was cracking up about it and knew it was completely innocent. So, goals for us to work on: Drop the potty mouth. Act like a kid. Got it.

October 2012 and Halloween albums are up in the Picasa gallery!  Enjoy!

Thankful Thursday

House/Moving Update:  We had the appraisal on our place done today and should hear how that went by the first of next week.  We are also expecting a loan commitment letter form our buyers' lender by the first of next week.  With that, we'll go to our sellers and their lender and ask for the necessary extensions.  Keep praying!

Here is this week's list:

1.  Grandparents.  Today was Grandparents' Day at Audrey's preschool.  The kids sang for them and then they ate lunch together and did the hokey pokey (what I would've paid to see that!)  Though not all of them could make it, she had a wonderful time.  We are so blessed to have each of them in our lives and we're thankful for how good they are to us!

2.  Being finished with medicine...for now, anyway.  After ten days, Luke wrapped up his antibiotic last weekend for his sinus and ear infection.  Giving him that twice a day on top of his twice a day reflux medicine made me realize how very lucky we are that that's not typically our world.  Pray they stay well for a little while...I think I already hear him getting stuffy again!

3.  A great time at the pumpkin patch last weekend.  We had so much fun choosing a pumpkin (a couple, actually), riding on the hay ride, wandering through the corn maze, and racing rubber duckies down the pvc tracks.  Days like that are the stuff I used to dream about and I'm so thankful they've come true and are turning into sweet memories.

4.  Our library reopening.  I love taking Audrey to the library to pick out new books every couple of weeks.  Since just before Luke was born, the one closest to our house has been closed for renovation.  It just reopened and all the new work looks great.  I'm glad to have one so nearby again and can't wait to check out story time there soon! 

5.  Quick and easy dinners.  As in, 5 minutes of hands-on work.  I made chicken and dumplins in the crock pot one night and meatball subs (from frozen) another night then we had leftovers off of both.  They were lifesavers while David had to work late a few nights this week.  Super fast, super easy and only dirtied one pot per meal!  

Have a great weekend and enjoy this amazing fall weather!

A Dream Deferred

I finally decided to bring my Imperfect Perfectionist readers up to speed on all of our house/moving drama.  Below is the post I wrote and published on that site earlier today.  It may offer you a bit of encouragement as you struggle through your own unknowns this week.  If nothing else, it'll be a refresher and bring you up to speed on where we are now.  

...My Bible Study leader made a comment last week about how much blog material I've had lately with our house selling drama and I realized how right she was.  I don't think God intends for me to keep this story and the subsequent lessons I am learning just to myself.  Knowing that I'm struggling with such drama may make you feel like you're not the only one whose life isn't going according to plan at the moment.

The Back Story

It all began in April when my husband and I decided to put our house on the market.  We spent several weeks preparing the place by taking down most of our photos and personal knick-knacks, cleaning out closets and cabinets, and packing away as much "superfluous" stuff as we could per our realtor's recommendation.  We hauled stuff to a storage unit and locked it up.  We scrubbed and cleaned and made the place as show-ready as possible.  On May 10th, we listed our house for sale.  

We had plenty of showings and our first offer came in while we were on vacation at a family wedding.  We rushed back and forth to the library fax machine with our counter offer and anxiously awaited an answer on what would turn out to be a bust.  Then, a few weeks later on a Saturday night when I was up nursing my infant son at midnight, I checked my email to find another offer for full asking price.  I woke up my husband and we were so incredibly excited neither of us could sleep for hours.  Two days later, on June 19th, we were under contract.  Two days and at least 10 house tours and a million online searches after that, we found a short-sale we fell in love with and put a contract on it.  Then we started packing.  

We were very anxious about how the timing of everything was going to turn out because short sales are notorious for taking a long time to close.  (And, just to educate you on what I've found to be a common wrong assumption:  They are called "short sales" because the owners are short what they owe/short what the house is worth, not because they take a short time to sell.)  We wondered if we'd have to rent or move in with family until the new place was approved and we could close on it.  We were able to negotiate over a week's worth of rental time back from our buyers, so we felt that helped a bit.  We did the best we could to focus on packing and prayed God would allow the timing to come together.  

