Growth Spurts and Teething

I think I mentioned something about these things before, but I've decided they need an entire post to themselves. It just might save me from clocking somebody.

If I hear "Oh, she has started teething" or "She must be going through a growth spurt" one more time, I think I'm going to scream. EVERYTHING that has been slightly off about this child has been explained away by one of those two diagnoses, usually by someone who has never spent more than five minutes with our daughter.

Sure, both are valid explanations some of the time. Of course she is growing like crazy...she is a baby, after all. It's what they do. As far as the teething thing, I know they can start exhibiting symptoms months before a tooth appears, so yeah, she could be feeling the effects now. But neither one can be the case all the time! My sister-in-law explained that my niece's growth spurts are nowhere around when the books say they should be. Is she an early developer? Or is she late? Was her gestational period off? People can drive you crazy worrying about those dadgum growth spurts.

So when does it end?! I can just see it: Audrey will be playing soccer one day and get kicked in the shin. Black and blue, she'll come to me crying and I'll say "It's okay! Just walk it off. It's only a growth spurt." She'll walk in the door from a particularly bad day in high school and I'll say, "Oh honey. Don't worry about it. You're just teething." Bad grade on a math test? Growth spurt. Fight with a friend? Teething. Got a speeding ticket? Growth spurt AND teething.

I must admit, I've often used both as excuses for her odd behavior. But I'm allowed - I'm the mommy. I spend every minute of every day with her, so I'm more likely to actually know when it's a valid answer. Sometimes, though, she may wake up at night because she is cold. Or has her arm stuck outside the crib. If she eats more frequently one day, I don't automatically assume it's because she is in a growth spurt. There are some days that I am more hungry than others and I'm pretty sure I'm done growing (vertically, at least.) And she puts her hand in her mouth for everything. She has done it since she was in the womb - she came out with suck marks on her fingers, for pete's sake. It does not necessarily mean she is teething or hungry. She just loves to suck on her hand! It's comforting to her!

So, not to offend you if you've offered up these explanations to us before. We're just super tired of hearing them. Of course, as I said, sometimes they're right on the money. Other times they're way off. Who knows. It's become such a joke in our house that David and I can hardly look at each other when we hear someone say it. We're so immature. Or maybe we're just teething.

One Outta Two Ain't Bad

...good days of the weekend, that is. Saturday was kind of a wash-out, and not just because of the rain. Audrey started having some eating issues, which seemed to escalate by Saturday. (More on that later.) So, we battled that most of the morning, but it was okay, because I was looking forward to going out by myself for a little while that afternoon. I had this beautiful scene painted in my head: I was going to drive through Starbucks and get a special decaf treat on my way to shop for some Halloween Party decorations. I could see it now - strolling through the aisles at a leisurely pace, sipping on my yummy coffee, and selecting just the perfect items that were ridiculously low priced. I even had a little fantasy where I jumped on the cart with one leg and skated down an aisle with the other leg in the air behind me. It was going to be great. It was going to be relaxing. It was going to be fun.

It was not going to happen.

Audrey took longer to eat than expected, so I got a later start out the door. No problem. I just skipped the Starbucks run. I didn't need the calories anyway. So I drove to Old Time Pottery and pulled into the parking lot just in time to see employees lining up buggies to block the door and hanging a "temporarily closed" sign outside. What on earth?! I rolled down the window and asked what was up. Apparently they'd had a "small electrical fire" and the fire department was making them close for a little while so they could make sure everything was safe. They were going to open back up in about an hour. Okay, that would still give me enough time to shop, though not quite at the leisurely pace I'd hoped for. No sweat, though. I decided to get my coffee and come back.

Cue torrential downpour and horrific traffic here. I fought my way down the street in pouring rain to the closest Starbucks. There was no parking space in sight...not that I wanted to schlep back and forth in that kind of weather anyway. I considered that it may be time to call it quits and head home. The thought of fighting traffic all the way back was not at all relaxing. But, my stubbornness kicked in and I decided to take a detour back to Old Time Pottery.

I got back a few minutes early, so I thought I'd hit up the Dunkin' Donuts drive-through. I pulled up and ordered a decaf and a donut. "Huh, What?" was the lady's response to my order. I repeated it slowly but politely and she barked, "Pull up." There was no one in front of me, so I just kept on driving. My nerves were getting the better of me and I really couldn't take poor customer service at this point...or the chance that she probably wouldn't remember I'd said "decaf."

