Misaligned Priorities

In an effort to avoid becoming overcommitted and over-scheduled,  I've had to learn to say "no" quite often.  I've become fairly decent at it over the last few years.  (Though admittedly I'm less proficient in the area of not caring who cares, but I'm getting better.)  I guard our family's calendar pretty fiercely and make sure we have plenty of down time and time for each other.  There is a fine line between living life to the fullest and living a too-full life, and it's one that I attempt to walk very carefully.  (Quick, somebody hand letter that onto a pretty floral background.)

However... 

Even when you make the choices that are only in line with your "best yes" and learn to say no to all of the other junk, there are times in life that are going to be just plain crazy (hello adulthood.)  A few months back I had a lot of balls in the air.  The Timber Trek was in full swing, I was planning my in-laws' 60th birthday party, room mom responsibilities were coming at me from both schools, and dear ones near me were requiring serious emotional support.  On top of that, the house stuff just seemed to keep piling up.  ("HOW do you people wear so many clothes and WHY do you need to eat ALL THE TIME?!")  I was overwhelmed and sinking fast.  

It came to a head one afternoon Audrey and Luke were playing and he did something he shouldn't have.  I called him into the kitchen and laid into him louder and more harshly than was necessary.  I don't even remember what he did, but I know my reaction didn't fit the crime.   His eyes welled with tears and I immediately thought, "I am failing.  I am failing miserably at this."  I calmed down and doled out time-outs for both of us.  As I tried to figure out what to do next, a realization came to me:  If I mess this up, nothing else matters.  If I succeed at everything else I'm responsible for but drop the ball with my family, we all lose.  

Ouch.

I read an article a few weeks ago that railed against the "constant sexist message women are sent: your 'job' will never be as important as your role as a mother — and if you try to do both you will always be failing."    

My blood boiled as I read the lies on the screen in front of me again.  Newsflash:  Your job WON'T ever be as important as your role as a mother.  Neither will any other parent's...male or female, Small Business Owner or POTUS.  Aside from your relationship with Christ, familial relationships are everything and should be treated accordingly.  

Let me be clear:  This is not about stay at home moms vs. working moms.  As was evident to me that afternoon (and a hundred others before it), it's possible for SAHMs to miss the boat. Just because we're there doesn't mean we're truly present and getting it right...oh lawd, it does not mean that.   And I'm also not talking about perfection nor the need to be 100% accessible to your family 100% of the time.  Balls will be dropped.  Family members are going to get short-changed during busy seasons.  Kids need to know your entire universe doesn't revolve around them.  We have to step up for each other and share the load.  But if it's too much for too long, something is broken.  

I wrote in this post two years ago, "Perfect balance doesn't exist, so the scale should always tip to the side that has your heart."  That afternoon I realized I was way off balance.  It wasn't a self-imposed guilt trip that I lamented over.  Instead it was actually a quiet, gentle reminder that my priorities had gotten misaligned.  Instead of letting it wash over me in a wave of discouragement, I took it as clarifying, freeing truth.  If I will run my next steps through the filter of correctly aligned priorities, what I need to do becomes crystal clear.  At that very moment, it was about asking my four year old for forgiveness and grace.  

The busyness remained constant over the next few weeks, but God shifted my attitude. Another message came to mind that I clung to:  if my kids see me serving others with a bad attitude and constantly doing so at their expense, what good is that example?  They need to know they matter and I need to remember to let go of what doesn't and hold on tight to who does.

September/Timber Trek 2016 Recap

As I write this, we are nearly at the end of October.  I don't know how it happened, but it's true.  Audrey asked me the other day how to write the date in numerical form and I responded "8/21/16"...apparently I am still very much in August.  Which is unfortunate, as I think September was a great month and I hate that I missed it.  

Here are the things I *think* happened last month, but I'm not sure I can be trusted:

• Labor Day weekend was crazy, but fun.  We were in Alabama on Saturday, over my dad and stepmom's on Sunday, and in Cobb visiting friends on Monday.  Nearly eight hours in the car total, but it was time spend with lots of people we love, which made it very much worth it.  

• Audrey's school fundraiser was at the beginning of the month, which meant a lot of communication and a lot of counting.  ("Really, Tommy?  Did you have to collect $0.16 from each of 32 relatives?"  Can I just write a check for $20 and NOT have to count all these coins?!)  Nonetheless, the school exceeded their goal and the class reached all of their personal incentives, which meant I got to supervise a "field trip" to the park next to the school for lunch and recess.  It was great to get the time with the class, as AJ's teacher isn't too keen on parent helpers this year.  

• Luke started Pre-K!!!  Unbelievable.  He was ready and excited.  Since he has the same teachers that Audrey did and a couple of buddies in his class, we were all pretty comfortable.  (But mark my words:  I will be a wreck next year.) 

• My mom came out and spent the night with us one Friday.  I had a cold and wasn't feeling the best, which put an unfortunate damper on things.  David and I still got a little date in and we all went to the neighborhood pool for a final swim of the season.  The kids bid it farewell through chattering teeth and blue lips.  

• We attended Suwanee Fest and enjoyed seeing the sights and overpaying for spray painted tattoos and bouncy houses for the kids.  

• Luke had a playdate with his friend Lilly that absolutely adores him.  (I can't remember if I wrote about it before, but she gave him a Bible for Valentine's Day last year and is head over heels for him.)  Her mom had been asking about a time they could get together and I finally relented.  She brought her older brother and Audrey came too.  Unfortunately, Luke was more content to run around than pay much attention to Lilly.  He tried, but he didn't cater to her quite like she expected.  I heard later that Lilly's feelings were a little hurt.  Sigh.  I'm not sure it's going to be longterm match.  I guess she's learning the hard lesson of managing expectations and he's learning that girls are often guilty of not communicating those expectations.  Plus, you know...they're FOUR. 

