One Month!

Yesterday was Audrey's One Month Birthday! In some ways it seems like less than a month and in others it seems much longer. Thinking back to the delivery and those first few days at home, it seems like ages ago. But, given how far we've come and how much we've already learned, it feels like she has been a part of our family forever!

We've had quite a few milestones the past couple of days. On Friday, she spent her first night in her crib in her room. It was a tough night, but I don't think she struggled with it nearly as much as I did. I missed sleeping the whole first sleep shift because I just laid there in bed in the dark and watched her on the video monitor.

Another major ordeal in our household has been the decision to let her sleep on her stomach. For those of you without kids (or those of a different generation) this is a major no-no in the baby world. Because research has shown that it puts babies at a higher risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, the American Acadamy of Pediatrics strongly recommends that babies sleep on their backs. They even started a "Back to Sleep" campaign in 1994 to get the word out. Since then, SIDS rates have dropped 40%. (Of course, my Critical Thinking class in college taught me to question other reasons for this decrease, such as getting the word out about additional risk factors, etc. But I digress.)

That being said, I think mother's intuition comes into play at some point. Audrey has never been a great back sleeper because she flails her arms and legs so much. Swaddling helps a little, but mostly she just grunts and groans trying to get out. We had several really rough nights and have tried everything in the book (several books, actually, including Baby Wise, The Baby Whisperer, and The Happiest Baby on the Block.) We attempted swaddling, not swaddling, using a pacifier, rocking, more frequent nursing, burping, noise machine, etc. We even let her cry it out for a long time…that was painful for all of us!

While some of the techniques worked short-term, it was clear we needed a better solution. I didn’t want to try putting her in a swing, bouncy seat, carrier, or hold her while she slept because I’m determined not to create habits we’ll only have to break later. I'm not going to put my baby in the car and drive around the neighborhood every time she needs to sleep for the next year. Since I’m confident there was no issue with hunger, gas, dirty diapers, or the room temperature, I knew what would fix it. SO, we finally put her on her stomach. She fell asleep immediately and slept longer than she has to date. We tried it again last night, thinking maybe it was a fluke because she was so exhausted, but she broke another record for longest amount of consecutive sleep.

But, of course, I had another terrible case of Mommy guilt. I fully expect DFCS to show up at our doorstep at any moment. I called several friends, including one that is a pediatric nurse, and grilled them about what they thought. Bottom line: because she is a full-term female breastfed baby, she is in the lowest risk category. I have to keep telling myself that an entire generation of us were raised sleeping on our stomachs. In fact, it used to be the recommended position to prevent a baby from choking on spit-up.

Now, mind you, we still have the Angel Care movement monitor, we removed the bumper and all blankets from her crib, we turn on the overhead fan (recent research says this lowers SIDS risks), and we keep the room on the cool side (overheating is also thought to be a major SIDS factor.) I confess I even went out and bought a second Angel Care monitor so I can use it in her pack n' play for naps. Maybe once she gains better control of her limbs, she'll be fine on her back. Maybe not. But the truth is, she is God's child. And He's got the little bitty babies in His hands. We all need our sleep, especially AJ. I just have to trust that the God who never rests is on alert and watching her 24/7. But please, spare me any mean comments or advice lest I burst into tears over this decision. Just join me in praying that God will keep her safe.

Anyway, another major milestone was her first bottle! I started pumping on Saturday (quit reading now if this is TMI) in an effort to get my body used to producing enough for one pumped bottle a day. We achieved this feat and David gave AJ her first bottle last night. The poor child about choked to death because the milk was coming so much faster than she was used to. Now I understand why they recommend you wait a month before introducing a bottle. If she realized weeks ago that she could get the milk out that fast without have to work for it, she would never have lasted! I'm still figuring out the pumping thing. I'm hoping eventually it will allow me to get out of the house for longer periods or even let David and I have the occasional date night. Here's to goals and dreams...

So, it's been a crazy month, especially these last few days of it. I can't even begin to explain the emotional rollercoaster I've been on. With each day that passes, though, I feel more and more confident in my abilities and decisions as a mother. Or maybe I'm just getting better at faking it, which I think is a lot of how this parenting thing works. I'm optimistic that by the time she is old enough to catch on, we'll actually know a thing or two!

In closing, here is a look at the past month in numbers:

• Approx. 250 nursing sessions
• Approx. 310 diapers
• 53 visitors! That's right, 53 different people have come to meet our Baby Girl. This doesn't count "repeat" visits from the grandparents and others! She is a popular girl!
• 9 baths
• Not nearly enough hours of sleep
• Countless hugs, kisses, and cuddles

Happy One Month, Audrey! We love you more than you will ever, ever know and can't wait to see what this next month holds for us!

New pics are up - enjoy! Click the link under Our Photos on the right side of the page or below:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2213349&id=22619877&l=6fef3ae195