Thankfully, there was a Krispy Kreme right across the street (I know, I know. Should've started there). I went through the drive-through and ordered. The man politely told me my total and said "please pull forward." Well sure I will! Thank you for your nice manners! As I rolled the window down to pay (I'd rolled it up after ordering because it was still raining cats and dogs) a huge waterfall gushed in all over my door panel and pants. I took my items from him, thought some bad words but didn't say them, and drove back over to Old Time Pottery. I saw an employee still stationed out front and thought I'd better clarify the opening time before I sat there waiting. Sure enough, she said it would be an additional hour or so before they reopened. Defeated, I drove home.

We spent the rest of the afternoon/evening battling Audrey's eating issues and her new diaper rash, ending the day with me bawling my eyes out because I was convinced I was starving my child. I finally gave in and gave her a bottle of breast milk while I pumped and alternated between being unbelievably heart-broken and furious at my own body for not cooperating.

Sunday morning we got up early and got ready for church. David gave Audrey a bottle while I pumped (8 oz in 20 minutes, so things were back "on" in that department, at least for the moment.) We drove to church and dropped her off in the nursery for the very first time while we went to volunteer with the kindergarten class. I was one of "those" moms who had to explain about the diaper rash and rambled about her sleeping on her stomach, but I'm sure they're used to that. I walked away quickly before I could start crying and went to find our classroom.

It was hectic getting there and getting settled, but it definitely offered the distraction I needed from worrying about AJ the whole time. We had six very excited five year olds between the two of us, so the morning went by quickly. When I went to pick Audrey up, her eyes were wet like she'd been crying which broke my heart. Of course that's ridiculous because she is going to cry, but it still made me feel bad that I wasn't there to help her. Her diaper hadn't been changed (or they forgot to put a sticker on it) which aggravated me since I'd explained about her diaper rash, but I reminded myself that these sweet people are volunteers who do the best they can. I can't expect them to do things perfectly or "my way", and it's good for Audrey to learn to be flexible. At least, this is what I'm going to have to tell myself at every drop-off for the next year. Yeah, I realize by child #2 I'll probably barely slow down as I shove him or her in the door. But, this is child #1 and I'm new at this, so I'll kindly ask you to keep the overprotective mommy jokes to a minimum.

Anyway, we raced home to get her fed. She ate a decent meal and then David's parents came over to keep her while he and I went out for a date. We went to a nearby Fall Festival and enjoyed the beautiful autumn day without any rain. I had debated about bringing Audrey, but ended up being glad we didn't. It was too hot in the sun and way too crowded for her stroller. Next year we'll give it a shot, but this time David and I enjoyed strolling around and looking at all the arts and crafts by ourselves. We ate lunch and bought Audrey a few books from the library's book sale and then headed out. We stopped by Wal-Mart on the way home and grabbed a couple of things, then spent the rest of the evening relaxing together.

So, Sunday was much better, though the eating issues are still troubling us. It's quite the chicken or the egg kind of ordeal. We're not sure whether she is getting more distracted and not eating well which caused my supply to go down or whether she's not eating well because my supply went down. Either way, I'm taking steps to increase my supply and keeping an eye on AJ's hydration. I would really appreciate your prayers in this area. Only a mother who has breastfed can understand how it cuts you to the core to think you're failing to provide nourishment to your baby. Oh my goodness has it been a rough few days in that regard.

Anyway, that's the latest in our household. Hope your week is off to a good start. We'll post more updates soon!

Thankful Thursday

This Thursday I am thankful for...

1. The fact that we are okay after all of the flooding metro Atlanta experienced this week. There are a lot of families that lost their homes, their possessions, and even a few who lost loved ones. We had a few road closures near us, but we stayed safe and dry. Thank you, God!

2. Audrey rolling over. She went from her belly to her back for the first time two weeks ago, while I had the video camera pointed at her (how great was that timing?!) Since then, she has done it a couple of times a week. I'm not sure she "means to" yet, but we're proud of her nonetheless and thankful for this new milestone.