• We started back up with our small group.  We're co-leading with the Kirkleys again and discussing the sermon series.  We have mostly the same couples this time around, with the exception of one that left and a new one that came in.  It's actually Audrey's friend Kaelyn's family, whose mom I've known for years and did women's Bible study with.  

• Audrey began attending art club after school one day a week.  This girl of mine continues to knock my socks off with her artistic abilities.  At her parent-teacher conference at the end of the month, her teacher commented on how balanced she is and that she's great at doing a variety of things.  She's reading on an end-of-fourth-grade level and earning some "E's" in her gifted class, which is quite rare (S's are the norm). We are so proud of her for all of her achievements.  More than any of that, though, we're ecstatic that once a week she chooses to sit with a little boy in her class at the allergy table so he won't eat lunch alone.  (Others rotate with him too.)  As we told her, it doesn't matter how smart or talented you are if you're a jerk (we used nicer words.)  I pray she always has a heart for others.  

And of course, the Timber Trek happened this month!  Had I written this a few weeks ago, I'd have a lot more detail and umph for ya, but as it stands, it already seems like a million years ago and just thinking about it again makes me exhausted.  Here are a few highlights:

• Over 100 participated (half of which were from the neighborhood)

• $2,400 was raised for Family Promise and The SaltLight Center

• 22 businesses sponsored (And y'all, these were hard-won.)

We came in almost exactly where we did last year in terms of participation and money raised.  It was great weather and everything went very smoothly.  I am so grateful for the volunteers (many of them return helpers that got duped again!) and the support.  I love that people now know a little bit of the story of Family Promise and The SaltLight Center and can no longer say "I had no idea!" when they hear the staggering statistics of homelessness in our county.  I also love how the kids get to see me bust my butt for something that matters and join in as helpers.  

I'm still uncertain about whether there will be another race next year.  It's SO MUCH WORK.  Just so much.  Even though dealing with the HOA was much easier this year (non-existent, really), securing sponsorships nearly sucked the life out of me.  I hit up 70 businesses, most of them in person.  Every time someone made me do 7-8 follow-ups for a $75 level sponsorship, I was again reminded how very much I want to be a generous giver. Almost without exception, those at a $300 level or higher were the easiest and nicest to work with and those that gave the least were as stingy/flakey as could be.  

I know I won't do another one with Fundracers unless they take a smaller cut (and I don't want to take it on solo, especially since I wouldn't be able to offer tax deductions unless I incorporate), so we'll see what I can negotiate.  For now, we'll count this one a success and thank God for his blessing and favor on it.  

That's it for September!  Resolution updates will come for October's recap, which should be very soon.  In theory...

August 2016 Recap

The first week of August was spent trying to strike a balance between "Soak up the last lazy days of summer" and "It's ending! It's ending!  Quick, squeeze it all in!"  We went to David's office and had lunch with him, which the kids always enjoy.  We had Audrey's Open House and met her teacher, who seems to be just amazing.  Audrey also had an eye appointment where we found out...drumroll, please...

THAT SHE IS FINISHED PATCHING FOR HER AMBLYOPIA.  At least for now.  BUT STILL.  Praise God!  Over TWO YEARS of 2-3 hours per day of patching.  OH, the constant remembering and nagging.  But the doctor finally said she's seen enough improvement in that eye to let her go three months without patching it.  If she holds with regressing, we'll go six months and see how that does.  It was a very, very good day.  The kids and I celebrated with lunch out at Red Robin and getting a GF miniature bundt cake from a cute bakery nearby.

The last Friday before school started we went over to David's parents' house to have dinner with them and his grandparents that were in town visiting.  The next morning, David met his uncle and grandfather to play golf at a local course he's been wanting to try since we moved here.  The kids and I had just done the pool the day before, so when I got home from my run and sent David off, we just hung out and played.  That night we let Audrey pick where to eat dinner, which because one location was packed out, ended with us driving to the mall.  I detest going anywhere near there on a weekend, but at least we got in a merry-go-round ride after dinner.

At church the next morning, most parents were talking about how excited and ready they were for back to school.  I, on the other hand, spent the day trying to hide the tears that would come to my eyes every time I thought about sending her back.  I hate it.  Though Audrey was definitely more okay with it since meeting her teacher, she was still not bouncing off the wall about the idea.  Which is why when she suddenly decided that afternoon that her new book bag was too large (you've only had three weeks to deal with this, kid), I decided not to rock her boat and we agreed she could use her old one while I attempted to exchange the new one for a smaller size.  Crisis averted.  

Monday morning dawned bright (or dark) and early.  Though we didn't do a ton of sleeping in during the summer, it was still about half an hour earlier than their usual waking time.  Audrey was okay, but Luke told me "he was NOT finished sleeping."  After her special breakfast that included a chocolate chip pancake, she put on her a adorable new pale pink shirt with a cream lace heart and her lace navy tiered skirt.  She held her chalkboard sign and stood grinning for a dozen pictures, because by now she knows it's just easier not to fight it.  

How is this possible?!

David headed to work and Luke and I took her to school.  We always pray on the way to school and that morning I could barely choke back the tears and keep the sense of urgency out of my voice as I asked God to protect her and bless her year.  A dozen hugs and kisses later, she stepped out of the van and I promptly started blubbering as we drove away.  Luke asked why I was crying and I answered honestly that I was sad and really going to miss Audrey.  His reply was perfect: "Me too, Mommy.  But I'm SO excited for her and all of the fun stuff she gets to do!"  I know.  And I am too.  But man, it's hard to see her go.  I don't think it gets any easier the older they get.  I think you just learn how to better hide your sadness.

I didn't want to go back home that morning and have her absence thrown in my face, so Luke and I went to the gym and then out for donuts (because balance) and then ran some errands.  We ticked down the hours until it was time for the bus and went out there in the blazing heat long before we needed to.  She bounded down the bus steps and we settled in the house for snacks and stories.  I tried not to ask a million questions, but it's so hard!  It sounded like it had been a really good day and she was very much looking forward to all of the excitement that second grade held.  Let's hope that continues, because it sure does make it so much easier when they enjoy it.