Turns out we had no reason to worry.  We were set to close on our current house on August 15th.  On the 13th, we found out our buyers had failed to qualify for financing.  Apparently the husband had claimed an $18,000 loss on an internet start-up business in 2011 and the underwriter did not approve.  They scrambled around but could not find another lender and we were forced to terminate the contract. 

Let me paint this picture for you in case you missed it:  We were TWO DAYS away from closing.  Granted, we had 1-2 weeks we were planning on renting back so not everything was packed, but a very good bit of it was.  Curtains were down.  Decorations were gone.  Any kitchen bowl, serving platter, or small appliance we didn't use in the average week was in a box.  So not only were we not moving, but suddenly we were supposed to be show-ready again?!  And let's not forget to mention the $500 worth of work and many man hours we'd put in getting the buyers' requested repairs done.  

We hauled boxes out to the garage.  I was so upset that I did most of it in one day of my kids' nap time.  Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.  48 hours later, we were back up for sale. 

The craziest part came just a few days later when our short sale approval came through.  It had gone faster than just about any short sale approval our agent had ever heard of.  Unfortunately, our sellers were not willing to let us extend the contract because we didn't have another buyer lined up so they let it expire.  So now our house was for sale again and we'd lost our dream house to move to.  Let me just say, I pitched a holy fit.  Then cried, prayed, wondered, prayed, and pitched another holy fit.  I specifically asked God that if this was not the right time, that we would not get any showings.  Not just no offers, but NO SHOWINGS.  

And yet they came.  Day after day I had to leave the house spotless and ready, as most agents would give me very little notice before they wanted to stop by.  Can you even imagine how rough this was with a six month old and a toddler?!  Many wanted to come at nap time or at dinner.  Very few were interested in what was convenient for us, but that's the name of the game.  On several occasions I would have the place cleaned, haul two kids out, and make dinner plans to eat somewhere (this was getting costly!) only to have them call and cancel at the last minute.

But, alas, showings poured in at a rate of 13 in three weeks and a new offer quickly resulted.  We went under our second contract on August 29th. We scrambled to try to get another contract drawn up on our short sale.  They accepted it.  We nervously sighed a sigh of relief.

An inspection took place and another due diligence period passed, but not long after that, on September 13th, we found out things were going south again.  Our new buyers (the husband was a commercial fisherman in Alaska, just as a quirky side note) had a major debt they weren't aware of from a car sale transaction a few years prior.  They were turned down.

We went back to market...AGAIN...but this time without the holy fit pitchin'.  We knew God brought us through once and He'd somehow give us the strength to endure this again.  In two days' time we had seven showings and three offers, two of which were for asking price.  Tried as we might, we could not understand what God was doing!  Why did we keep getting showings and amazing offers if this was not the right time?  We pressed on cautiously, accepted one of the offers on September 25th, and were granted an extension by our sellers on our short sale.  This time, however, we required our buyers to give us either a Loan Commitment or a Proof of Funds letter from their lender within 10 days.  Yeah, fool me once...or, uh,...twice and all that.  :)  

Now I know what you're thinking:  Surely the third time is a charm.  That can't be a saying for nothing, right?!  

Wrong.

On October 9th, we learned Buyer #3 (a single woman who owned several restaurants and was buying the place for her sister and putting 25% down) had a rather large discrepancy in her 2010 and 2011 income.  She wanted to have her uncle step in as purchaser.  Not a co-purchaser - just for us to start over with him as a new buyer.  

We quickly went back to the other asking-price offer to see if they were still available and would agree to our terms.  They were still interested and so we turned down the uncle, dissolved that contract, and entered in a new one with Buyer #4 on October 11th.  That very day we received notice that our short sale package had been approved again from when we went back under contract with them.  That meant the clock started ticking for us to close on it in 30 days.  

Where We Are Now

So here we are on October 23rd.  Over five months into this thing (six if you count the month of work we did to get it ready to sell, which I sure do).  Six months.  At least thirty showings.  Four contracts.  And a whole lot of extra side drama I didn't even bother to include.  (Don't even get me started on the back and forth between my daughter's would-be preschools and making that decision!) Believe it or not, I just gave you the main points!