3. My Ladies' Bible Study group. I know I listed this two weeks ago, but I'm just that thankful for it. It has been SO long since I've sat around a table with other women and gotten into God's word. There is a wonderful age mix, too, which I love. There are women who are right where I am (four of us just had our first baby), a little ahead (several have toddlers and multiple kids), a lot ahead (a few have school age kids), and way ahead (a couple have adult children). It's such a blessing to be with a room full of moms who GET it. I knew I would fit right in when our teacher said "Don't worry if you don't get to any of the homework. I know some of you are probably thinking 'I do nothing but nurse ALL DAY LONG.'" Yeah. They get it.

4. My family accepting me for who I am. And David's family for the same reason. I emailed them this week about Christmas plans and not one person got in the car, drove to my house, grabbed me by the shoulders, and shook me silly for bringing up a holiday that is still three months out. No. They realize that I need to organize. I need to know. I need extra time to get things done this year. They may have rolled their eyes, but in the end they indulged me and now we have a plan. Awesome.

5. www.stuffchristianslike.net A friend introduced me to this website last week and it's hilarious. It's a knock-off of www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com and, in my opinion, is much funnier (and cleaner). Just fair warning that it's not for everyone, though. It requires a love of sarcasm and a sense of humor about some of our admittedly strange habits/likes/quirks. It's got some great messages woven in with the humor. I've started from the very first post, so I can't speak for his latest works yet, but so far, he's making me LOL all over the place.

Last but not least: PICTURES ARE UP! PICTURES ARE UP! Check out her "Third Month" and her "Fourth Month" albums for the latest and greatest. I know - way to bury the lead, right?! Enjoy!

"Momfidence"

About two months ago, I posted a blog about advice. This post is similar, but deals with the hundreds of bits of "expert" recommendations you receive from the dozens of "experts" you encounter.

Before you pull out of the hospital parking lot with your newborn, you will likely have met with at least 2 doctors (yours and the baby's), 6 nurses (lots of shifts), a lactation specialist, and a partridge in a pear tree (or maybe that's just a side effect of the drugs they give you.) Every one of them has words of wisdom to pass along. And rightly so, I guess. I mean, they are trained professionals.

Then you get home. You start pouring over the books you've already been pouring over for months. I think around month six of my pregnancy I quit reading pregnancy books and started reading infant care books. Baby Wise, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, The Baby Whisperer, What to Expect the First Year, Dr. Denmark Said It, The Girlfriend's Guide to the First Year, and The Ultimate Book of Breastfeeding Answers. Plus all the pamphlets and booklets we received from the classes we took, the pediatrician's offices we toured, and the hospital.

Then you have the first appointment at the pediatrician's office. So you get more advice from a nurse and a doctor and the check-in lady and the check-out lady (though I don't think the last two really fall in the expert category.)

All that listening and studying should equate to at least a bachelor's degree in caring for your infant. Watch a few episodes of "A Baby Story" and "Bringing Home Baby" and you might be at least several courses into your master's program.

Yet here you are with this little bitty tiny human. And you're clueless. "You'll learn their cries," they say. "She'll let you know what she needs," they promise. Lies. Every stinkin' cry that baby made for the first 8 weeks sounded exactly the same. I did quickly come to learn what she needed most of the time, but that's only because I got her on a schedule. So, technically, the clock told me what she needed. Plus, she is a really good yawner.

The very best advice I heard recently was from my Bible study instructor (a "non-expert" who has raised four daughters). She said that what new moms really need is 24 hours alone with their newborn baby on a desert island. Then they would realize they A) know their baby better than anyone else and B) they have all the tools and skills they need to care for him or her.

I couldn't agree more. The thing I have come to realize is that Mama knows best. And slowly but surely, I'm gaining "momfidence" in myself. (I coined that term from Woman’s Day magazine, by the way. I’m so not that clever.)

When AJ was first born, the doctor told us to keep her out of public places for two weeks and we chose to wait until almost three. Similarly, he said no public nurseries until eight weeks, and we still haven't crossed that bridge yet (maybe church nursery this Sunday?!) You may recall from a previous post that we allow her sleep on her stomach at night, which of course is a HUGE no-no. Several of the books I read said not to bother trying to get her on a nap schedule before three months, but she's been on roughly the same one since she was six weeks old. Most of the books also said not to dare let her "cry it out" at night before she was older. We went the earlier route and now 95% of the time she goes down for naps and bedtime without a peep.