We purposely kept our calendar pretty clear for the rest of the week so we could give ourselves time to adjust to the new schedule.  Luke and I cleaned house and I did a lot of Timber Trek work, but it was pretty low-key in the afternoons and evenings.  I had Kidsignments drop-off on Friday morning, so David's mom kept him while I did that and hit up a few more businesses for Timber Trek sponsorships.  As is our usual MO for the first week or two of school, we were in pajamas by 5pm that Friday night.  We'd made it.  One week down, 35 to go.  

The next week things picked up a bit.  We went down to Ikea that Sunday and bought the kids a new desk for the playroom since they had long outgrown their toddler Pottery Barn table.  We ate lunch downtown and came home to put it together.  That week I had my Kidsignments presale, we had Spirit Night for AJ's school at a local Rita's ice cream shop, there was a PTA meeting, a meal to a friend, appointments, and more.  In other words, here we go Fall!  

To top it off, I decided "Hey.  Why not paint a chalkboard wall in the playroom?"  So four coats of black paint, three days of drying/curing, and a good "seasoning" later, the kids got a new chalkboard wall.  (And it didn't take me long to make another trip to Home Depot for plastic carpet cover to put down just under the baseboards.  I had not thought through chalk dust on the new carpet.)  It ended up looking great and the kids have been having a blast with it.  

David had his annual guys' golf trip with Brian Taylor and some other guys to North Carolina that weekend.  The kids and I were pretty lazy.  They each got to pick one thing they wanted to do, so we did the pool on Friday night and then a pajama day until after naps on Saturday.  I took them up to the outlets that afternoon and then to the playground and out to dinner.  It really is so much fun to go and do with them now that they're older.  David came home Sunday night, seemingly relaxed and grateful for a nice chill weekend.  I was genuinely happy for him.  I like to think it's because I'm becoming a better person, but I think it's more about how much easier older kids are coupled with the fact that I get my girls' trip with Kara in October.  

We had curriculum night at Audrey's school the next week, where I solidified my position of room mom for the 5th straight year in a row.  The mom of one of her best buddies is going to help me out this year, which I'm thankful for, especially since I'll be doing Luke's class as well as PTA BOD again this year.  

The kids had a couple of playdates that week.  Luke had his buddy Patrick over and they played like little angels for nearly three hours while I cleaned house.  Audrey's friend Madison came over after school one day and they had a great time while Luke moped around until I let him have his fifteen minute turn playing with them.  Being a little brother is hard, y'all.  

That weekend we sent the kids to spend the night at David's parents while we went to Pike Nurseries and picked out plants for phase II of our side yard project.  (The one we spent our anniversary doing, remember?  Laying weed barrier and a rubber landscape border and creating a mulch trail was Phase I.  Phase IA was having someone come clear out the woods of all the dead logs and debris.  Phase II was planting plants.)  An hour later we celebrated not yelling at one another by eating Mexican food and coming home to binge watch a few episodes of our newest favorite show "Person of Interest."  We cut cable two months ago and, so far, are pretty pleased with the decision.  We definitely like the $90 a month that we're saving.  Even with out Netflix subscription, that's still $80 savings per month, or $960 a year!  Why did we wait so long?!

We got up early that Saturday and took a compromised walk (I wanted to run, David wanted to sleep) around a nearby area I love.  It's a big circle of unique houses tucked back in the trees and there are always a ton of deer out that let you walk right by them without flinching.  We grabbed Chick-fil-A chicken biscuits on the way to Lowe's to stock up on more plants and lumber for David's small retaining wall project.  We headed home and got to work on Phase II.  And I do mean WORK.  We started around 8am, stopped around noon for another trip to Lowe's and a drive-thru lunch, and then started back to work until around 3pm.  (Sidenote - I learned an important lesson while digging holes:  Should I ever need to get rid of a body, I'll have to figure out some way other than burying it because shoveling is not my best skill.)  We showered, took a catnap, and then got up and cleaned and prepped for dinner.  His parents brought the kids back over and we ate dinner and the peach cobbler I'd made to celebrate his mom's birthday.  The kids gave her their homemade cards and presents.  It was a good end to a day of hard work and we all slept very well that night.

So that was pretty much August:  Lots of Timber Trek work, lots of home improvement projects, lots of consignment stuff, and school started for AJ.  Shew.  

Here's an update on my year's resolutions for July/Aug:

Organizing:  Being consignment season, I did a great job of going drawer-by-drawer in the kids' rooms and playroom and a decent job of the basement.  I did some of the master closet by filing the kids' artwork and papers I wanted to keep from last year, but I didn't touch clothes.  I do still have a month left in this quarter, though, and I'll do a pretty good sweep of that when I change wardrobes to cooler temp clothes.

Serving:  We did buy school supplies for kids in need and took them to church.  We dropped the ball on marking cards for soldiers in July, though.

Connections with others:  Bi-weekly date nights are going strong and a monthly dinner with a girlfriend is staying consistent too.  We had a small group get together and had a good bit of family time, especially in July.  We do really need to make it a priority to attend a neighborhood event, though.  And as you can tell, my blogging is totally behind right now.  But hey, yay for those date nights, right?!  

I leave you with two funny quips from the kids:

• Me to Luke:  "You doing okay, buddy?  You seem a little quiet this morning."  Luke:  "Yeah.  My face is just tired." 

• Audrey turned in her two library books at school, but they weren't checked in, so the system still showed them as outstanding and she wasn't allowed to get any new ones.  She was so worried about her teacher being mad that she was in tears one night and I promised to walk her in the next morning and help her sort it out.  It calmed her a bit, but she just kept saying "But Mom!  Mrs. H says the training wheels are off!"  Oh boy.  (Rest assured, the books were eventually found on the library shelves.  I trust her more than I trust myself on stuff like that.  She would NEVER lose a library book.  That is a capital offense to her!) 