The contract on the short sale house we want to buy is about to expire again.  In just over a week, our sellers will have to decide if they have any grace left in them to take another chance on us.  Then, their lender will have to determine the same thing, because we are going to fail to close within the required 30 days of approval.  We are both the sellers' and the lender's best hope of avoiding foreclosure, BUT, I can't say I'd blame them if they'd rather try to move on.

The good news is we still have an "out" if we want it.  We're 99% sure that even IF our buyers qualify, they aren't going to be ready to close by the November 11th closing date listed in the contract.  That means they'll have to file an extension.  If we get turned down by our sellers or their lender for our extension, we could refuse to give our buyers their needed extension and just kill the deal.  But oh, I can't even fathom listing this house again, even if we waited until Spring.  

I'm exhausted.  I'm frustrated.  I'm ready to have my stuff back in one place and all the boxes gone from my home.  I'm ready to know where we're going to be living in a matter of weeks.

Each month I take perspective pictures of my infant son.  Every time I pose him in the glider next to that month's number and his teddy bear I think, "next month I'll be doing this in the new place."  

When I buy a bottle of shampoo or open a new container of laundry detergent, I think, "the next time I have to open a new one of these, it'll surely be in our next house."  

Each expiration date I see at the grocery store, I wonder, "What stage will we be at in the journey by then?"  I know it sounds incredibly silly, but it's what I do.  

Thinking like that - always waiting and counting days - robs you of the present.  This whole process has shifted my focus for months.  There's the actual phone calls, emails, discussions, etc. that take place that steal minutes and hours and then there's the wondering and obsessing and worrying that take up huge chunks of energy and time.  Just the explaining to and updating friends and family takes an enormous amount of work.  

It's brought up in just about every conversation I have.  It fills just about every other thought I think.  It prevents me from committing to people I love and things I want to do:  "Yes, I can help you volunteer that day.  IF we aren't moving."  "Oh, we'd love to come for Thanksgiving.  IF we're not moving!"  "Start planning the class Christmas party?  Why, yes, IF she's still at that preschool because, you know, we are moving."  I even dream about it.

I've hesitated to draw this parallel because I was afraid of offending someone out there in blog land, but I'm going to take that chance because it helps me express what this has been like for us.  I feel as though, in the tiniest of ways, this is somewhat like trying to get pregnant.  Please note that I am NOT comparing it to facing infertility or the heartbreaking suffering of a miscarriage.  I just imagine that the roller coaster ride is similar.  Each month, I nervously keep my eye on the calendar.  I've written down one closing date after another - August 15th, September 28th, October 26th, and now, the latest, somewhere around November 19th.  Each deal that falls through and each date that passes, it's really sad for me to realize we've had yet another roadblock, another failure, another "not yet."  I feel like I'm in this huge limbo stage, unable to make real, long-term plans for our family because I don't know where we'll be.  And yes, I am incredibly blessed to have a family with which to make plans.  I know that.  I get that.  And I am so grateful for the blessings we DO have.  I'm just...so unsettled.  And it's unsettling.  

The Lessons

I wish I had a long, wise list to put here.  The truth is, I'm still trying to figure out what the lessons are that I'm supposed to be learning.  I get the obvious one:  patience.  Is that "it"?  (Not that that isn't quite big enough, thank you very much!)  

I know for sure I've gotten way better at being more flexible and releasing my need for control and preplanning.  Not to mention that if you had told me a year ago that I'd have half of a garage and a storage unit filled to the brim with boxes and containers and I'd be functioning okay with such a disorganized mess, I would've told you there was no way.  

I'm also cutting myself some slack about feeling guilty over being "materialistic."  I miss my stuff.  There.  I said it.  I want all of my possessions out of boxes and under one roof again.  And I think that more than making me sound like a spoiled brat, this makes me realize how the things I own are actually worth something to me.  I've missed each piece of decoration, each photo, that made our house our own.  They all came with stories and memories.  Those things gave it personality and warmth and it's okay that I want them to fill our walls and spaces again.  

I'm moving ahead and doing the best I can.  I'm making plans and committing to what I can.

I'm praying God's best for our family - and truly, truly meaning that.  If He chooses to keep us here or move us there or do something else entirely, I have learned to trust His big picture.  

So maybe I have learned more than I thought.  Quite a lot, actually.

One of my favorite quotes is by Max Lucado and says:  "God owes no one anything. No reasons. No explanations. Nothing. If He gave them, we couldn't understand them. God is God. He knows what He is doing. When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart." 