All of these things went against the experts' opinions and yet she's doing fine. I dare say our little Chunk is even thriving. Of course, I'm not saying any of this is right for your baby, but then again, you probably already know whether or not it is. Why? Because Mama knows best.

So yeah, read the books. Take the courses. Ask your doctors questions and listen to their advice. And then go home and make up your own dang mind. Have some "Momfidence" in yourself. You can do it!

Parent-Child Dedication

I know you've just been on pins and needles clicking "refresh" every five minutes on your browser trying to get the latest scoop on the Sinyard household. Well, your wait is over:

On Sunday we were supposed to do a 5K, but decided to bow out because of the threat of rain. We didn't want to risk dragging Audrey through it in bad weather. Just as David was getting ready to go to church, (it was too late for me to join him. Beauty takes time, especially now that it means getting two females ready) I hollered for him to come to the nursery where I'd just taken Audrey's temperature and it read 100.4. She'd felt a little warm, but that was .1 degree short of calling the doctor. David hates the thermometer I had used because he thinks it's way too fast to be accurate and it's given us false readings before. So, the poor baby had to go for round #2 with another thermometer. This time it (slowly) read 98.9. I chunked the other one in the trash and we decided to check her again when she got up from her nap. David's window for church had passed, so we focused on getting the house and ourselves ready to host people later that evening. It's a good thing we skipped the 5K and David stayed home to help because I'd completely underestimated the amount of time it takes to "whip up" 5+ lbs of chicken salad.

When Audrey woke up, her temperature was normal, thank God! We left the house at 3:00 to make it in time for our 3:30 picture appointment. (They do a complimentary professional photo before the service for each family.) After we posed for that, we found a quiet room and laid her down for a short nap. We woke her up at 4:15 and went to the service that started at 4:30. She did great, despite being awoken from her nap. The service was so sweet and just the perfect length of time for a room full of babies and toddlers. They had someone sing, the Pastor spoke, the Director of Preschool spoke, and then each family was introduced and signed their own Parent-Child Covenant. It read:

On this, your dedication day, we promise to be faithful parents and to introduce you to the love and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ by His grace at work in us. We also promise to pray consistently for your physical, emotional, and spiritual well being. We will do our best to model Deuteronomy 6:6-9 which says: "These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates." Most of all, we will love you with an everlasting love because you truly are a gift from God. This is our covenant to you our child.

What an awesome responsibility, huh? I cried like a Mom. I think some hormones never recoup post-pregnancy.

We left the church and came back to the house with my parents, my grandmother, and David's parents. His grandparents came to the service but understandably wanted to head back to Alabama before it got dark, especially since it was raining. We had dinner - chicken salad sandwiches, fruit, chips and dip, and potato salad. (A nice compromise between ordering pizza and cooking a sit-down meal for everyone) and dessert (cookies by my mom, Chocolate Delight by David's mom. Both were delicious!) and then played pass the baby until the baby had been passed enough and went to sleep. It was a wonderful day and we were thankful Audrey handled all of the excitement so well.

I'm going to get pictures posted soon, I promise! She looked so beautiful in her little dress. I've also taken her 3 month perspective shots and will get those up soon, too. Just wanted to let everyone know it went well! Hope you had a great weekend, too!

Thankful Thursday

I just read the news that Annette Maxey passed away last night. I wrote about this amazing family in a post a few weeks ago, explaining that in 2004 they lost their daughter Madeline to cancer when she was just over a year old. Last night they said goodbye to their daughter Annette, who was just 2 1/2 weeks shy of her first birthday.

When I found out, I went and got Audrey out of her crib and rocked her and held her close for the rest of her nap. It is unfathomable what this couple has had to endure. My heart breaks for them.

I had a longer post I'd been working on for today. I may post it tomorrow, but all I can think about right now is this family and their situation.

My list is short this week: I am grateful for a healthy baby. I hope you and yours are well and that you take a minute to hug them tightly today and lift up a prayer for Kirk, Natalie, and Grant as they face the days ahead.

Thankful Thursday...with no time to spare

It's been a busy week and next week isn't going to be any better. Of course, what I count as busy these days is slightly different than it used to be and is totally relative. Both my sisters-in-law are managing motherhood and jobs, one while preparing to move, so I really have no room to talk! Nevertheless, I've got more going on than I've had in the past several months and I'm out of practice!