Happy September, everyone!  Enjoy the cooler temperatures and the fall festivities that are starting!

July 2016 Recap

I'm crazy behind on posting and it's driving me nuts, so I'm going to give a short recount of July in hopes that I can hurry and get August written this weekend as well too.  I have some serious catching up to do if I want to avoid this being a record-low blogging year, but one step at a time...

• For the 4th of July weekend, we went tubing on the Chestatee (it is a super calm section and we tied the kids' inner tubes to ours...they did great!), saw fireworks with friends from small group at a local park, and did our usual family reunion at David's Great Aunt's on the actual 4th.  It's always great to see everyone, although they and their children sure do keep getting older.  Glad that's not happening to us.  

• Audrey wrapped up her very first soccer season.  We are so incredibly proud of her and all the lessons she learned about being a team player, sportsmanship, and running towards the ball even if everything in you is scared and telling you to run away. The highlight of the season was when she got hit hard in the face and then got right back in the game and played on.  She was as tough as nails!

• We got to soak up a lot of extra grandparent time this month:  we went to the movies with my mom (The Peanuts Movie for $1!) and then AJ spent the night with her, the kids spent the night at David's parents, and my dad and stepmom came over for a visit.  Huge perk of summer to get that extra time with family.

• David and I went kayaking on the Chattahoochee River.  We did it for the first time last year, but this time we started out going downstream and then rowed back upstream at the end.  And yes, it did prove to be as tiring as it sounds, especially after I'd done a brick workout that morning.  But it's always cool to break out of the rut and do something different and adventurous like that together.  You just gotta remember to keep your mouth shut to avoid the E. Coli.  (Kidding.)  (Sort of.)

• We went out to dinner to a cool local spot and then went bowling with our small group.  I came in last by far, but I knew this about myself ahead of time and it was still a really fun night.  

• AJ had art camp for four mornings one week with a buddy of hers.  Each day the teacher led them in doing a 16 x 20 canvas painting and a craft, all with a circus theme.  She enjoyed the art itself a lot, but I think there was a decent amount of down time that made her a little bored.  We'll see if it's a repeat thing next summer.

• I did my second triathlon and lived to write about it here.  

• We went to visit Kara and her family for two nights towards the end of the month.  With all that she's gone through lately (she's doing incredibly well, by the way), it was an especially sweet trip this year.  We did a LOT of hanging out and catching up while the kids played and the guys went golfing.  We also squeezed in a boat ride to see the Purple Martin birds come in to nest at Bomb Island on Lake Murray that evening.  Once Audrey and Luke gained some courage, the kids took turns jumping off the back of the pontoon boat.  As the sun was setting, the birds were flying overhead, and the kids were laughing, I sat back and took it all in.  It was one of those "YES.  These are the 'good ol' days'" realization moments.  It is a rare and precious gift to have an entire family that your entire family gets along with and I'm so thankful for it!  

• I tried water skiing for the first time!  We all went out on David's parents' boat one Sunday afternoon and I gave it a try.  I got up the first time and each subsequent time, but no one really told me what I needed to do once I was up, so it didn't last long.  The first time I leaned too far back and the second I leaned too far forward.  The third time I'm not really sure what happened, but it sure didn't feel good when I fell.  Since I was less than a week out from my tri, I didn't want to push it too hard, but I'm glad I finally gave it a shot. 

• David and I celebrated our 12 year anniversary with some serious yard work.  As I wrote on the before/after picture I posted on Facebook, some anniversaries you celebrate with fancy gifts or tropical getaways and some anniversaries you work shoulder to shoulder in 90+ degree heat sweating your faces off to get a job done. As long as we're together and on the same page, it's all good.  (Next year I vote for the getaway.)

So that was pretty much July!  Great month of a lot of summer memory-making fun.  I'll update on resolutions in next month's recap, which hopefully will be following soon.  

Triathlon #2

A couple of weeks ago I finally completed my sprint triathlon.  It was a 400 yard swim, a 16.8 mile bike ride, and a 5k run.  I've been working towards the goal since my super sprint in May, but trained for that since November, so really it's been a 9 month road.  Yes, I trained for it longer than some people train for Ninja Warrior or, say, a baby.  So you can understand why my fists clench when I talk to people who minimize it or point out that they don't train much for that distance.  "Really?! That's so GREAT for you!"

It was about an hour away in a city called Clarksville, which is near Toccoa.  My nerves were pretty calm as I woke up early that morning and made the drive up there.  That is, until I exited the interstate and drove up and down some pretty massive hills on the way to the aquatic center.  I kept reminding myself that they were simply "rolling hills"...nothing to fear.  

Thankfully the heat wasn't nearly as terrible as I feared it might be, though it was humid.  I checked in, got body marked (still so cool), and started setting up my transition area.  I chose a spot next to a friendly looking lady and struck up a conversation with her as we laid everything out.  As I kneeled down to lay out my socks on top of my shoes, the entire back rack came crashing down, nearly missing taking my head off.  Within seconds, there were about five guys at our aid, pulling my bike up and resetting the bars.  It hadn't hurt us or any of our equipment thank the Lord, but it was definitely a close call!  Man would I have been mad if I'd had to bow out due to a concussion I suffered BEFORE the race!

With everything set, I did a final bathroom stop and then hit the pool deck.  These races that this particular company puts on are pretty small and informal.  As such, they don't take silly things like published start times too seriously, so those of us doing the sprint (there was also a super sprint and a kids' tri event) lingered in a line and chatted.  There were about 15-20 men and only 5 women doing the sprint.  (I'm not going to lie - that felt pretty cool.)  We listened to the race director outline the bike route and remind us that we had to do two loops around it for the sprint distance (in case the giant "2" they wrote on our hands wasn't reminder enough.)  Finally, at 8:15, he said it was time to begin.  I was near the back of the line with about four people behind me (all of whom I checked with at least three times to make sure they didn't want to go before me.)  The director staggered everyone one lap behind each other and it wasn't long before it was my turn to get in to pool.  