I am, Lord.  I'm trusting.  I hope you are too out there in blog land.  Whatever dream deferred or tough situation you're facing right now, seek His will and then trust it.  You may be disappointed in the short run, but boy is it worth what He has in store in the end.  

Letter to Audrey

Dear Audrey,

Yesterday I admired you for the first time.  I mean really, truly admired the person you are.  Now don't get me wrong.  Your Daddy and I are very proud of you.  And we've been awestruck by you hundreds of times in your nearly three and a half years of living.  But yesterday, I saw you in a different light and I...respected you.  Not just because you're a child of God and you deserve basic respect like any human being.  But because I saw a glimpse of who you're becoming and it struck a chord with me that I'll never forget.

I know this may not make any sense.  I tried very hard to explain it to your Daddy last night and I think he got it.  At least, he acted like he did.  But sometimes that's just code for, "it's really late.  Can we go to bed now?"  He knows I can be a bit dramatic at times.  I mean, after all, this particular chord-striking did occur at your basic preschool pizza party.  How earth-shattering could it have been?

For me, though, it was a very big deal.  As I stood there attempting to slice pizza with the dullest of knives (guess they don't keep too many sharp things around for obvious reasons), I watched you and your classmates file in from the playground.  You stood there quietly, waiting in line to wash your hands.  At the sink, I finally caught your eye and gave you a wink.  Your grin lit up the room.  You walked over and sat down near me, but didn't say hello or give me a big hug.  I gave you a small wave as Mrs. Lindsy started talking about the letter P and the sound it makes.  (Something, by the way, you've been well aware of for at least 18 months, but bragging on your intelligence is for another time.)

After the lesson, we started passing out "P" foods and I kept an eye on you.  You were quiet, but polite, as each helper walked by and asked if you wanted that particular thing.  As I hurried around refilling pink lemonade and giving Alex his third slice of pizza (someone cut that kid off!), I watched you carefully.  None of the children in the room were really talking to one another.  I know it's still a bit early to expect a lot of deep conversations from that age group, but I thought about all the meals you and I have shared and all the chatter that takes place then.  I knew your mind was busy thinking and I was a little saddened that I didn't know what about.

After lunch, I helped stuff the kids' folders with their artwork from the day.  Mrs. Lindsy called two or three kids at a time to get their folder and put it in their backpack in the hall.  You waited patiently until your name was called and then did what you were supposed to.  You came back in and found a spot to sit criss-cross applesauce on the carpet for group time.  Mrs. Lindsy began talking about God's creation and all the things He made, including pumpkins.  As she cut off the top of your class pumpkin, she explained the purpose of the seeds inside.  She held it and went around the circle, asking if anyone wanted to put their hand in and feel the goopy, stringy stuff.  You watched intently with your hands clasped tightly together in your lap.  "No way is she gonna go for that," I told myself, especially after the three kids right before you all shook their heads no and talked about how yucky it was.  She stopped in front of you.  You paused.  Then you slowly extended your hand and stuck it right smack in the goop.

At this point you must think I'm officially crazy.  "So THAT'S it, Mom?  You admire me for using good manners and sticking my hand in a pumpkin?!"

No.  I admire you because I realize how hard it must be to be three years old and be thrown into a class of strangers, most of whom don't speak very well yet.  I admire you for following directions without having to be asked fifteen times like Brian or Michael were.  I admire you because of all you've adapted to in such a short time.  I admire you because you are brave.  I admire you because even though your Mommy was in the class, you clearly didn't need me to be.  I admire you because you are mature.  I admire you because you can think for yourself and you didn't cave under the "yucky pumpkin" pressure.  I admire you for thriving in that little world in which I really have no control over or daily part in.  You're becoming a little girl.  An individual.  And a really, really awesome one at that.

I heard a sermon recently that challenged parents to raise children to become adults that they'd want to be friends with.  Not to befriend the child now, but to have that goal in mind.  Yesterday, I saw the glimpse of a person I'd definitely like to be friends with one day.  I've known you're smart and beautiful and funny.  But yesterday, I learned you are also marvelous in so many other ways.  And so I marveled.

Keep up the good work, Sugar.

I love you,

Mommy
xoxoxo