What I once could have gotten knocked out in one afternoon is taking forever to cross off the list. I've gone out three different times shopping for my grandmother's 80th birthday present, trying to find a dress for myself and Audrey for her dedication at church, and buying Bible study supplies. It just takes forever when you're operating on an infant's schedule. She doesn't sleep very well away from home anymore, so timing is proving rather difficult.

I still haven't found outfits for either of us and I've yet to order a cake that I need for my Grandmother's birthday get-together on Saturday! I haven't been to the grocery store all week and I'm kind of amazed we've lasted this long on random leftovers and freezer-stocked stuff (thanks, Mrs. Linda for your yummy emergency meal!) I'm way behind in planning our annual Halloween party for friends from HS/College and there are several returns I need to make that are just sitting around in bags driving me crazy. Not to mention I really need to get to the bank, the dry cleaners, and the library soon before these checks expire, the cleaners donate our clothes, and the library posts a "Wanted" ad because they think we're thieves. Don't even get me started on how pitiful my Christmas shopping pile looks. I'm usually more than half-way finished by now and completely through and have half of it wrapped by Thanksgiving. Poke fun if you will, but this frees me up to decorate, bake, host/attend parties, and just enjoy the season instead of spending it with strangers in a crowded mall. I've always been amazed when I hear about the madness in stores on Christmas Eve. The holidays are the same time every year, people. It shouldn't take you by surprise.

Anyway, back to the present: Next week is going to be focused on getting the house cleaned and decorated for fall. I want it to be all ready for hosting family after Audrey's dedication. I still haven't decided if I'm going to make dinner for everyone that evening. David is begging me to quit stressing and just order pizza, but I want it to be special for her special day. So, I gotta figure that out quickly. I'll also (hopefully) be making party invitations to get in the mail, in between Bible study homework and class, Ladies' Night Out, and hopefully a workout or two because we've got a 5K next Sunday (yes, the same day as her dedication). Oh yeah, and the whole parenting Audrey thing.

I think what really bothers me about all of this is that I've lost the ability to get things done way in advance. I'm still managing to stay on top of stuff, but I'm just cutting it closer than I'd like to. Pre-Audrey, my grandmother's present would've been bought, wrapped, and placed by the door at least ten days in advance. I would've had the Halloween party invitations finished and ready to be mailed so that they'd arrive exactly one month prior to the party date. Clothes were picked up from the cleaner the day they were ready and I didn't have a record at the county library.

"Well," you say, "welcome to motherhood. Told you so. You just have to learn to let it go." I beg you to swallow the urge. You may roll your eyes or think I'm being ridiculous, but my OCD and pre-planning are a huge part of who I am. My ability to think way ahead is the major reason we haven't run out of diapers (or anything else, for that matter), David and I have been able to have dates out (because I schedule them in advance, line up the grandparents, and stick to it), and our bills are mailed on time. I'm not stupid enough to think I'm never going to drop the ball, but so far, we've been doing very well considering we're new at this parenting thing and aren't operating on full brain capacity or good sleep. I think a large part of that is due to my preparation well in advance. Becoming a parent is a total culture-shift, and yet we still manage to bathe ourselves and form complete sentences (most of the time), while taking on all of the above to-dos.

Just as some people thrive under the pressure of procrastination, I find joy and relief in knowing things are taken care of well in advance. I'm one of those "if you're not ten minutes early, you're late" kind of dorks. It's part of my organized, Type A, I-love-my-label-maker charm. I guess I'll just have to figure out how to back things up even farther to allow more time to get them done. So look out, friends and family, I'm calling to schedule Christmas 2010. Now where did I put the venue idea list for AJ's first birthday party...(you think I'm joking?!)

"So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

Hmmm...does planning count as worrying?! While I worry about that, here is this week's list...

1. A new ladies' Bible study group I just joined. I hesitated to try it at first since it's not at our church, but it's so close to the house and fits great with our schedule. Plus, I must admit there is a bit of freedom and relief that comes from not being known as a former church staff member. Bottom line: I need the spiritual teaching & the adult interaction and they teach from the Word of God. I'm in! Now we'll see if I ever get any of the approx. hour-a-day homework finished...