I took a few deep breaths and then as soon as he gave the signal, I pushed off the wall.  About 3/4 of the way through, I was gaining on the woman in front of me pretty quickly.  I didn't want to pass her, though, because I'd been insistent that she go first.  (It was the exact opposite of my first race, when the lady behind me was gaining on me and it pushed me to go faster!)  I took the opportunity to pace myself and attempt to simultaneously remember my technique while also not thinking too hard about it and relaxing.  I finished just behind her, climbed out, and ran to the transition area which was very close by.  As I got ready I reminded myself to slow down and take some extra time.  My first transition at the super sprint had been a hurried mess, so between the experience and my new bike bag for my phone, this one went a lot more smoothly.  I pedaled out and was on my way.

This bike route only involved two turns, so it was a lot easier than the first race.  The hills were indeed rolling, but not bad.  The only one that was really monstrous was right after we turned around to come back, which was tough because you were doing it from a dead stop.  There were a good many racers already on their way back in and I shouted "Good job!" as I kept my eyes peeled for David and the kids.  Like so many other situations in life, I've learned that you can distract yourself from your own issues if you reach out and encourage others.  I spotted my crew just pulling into a church parking lot and David jumped out to wave to me.  He got back in and they drove past me on the route and shouted encouragement as they went to another spot to wait.  It turns out they didn't realize I was only on lap one of the route due to our late start, so they got to see me several more times than they expected.  At one point I shouted that I needed water and David had some waiting for me when I returned from my loop.  It was so special to have them there as my cheerleaders...and not to nearly die in front of them like I did last time when I missed my turn!  

After finishing the bike ride (all in all it was okay, though it did get a little boring doing an out and back two times), I pulled into the transition area to rack my bike.  The kids and David were waiting and were able to come right over to say hello.  As soon as I stepped off, my knees nearly buckled and I felt that "jelly" feeling that triathletes always refer to.  It was unexpected, because I never got it during training.  Then again, this was the first time since May that I'd gone swimming and then biking, plus the hills were small but more numerous on this course, so maybe that made a difference.  As I picked up my hydration belt to clip-on, I let out a small "Ugggg" at the thought of the 5k I was about to do.  Later Luke asked me "Mommy?  Why did you make that noise when you picked up that thingy with your water on it?"  Because I was dog-tired, son, and about to run three more miles.  That's cuz why.  

I set out, gave the kids high-fives as I passed them again, and tried to ignore the cramp in my side.  The running course was all inside of the park/baseball complex, so I didn't have to worry about watching for cars, which was nice because I'm not sure I would've had the presence of mind at that point.  I nearly turned too soon when one of the course directors thought I was already on my second lap, but I figured it out and got back on track quickly.  I cranked up my music and played all of the mentally distracting games I could think of, but it was getting hard to ignore that I was tired, it was hot, and my legs were shot.  Finally, after what seemed like forever, I turned to do the final stretch to the finish line.  Of course it was uphill and took a LOT of mental coaxing to talk myself out of crawling.  I remember plodding up it, looking over and seeing David and the kids cheering, and taking out an earbud so I could hear them because I knew it would be what I needed to push me over the line.  I crossed it (wasn't able to sprint though) and the volunteer at the end hung the finisher's medal over my neck.  Glory be, I'd made it.  Thank you Lord!

I walked around, trying to get my heart rate to slow, while chatting with my number one fans.  They were so proud of me and it made me feel like the biggest superstar in the world.  As my mind cleared, I knew two things without a doubt:  1)  That I hadn't left anything on the course (meaning, I pushed myself as hard as I could, which is a good thing) and 2) That I would've stopped and walked some of the run if I hadn't had those two little pairs of eyes watching me and cheering me on.  

I changed clothes and we stuck around to see the results.  Turns out I finished first in my age group!  ...What's that?  How many people were there, you ask?  Well...let's just say I didn't wait around for the awards ceremony and medal because I didn't quite feel like I earned it.  :)

We headed home and celebrated a lot the rest of the day, mostly with food and sleep.  On the way back home from our nice dinner that evening, I turned to David and said, "Dude. I did a TRIATHLON today."  He laughed and said, "I know!  That's crazy!"  

It was and still is so surreal.  I had trained so hard and so long.  I thought back to all those early winter mornings driving 40 minutes roundtrip in the dark to the indoor pool.  All those Saturday mornings doing brick workouts.  All those days on vacation I got up and drove somewhere to get in my swimming or biking workouts.  All the bargaining with God to keep me alive and then the profuse thankfulness I'd whisper breathlessly after finishing another workout without dying.  All the time and the planning and the sweat invested.  And now it was over.  I'd given it my best and I'd finished.  It may have been slow and ugly, but God carried me through and now I feel like I have officially earned the title of triathlete.  We'll see if it ever happens again, but for now, I'm going to rest with a week off and a lot of chocolate.  A LOT of chocolate.  I think I've earned it.  

June Recap/Trip to New Smyrna Beach/Audrey's 7th Birthday

So sorry I've been MIA for almost a month.  It's been a whirlwind of a summer thus far.  We went straight from school letting out to the beach, from the beach to Audrey's birthday and party, from the party to prepping for carpet installation, from the carpet installation to 4th of July festivities.  I'm ready for those proverbial "lazy summer days!"

In order to not spend hours writing this update, I'm going to bullet point the month's highlights:

• Luke took swim lessons and did pretty well.  I feel like sometimes he pushed back on what the coach was asking him to do and the coach let him off the hook too easily.  Still, he got more comfortable in the water and learned some good basics and survival skills, which is great.  

