"Momfidence"

About two months ago, I posted a blog about advice. This post is similar, but deals with the hundreds of bits of "expert" recommendations you receive from the dozens of "experts" you encounter.

Before you pull out of the hospital parking lot with your newborn, you will likely have met with at least 2 doctors (yours and the baby's), 6 nurses (lots of shifts), a lactation specialist, and a partridge in a pear tree (or maybe that's just a side effect of the drugs they give you.) Every one of them has words of wisdom to pass along. And rightly so, I guess. I mean, they are trained professionals.

Then you get home. You start pouring over the books you've already been pouring over for months. I think around month six of my pregnancy I quit reading pregnancy books and started reading infant care books. Baby Wise, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, The Baby Whisperer, What to Expect the First Year, Dr. Denmark Said It, The Girlfriend's Guide to the First Year, and The Ultimate Book of Breastfeeding Answers. Plus all the pamphlets and booklets we received from the classes we took, the pediatrician's offices we toured, and the hospital.

Then you have the first appointment at the pediatrician's office. So you get more advice from a nurse and a doctor and the check-in lady and the check-out lady (though I don't think the last two really fall in the expert category.)

All that listening and studying should equate to at least a bachelor's degree in caring for your infant. Watch a few episodes of "A Baby Story" and "Bringing Home Baby" and you might be at least several courses into your master's program.

Yet here you are with this little bitty tiny human. And you're clueless. "You'll learn their cries," they say. "She'll let you know what she needs," they promise. Lies. Every stinkin' cry that baby made for the first 8 weeks sounded exactly the same. I did quickly come to learn what she needed most of the time, but that's only because I got her on a schedule. So, technically, the clock told me what she needed. Plus, she is a really good yawner.

The very best advice I heard recently was from my Bible study instructor (a "non-expert" who has raised four daughters). She said that what new moms really need is 24 hours alone with their newborn baby on a desert island. Then they would realize they A) know their baby better than anyone else and B) they have all the tools and skills they need to care for him or her.

I couldn't agree more. The thing I have come to realize is that Mama knows best. And slowly but surely, I'm gaining "momfidence" in myself. (I coined that term from Woman’s Day magazine, by the way. I’m so not that clever.)

When AJ was first born, the doctor told us to keep her out of public places for two weeks and we chose to wait until almost three. Similarly, he said no public nurseries until eight weeks, and we still haven't crossed that bridge yet (maybe church nursery this Sunday?!) You may recall from a previous post that we allow her sleep on her stomach at night, which of course is a HUGE no-no. Several of the books I read said not to bother trying to get her on a nap schedule before three months, but she's been on roughly the same one since she was six weeks old. Most of the books also said not to dare let her "cry it out" at night before she was older. We went the earlier route and now 95% of the time she goes down for naps and bedtime without a peep.

All of these things went against the experts' opinions and yet she's doing fine. I dare say our little Chunk is even thriving. Of course, I'm not saying any of this is right for your baby, but then again, you probably already know whether or not it is. Why? Because Mama knows best.

So yeah, read the books. Take the courses. Ask your doctors questions and listen to their advice. And then go home and make up your own dang mind. Have some "Momfidence" in yourself. You can do it!