2. Audrey's cooing. In the last week, she has gotten more vocal and it is the sweetest sound! It's cute to see her try so hard just to form a little "ooo" or "aaa"! It's hard to believe that it won't be long before she'll be talking like crazy...if she takes after her Mama, that is.

3. Long naps. For the past couple of days, Audrey's naps have been shorter and intermittent (growth spurt?!) so it makes me really grateful for the ones that last a long time!

4. Georgia Tech football. So I don't always know what's going on and I probably couldn't name five players on the team, but the start of their season signifies fall and reminds us of David's years down there. In our house, it brings about school pride and tradition and fond memories. Go Jackets!!!

5. My precious husband. It's been awhile since I've expressed my gratitude for all he does for us. The other night he came home after working a long day and kept Audrey while I ran errands for an hour. While I was gone and AJ was napping, he finished his (short) "honey-do" list and even did a couple of things I didn't write down. What a great guy!

Have a great rest of the week!

What a Difference a Year Makes...

This time last year, we were coming back from vacation in Destin with David's parents. We'd just concluded an awesome long weekend of eating, laying out, playing cards, and being total bums. We had frozen custard at Shakes at least three times if I remember correctly. To be fair, we also went jogging, though I don't think it was three times.

So how does all that compare to this year? Well, it took an insane amount of planning, discussion, and careful timing to get us over to David's grandparents' house in Alabama for the day on Saturday. And we may have actually taken more stuff than we packed for Florida last year! Audrey did great on the way over, though she didn't sleep nearly as long as we would have liked. Once we got there, she was a doll and loved being the center of attention. She was held by nearly everyone at least once and didn't complain a bit about the fuss over her (imagine that). She got in a good nap (and a break from being passed around) and then visited a little more before we hit the road. The trip back was not as successful and I'm thankful we didn't hit any major traffic. I had to climb in the back and shush in her ear and hold her pacifier in for most of the hour and a half ride home. She managed, but it does make me nervous about longer road trips. It's funny how as soon as you get more comfortable about taking them out, they become less portable and easy-going.

On Sunday we went to church and then came home and ate lunch. We gave Audrey a bath and did a few chores while she napped. That evening, David grilled out steaks and we ate a delicious dinner in peace, since we'd managed to time Audrey's evening nap just right. She was in bed by 9:30pm and had her third straight night of not waking up until 8:30am! We have gotten some wonderful nights' sleep lately - please pray that it continues.

Today David and I had a wonderful afternoon date while his parents kept Audrey. We started off at Wolf Camera, getting the latest pictures developed (check out the Picasa gallery to view them!) We ate lunch at Fuddrucker's and then went bowling. Even though he hasn't bowled in at least two years, he still creamed me 179 to 82. (Yeah, I'm awesome.) After that, we ran a couple of errands which may or may not have included a stop at Cold Stone Creamery. We really just wanted to get his parents a treat to thank them for babysitting and decided we might as well have a little something too. When we got home, I worked on putting together some picture frames for David's office, did laundry, and sterilized some bottles. The three of us sat on the back patio for a long time, enjoying the weather and each other's company. We are planning on spending the rest of the night being mostly unproductive and loving it.

In closing, here is a little visual aid to further demonstrate the difference 365 days can make. *Sigh.* How I miss you tight abs, quads of steel, and slit of a belly button. Perhaps one day I'll see some semblance of you again, though I seriously doubt you'll ever, ever be the same. Was it worth it? Totally.

Hope you enjoyed your holiday weekend and that your 4-day week is a great one. Remember to check out the photo gallery for updated pictures!

Even When It's Easy, It's Hard

That title can pertain to a lot of things. This post is going to focus on it’s applicability to parenting and breastfeeding, so be forewarned about the latter.

Audrey has, overall, been a relatively easy baby. At least compared to some of the horror stories I’ve heard from family and friends about what they went through with their little ones. Her arrival, though incredibly painful and not at all according to the plan for me, was safe and healthy. And except for having her nights and days switched that first week, she has been a decent sleeper. In fact, she is already down to one feeding per night, with several nights lately of none at all! She has her fussy time in the evenings like most babies do, but we’ve just about mastered a technique that soothes her. She has not been sick yet, thank God, and she seems to be right on track developmentally.

All that being said, I’m going to admit something that most everybody in the world already knows: parenting is hard. And the bigger secret that everyone seems SO eager to tell me: it doesn’t get any easier. You just trade the types of problems.