• Audrey started soccer through a local program called i9 Sports.  I love their template of one game a week with practice right before the game.  They also have a short season of only six weeks.  It's a great way to introduce kids to organized sports and the subsequent lessons without overcommitting your entire family for months on end.  I'll do a lengthier update on how she did in next month's recap.

•  Our church campus hosted a small group leader cookout for us.  It was great to catch up and meet others as well as hear the support and excitement from our campus's leadership.  As one of them said, "Take a minute and look around you.  In a few years, we'll look back on these humble beginnings as the 'good ol' days.'"

• We took our annual trip to New Smyrna Beach with David's mom's side of the family the third week of the month.  We did it all:  David played golf, he and I had a date, we had a date with each kid separately, we attempted a crab hunt (it was way too buggy to stay out long!), I read and blogged, we ate flitters galore (and just food in general galore, too), the kids got to reel in some fish that David's cousin and uncle caught, we played cards, and we did Go Karts with the kids for the first time.  Of course, we also swam swam swam and the kids even "rode waves" a couple of times (it was super calm.) I managed to get in all my tri workouts thanks to a local gym and a great YMCA I found, which let me chill the heck out about my fear of losing ground.  We also celebrated Audrey turning seven a little early with a pizza party, craft time that she led for the girls, and a walk on the beach.  Unfortunately, as is par for the course for our trips down there, someone ended up sick.  AJ got terrible heat rash towards the end of the week and we kept her indoors for a full day to let it recede a little.  It looked awful, but we kept hydrocortisone on it and Benadryl in her as needed and it slowly went away.  Other than that, it was a fantastic week that went by too fast...more so than any previous trip down there that I can remember!  

• David had a good, quiet Father's Day.  We had just gotten in from NSB the night before, so they all slept in while I did my brick workout and then we went on a hike by the Chattahoochee River.  We gave him some golf accessories and took him out to dinner that night.  He sort of gets robbed with AJ's birthday falling right around the same time, but he's a good sport about it.  

• AJ's 7th birthday was great.  She wanted to eat from her favorite deli for lunch, so we got a picnic to go and went down to our neighborhood pool to swim and play.  That afternoon David came home early and we sent her on a scavenger hunt to find her present from us:  a Barbie Dream House!  In a "she's getting too old too fast and the window is closing" panic, we decided to splurge this year.  She was ecstatic!  When I took her to Toys R Us a few weeks early to get some ideas for presents, she walked past the dream house in a box, looked at me, and said "Well.  I know there's NO WAY."  I kept catching her sneaking back and checking it out.  It was a total full circle moment for me when she saw it, as that was by far one of my favorite childhood toys.  I even cleaned up a few of my old Barbies to give her with it, though I made sure she knew there was no pressure to keep any of them.  We played with it for the rest of the afternoon, setting up everything just so.  We ate her dinner choice of nachos and then had cupcakes from Jilly's on the back deck and sang to her right at 7:29 (the time she was born.)  It was a great day celebrating our amazing girl!

• AJ's "Mermaid Splash Birthday Bash" was the following Sunday evening at Bogan Aquatic Center.  That's right...her very first not at home.  (Well, her first birthday was at her grandparents' house, but this was the first that I didn't put on from scratch at a home.)  She had SO much fun swimming and playing with her friends and cousins.  She went around and around the lazy river and played on the little water playground they have.  They giggled and squealed for an hour and a half before we pulled them out to do cake and ice cream.  She told me on the way home that it "exceeded all of her dreams."  Score!  Plus, it was a breeze to put on since I did very minimal decorations (foam mermaid centerpieces she put together, balloons, pics of her at the beach/pool through the years, a GF mermaid cake from Sally's Bakery, and a paper banner)  and didn't have to plan a meal, craft, or game.  I also didn't spend days cleaning and setting up before and after.  I could get used to that!  

• As I mentioned, we finally got the carpet replaced.  I say finally because I originally got some quotes at the end of spring 2015.  After realizing how much it would cost to do it, we waited until the spring of this year.  But March/April was all about the deck and May is no time to deal with anything extra...hence June 2016.  It was a TON of work to get everything cleared off the furniture and packed away.  China cabinet, bookcases, dresser tops, underneath the beds...everything had to be put away.  And of course I couldn't miss the opportunity to do a little purging and organizing as I was doing it, which just took longer.  Since we had the entire upstairs and main level carpet replaced, that pretty much left the sunroom, basement, and bathrooms to pile stuff in.  The crew arrived early on the 30th and worked like crazy.  As they would finish a room, I would go in a vacuum so they could put the furniture back.  The new carpet was so much thicker that I actually hurt my shoulder pushing the vacuum on it! (I think David doubted me until I made him try it out in the hall.  We ordered a new vacuum on Amazon the very next day.)  It was a long, exhausting day, but the new stuff looks great and I'm very pleased with the color and how soft it is.  I completely underestimated the dust and post-installation clean-up required over the next week.  It took forever to get it out of every nook, cranny, and blind.  So to sum it up:  Lot of work.  Love the result.  But basically we're moving before we need carpet replaced again.  

I realize I did not give a resolution update in May, so here's a doubled-up version:  I'm staying on top of social stuff with at least two dates with David and a dinner with a girlfriend a month.  We also had two small group gatherings this month - one with our co-leaders at the cookout and one with the ladies for a girls' night.  I got to see my brother and niece twice this month when they stayed with us.  We also visited with David's grandmother and aunt while she was in town.  And obviously there was a full week with David's extended family in New Smyrna.  So, outside of blogging, I'm doing pretty well on the social goals.  BUT, I have completely dropped the ball on the service projects as we did not do birthday boxes or the neighborhood clean-up.  Ugg.  Realizing that as I write this will hopefully help to get my rear in gear.  For organization goals, I've done pretty well.  I did the dining room, garage, and most of the craft room and kitchen this quarter.  I still need to tackle the office, but in my defense, I also did both kids' rooms again this past month in preparation for the carpet.  (It is a CONSTANT battle to not drown in toys and art projects around here.)  As usual, doing well in some areas, need improvement in others.   