One such example of people’s over eagerness to tell me about what lies ahead: I was at the mall with Audrey a while back when a stranger that had his 4ish year old with him told me that he and his wife were expecting another one soon. “Really? That’s great! Congrats!” I said, while continuing to push the stroller. He started walking beside me and began to tell me how easy I had it. He proceeded to explain that the real difficulty starts when they can walk and talk. I just smiled politely and started walking faster. With everything in me, I swallowed the urge to shout: “Oh! Well thank you for that lovely bit of encouragement! If I may ask, how much sleep did YOU get last night, how sore are YOUR boobs and nether regions at the moment, and when was the last time YOU had five minutes to yourself to shower or eat in peace?” ….. But I decided that wouldn’t be very Christlike.

ANYWAY, back to the “parenting being hard” thing. It is. And here is another dirty secret: you get very little positive feedback. Your sweet baby can’t say “Thanks Mom! You’re doing a great job!” She can’t yet exhibit any signs that your hard work is paying off, other than physical growth. (And when that goes haywire, it really throws you for a loop, as I mentioned in an earlier post.) Audrey can’t reach up and give me a hug after we finish reviewing the ABC cards or reading a story. She mainly just looks at me with this perplexed expression that seems to say “Who are you again?” I will tell you, though, it’s made a huge difference since she has started to smile. Something about that adorable grin makes a 3 am diaper change much easier to deal with.

If you are pregnant with your first, I don’t mean to scare you. I don’t want to become one of “those people” like the guy in the mall was to me. I hated, and still hate, when people would say “If you think it’s hard now, just wait!” or “Life as you knew it is over!”

95% of the time, I enjoy what I’m doing. That's way better job satisfaction than I've had working anywhere else. But it’s also the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. And I’ve handled some pretty hard things in my life. 2005, for example. But that’s another story.

Breastfeeding is another area that is ridiculously hard even when it’s going well. No one really explained that to me. I was so worried about getting the hang of it and my body cooperating that I didn’t think past that to the level of commitment it requires when it does work. You have someone attached to your body approximately eight times per day for an average of thirty minutes each time. That’s four hours!

For me, it’s actually longer. Except for that short period when I lost my mind and allowed the lactation specialist to talk me into cutting AJ off, our nursing sessions are usually about 45 minutes long. (I have no idea where she gets this, because David and I are crazy fast eaters.) Supposedly the sessions should eventually get shorter – and some are already closer to 25 or 30 minutes – but she doesn’t see a need to consistently speed things up yet.

Regardless, I’ve learned that it’s better not to rush her and more important that she gets a full meal. So, since we’re down to one feeding per night (and, as I said, have had a few nights lately with none at all!), that means we’ve cut back from eight feedings a day to seven. Seven feedings at 45 minutes each means that 5 hours 15 minutes of my day is spent providing nourishment to this baby. Throw in one twenty minute pumping session since I’m trying to build up a little bit of back-up supply for the freezer and you’re over 5 ½ hours. That’s dang close to full-time employment!

And I have a confession. I thought this commitment was “only” for six months. Now I’ve discovered that “THEY” recommend breastfeeding up to your child’s first birthday. I tell you, when I found that out I had to choke back the tears. No lie. That was way longer than I thought. Twice as long, to be exact. Of course, the number of feedings supposedly drops off a little as babies age, but I’m pretty sure the minimum is still 4-5 times in a 24 hour period until they are weaned.

Other than the time commitment, though, and my short-term freak-out about supply, we haven’t had any problems in this area. I know mothers who have gone to amazing lengths to continue breastfeeding – pumping at work, completely changing their diet due to food allergies, exclusively pumping and measuring to ensure adequate supply, even going through excruciating pain and producing bottles of blood before their bodies began making milk correctly. These women are my heroes. I wish I could say I would do the same thing if I was in their shoes, but I’m not totally sure I would. It takes patience, commitment, and endurance even when it’s smooth sailing. When it’s not…well, that just takes sheer determination and an amazingly strong will.

(Side note: None of this is meant to offend mothers who formula-feed. Whether you made the choice willingly or not, I don’t think it says anything about you as a mom. I may even choose to make the switch before it’s all said and done. My only request is that you do us nursing mothers a favor and enjoy the longer leash. Enjoy waking up dry and pain-free. Get crazy and leave the baby with the grandparents for five or six hours one Saturday. I know I could do this too, but it requires a heck of a lot more work and planning on my part!)