To close, some good quotes from the kids:

• AJ, after David told her that "they say" most everyone dreams every night but that they don't always remember it:  "Daddy.  You should trust the person that experienced it and not what you read on the internet."  TRUTH, girl.  

• Luke:  "Did that fire truck turn his 'whee-ers' off?"  (He meant sirens!)

• AJ, after telling her she probably wouldn't get any wisdom teeth:  "Oh no!  Does that mean I won't have any wisdom in my mouth?!

I know I squeezed  a lot into this one update and I'm sorry it wasn't more detailed (or maybe "you're welcome" is more apt!)  I just knew I needed to get it done or I'd lapse into a procrastinating absence for several months.  Hope your summer is going well and here's to a few lazy days in the latter half!

May 2016 Recap

While this May was a lot less stressful than last May, there's a reason this month is still considered the "New December."  David was gone the entire first week, which of course makes things tough.   Not only do I pull double-parent duty, but it always takes creativity to keep up with my workouts when he travels since he's not home for me to go early in the mornings.  Still, I managed to squeeze them all in, which probably helped with my mental health and stability a good bit. ;)  Later that week, the kids and I met my Dad and stepmom for dinner one night and his parents came over another night to help break up the witching hours of 4-6pm a little bit.  

Luke's preschool's Mother's Day Tea was that week as well, which is just the most darling thing.  He was so excited to have me there and to show me all of his crafts he made for me.  The teachers had filled in one of those little questionnaires with the kids' answers and the results are always so comical.  He'd confidently responded to the age question by saying that I was 40 years old ("If I'm four, that means she's four-TY!") but he redeemed himself when they asked when Mommy was the prettiest and he answered "now."  

David came home that Friday just in time for me to have my annual day off on the Saturday before Mother's Day.  I did my brick workout early and then went up to the outlets and moseyed around my favorite stores.  I left there and went by Target to buy a new book and then found a quiet scenic spot at a little park that overlooked Lake Lanier.  I read and catnapped for about an hour and a half before packing up and hitting a new eclectic local store that had everything from jewelry to kitchen tables.  I went through the entire place twice (I think that's my favorite part of days like that...just being able to take my sweet time) and then headed home a little early.  On the drive home, I realized that since Luke started preschool this year and therefore I have weekly quiet time to myself, my need for an entire day like that isn't quite as strong as it has been in years past.  That evening, David and the kids took me out to Ippolito's for dinner and it was delicious.  The next day on Mother's Day, we went to church and then had a picnic and short hike near the Buford Dam.  David grilled out for us that night and we enjoyed our newly finished/painted deck.  I kept recalling how I'd spent last year's Mother's Day weekend in bed with a stomach bug and was especially grateful that this year's festivities went as planned!

By week two of the month, all of the end of school year preparations were in full swing.  I was busy drafting letters about teachers' gifts and parties and attempting to field questions from parents that I was only scarcely less scatter-brained than.  (If I can take the time to organize this, please take the time to read it, people!)

Unfortunately, the first grade teachers also thought that May was a perfect time to have the students do their largest project of the year:  Making 25 homemade items and creating a step-by-step how-to guide to orally present to the class.  They would earn fake dollars for good behavior and then spend them at the market day on the last day of school.  After giving Audrey multiple project choices, she picked homemade soap and bookmarks.  We made the bug/butterfly-shaped soap in one afternoon and then bagged it and added personalized stickers later.  For the bookmarks, she did 3-4 each day over the course of several days and then I laminated them for her.  She knocked out the guide in two sittings, complete with illustrations.  Even though the teachers treated this as their homework and didn't assign anything else for the month, I calculated that we still spent at least three hours not including shopping time on everything compared to the 20-30 minutes of homework she has per week.  (So 180 min. vs the usual 90 min.  In the midst of May madness.  No thank you!)  Regardless, she did a great job and everything turned out well.  She sold out in the first few minutes of their Beach Blanket Bizarre! 

I got to go up to Kara's for a visit the third week.  I was just stunned at how well she was doing and probably drove her nuts telling her so.  To my great relief, her youngest was very happy to see me.  I was worried he would associate me with being away from his mommy since I saw him a few times while he was staying down here with Kara's sister.  Turns out that I'd apparently moved up a few notches in his book and he couldn't wait to show me and tell me everything, which made me so happy.  We ran a few errands (not only was she walking, she was driving!) with her youngest and then picked up her middle child and ate lunch out.  We caught up during their rest time and then walked down to the bus stop later that afternoon to get her oldest.  We played and caught up all afternoon and then I headed out around dinner time.  Though I always hate when we have to end our visits,  it was the best feeling to get to wave goodbye to her on her driveway surrounded by her family instead of in a hospital bed.  

Later that week, Audrey had her Field Day rescheduled due to rain.  Unfortunately, the new date coincided with Luke's last day of school.  Though he wasn't having a party, I still had to deliver the teachers' gifts plus the 16 bags I'd stuffed (each students sends in 16 items such as sidewalk chalk or bubbles and then they're dispersed in beach buckets or bags and sent home as "school's out" treats.)  I prayed that morning that God would just help me enjoy the day and soak up their separate milestones as best I could despite the franticness of attempting to be in two places at once.  

In Luke's class, we gave the teachers' the presents, took some pictures, and I handed them notes I'd written expressing my deep appreciation for them.  I couldn't believe our "Mrs. Alyson" days were over!  I was extremely grateful that we still had one more year of him there in the safer bubble of a church preschool program.  I hugged the teachers tightly and dashed over to Audrey's Field Day.  She was having a pretty good time and tried just about everything in the gym portion of the centers rotation.  The weather was very nice and cool compared to last year's event.  We made our way over to the field for tug-of-war and I laughed as several boys from the class huddled up to "talk strategy."  Her class won one out of three matches and then we walked inside to hand out popsicles.  While her teacher got them started on a writing assignment, I quickly decorated the door with a camping theme in preparation for her end-of-year party.  I finished just in time to go pick up Luke from his last day of three year preschool.  Just like when they had their Christmas parties on the same day, it was a bit crazy and frazzled, but I knew that without a doubt I would be longing for those hectic days in the not-so-distant future

The next day I took Luke in to Audrey's class with me to finish having the kids sign a photo mat and so I could put up a few party decorations.  He ate a picnic lunch in Audrey's seat while the kids were at their lunchtime and I hurried to tie large camping signs and a banner to the ceiling.  We finished just in time and headed home, where I began to load and double-check all my gear for the next day's triathlon.  I wrote in great detail about all of that here, so I'll skip the recap on it except to say that it was really, really awesome.  

The following Monday was Audrey's class party and it went well.  We had five centers set up:  painting sun catchers, campfire bingo, Let's Go Fishing game, sticker scene/worksheets, and paracord compass bracelet assembly (David and I prepped them for the party by completing about half of each bracelet and it was still very difficult for most of the kids.  I do not recommend them, but since the teacher bought them for us to use I felt obligated!)  After the students cycled through all five stations, we fed them a hotdog lunch in the classroom.  We presented the teacher with her gift (a monogrammed beach tote bag full of goodies and gift cards) and a framed picture of the class with their signatures on the photo mat.  We cleaned up party decor while the kids finished lunch.  I breathed a huge sigh of relief as I loaded up the van and drove home.  My first year as double room mom was finished!  I'd survived!  It may not have always (read: ever) looked like a Pinterest-quality job, but hopefully the teachers felt supported and appreciated and the kids made some good memories.  

Audrey had her last day of school that Wednesday and when she let out, we met up with neighbors and had treats from the Kona Ice truck that the neighborhood reserved.  Summer had officially begun!  Many of the kids had squirt guns (mostly from their parents who squirted them as they got off the bus!) and were spraying each other mercilessly.  After avoiding it for awhile, Audrey asked me if she could get wet in her regular clothes.  I told her to go for it and she had a ball running around with the kids and getting soaked.  I still get surprised at things like that when I realize just how much she's come out of her shell.  A year ago there would've been no way she'd have wanted to participate at all! We walked home, dried off, and had a special mid-week pajama pizza picnic party and watched a movie to celebrate the end of the school year.

That Friday was David's birthday.  I feel badly for the guy because he's always robbed on Father's Day since it falls right around Audrey's birthday and now, since the kids have started school and May means crazy end of year stuff, his birthday gets moved to the back burner as well.  He's a trooper about it though.  We took him out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant and gave him a pretty pitiful gift of a shirt, a hamburger press, and some grill seasoning made locally since he's really into grilling these days.  (Some years are easier than others to come up with a great idea...this year was not a good one.)  Thankfully he'd taken the day off to play golf, so at least he enjoyed that.  The kids and I had gone strawberry picking that day, so I made a gluten-free strawberry cake for them, his mom had made a regular strawberry cake for him, and we celebrated with those.  It was a low-key celebration, but hopefully made him feel as loved as he is.

The next day I did a brick workout and then we sent the kids off to his parents' house for an overnight.  We loaded down his dad's truck with bags of cedar chips and came home to do a few hours of yard work.  After showers and naps, we continued his birthday celebration with the restaurant and movie of his choice.  We ended up at a local BBQ spot that was delicious and then saw the new Captain America film.  The whole thing was nearly ruined for me as I couldn't take my eyes off the little four or five year old girl in front of us.  I'm really working on becoming a less judgmental person, but SERIOUSLY?!  There is no excuse for that.  Anyway, the movie was okay, but I was disappointed that the Avengers turned on each other.  I told David that I didn't like that part and that they should've named it something that made that clear.  I actually suggested "civil war."  He just looked at me and blinked, then gestured toward the enormous movie sign that read "Captain America:  Civil War."  We died laughing.  I had to have known that somewhere in my subconscious.  We came home and binged our new favorite show "Longmire" on Netflix.  

The next morning we drove out to pick up the kids at his parents' house and enjoyed a nice boat ride and picnic with them.  The kids are getting more and more used to the boat and I think this will be the summer we attempt some tubing with them.  The water was still a little too cold for any playtime in it that day, but there is still plenty of summer and subsequent heat left.  We went home for some rest time and spent the rest of the long weekend in some pattern of hikes, picnics, and vegging out.  

We ended the month with Luke beginning swim lessons.  He did a great job and was a lot less fearful than last year.  He had a male coach this year, which probably pushed him to be a little braver than he would've otherwise been.  He did feel the need to attempt to negotiate everything ("Well, how about you stand at that black line and I'll swim to you there?") but that got better as the week (and my warnings to stop it) went on. 

We also had our first family photo session in over two years at the end of the month.  My, how much easier that has gotten since the kids have gotten older!  No one griped, even though it was pretty warm out.  Audrey was practically modeling!  They turned out great and I'll be posting them on FB pretty soon.  

So that was May.  Other highlights include the completion of the deck makeover (we'd had to let the wood dry out on the newly-built extension for six weeks before having it stained) and getting the concrete patio underneath painted.  I was thankful to have both of those wrapped up.  There were also a few friends' birthday parties, a PTA Board meeting, and an All Pro Dads thrown in there.  It was busy as always, but it just makes the relaxed pace of summertime all the sweeter when it finally arrives. 

I'll close with two of my favorite quotes from Luke this month:

 - "Mommy, is today my twoth swim lesson?" (Meaning "second".)

 - "Mommy!  You are NOT going to believe how much hair is growing on my legs now!"  (He is seriously so proud of that.  It's hilarious!)

Happy Summer, Y'all!