So this post probably hasn’t told you anything you don’t already know. As usual, it's just been therapeutic for me to express my struggles to a faceless audience. Please know that we love parenting AJ and I love being able to breastfeed her. Nursing allows us some really sweet bonding moments together. And I must admit that I am so proud to see her little rolls getting bigger and know that it’s because of my hard work.

Audrey is an amazing, beautiful, precious gift from God that we are eternally grateful for and wouldn’t trade for the world. It’s totally worth every bit of sacrifice we’ve had to make. And it may or may not get more difficult as time goes by. I’m sure it’ll have moments of both. So far, it’s definitely gotten easier for us, but then again, we’re only two and a half months into this crazy adventure. We’ve got an awful lot left to experience. But we’ll try to share only the best moments with strangers in the mall.

I close with a voicemail my dear friend Lara Lynn left me a few days ago:

“Hey! It’s me. I don’t know what kind of day you’re having but I just wanted to let you know that motherhood keeps getting sweeter. We were driving home and Emma said ‘Mommy? Know what? I love you!’ That’s the first time she’s ever said that! It just gets better and better…”

Thanks, Lex. I needed to hear that.

Thankful Thursday

I thought for sure I'd have my other post ready to include with today's Thankful Thursday list, but it's not quite ready yet. Maybe I'll have time to finish it this weekend. Until then, allow me to express my gratitude for...

1. Our niece, Annelise, feeling better. The poor baby has had her share of issues these past few weeks, but seems to be doing great now. Pray it continues!

2. A visit from my mom, my sister-in-law Jenny, and my nephew Carson. They came over yesterday and we had a great time hanging out. Mom brought a yummy Mexican casserole for lunch and even made us an entire separate one to have for dinner, which was wonderful. Carson, at almost 17 months, is a force to be reckoned with. All you see is his precious blonde hair blowing in the wind as he runs by! I admire Jenny for the energy she has to have to keep up with him!

3. New tennis shoes. I finally broke in my new kicks this week and they feel great. I don’t know why, but I always wait way too long before buying new tennis shoes. They don’t make me run faster or jump higher, but they sure do look purty.

4. Audrey’s thumb-sucking ability. She can finally find her thumb and keep it in her mouth for long periods, which is adorable. I think it has really helped her sleep better, too, because she is able to “self-soothe.”

5. This weather! We have loved the cooler temperatures this week! We’ve been out walking just about every day and it feels incredible. I am really looking forward to fall…I hope it’s a long one!


Have an awesome Labor Day weekend and enjoy some down time with your family and friends!

"Typical" Day

I don't think I realized how truly precious time is until I became a mother. Like most other
things, you don't learn to appreciate it until you don't have it anymore. Of course there are still 24 hours in my day like there were before. Nowadays, though, I feel like I'm living those 24 hours in short segments. Below is a rundown I promised I'd do of a "typical" day (any mom understands why I used quotes there)!

8:00/8:30 - Audrey wakes up or I wake her up. It took me forever to realize that if you don't start their day at the same time, you’ll never get them on a schedule. I felt really stupid when I read that advice. Duh.

8:30–9:15 - She eats. I talk or read to her. Sometimes I’m simultaneously scarfing down breakfast.

9:15–9:45 – I change and dress her, get myself dressed, eat a quick breakfast if I haven’t already, and drive to the local park. (If we’re meeting someone for lunch that day or skipping our walk, this becomes activity time until she goes down for a nap around 10, and then I get myself showered and dressed.)

9:45–10:30 – I walk and give her fascinating commentary on the surrounding sights and scenes. She typically falls asleep around 10, which I try not to take personally. At that point, I crank up my iPod and try to look as cool as I did when I had six-pack abs and was running those laps, as opposed to nowadays when I’m sweating like a pig, pushing a humongous stroller, and praying I don’t pass out because I can’t remember if I’ve brushed my teeth and I’d hate for someone to have to give me CPR.

10:30–10:40 – We drive home, while I bargain with God for Him to let her stay asleep long enough for me to shower. And shave both legs.

10:40–11:00 – I shower while she sleeps in her carrier in the bathroom. If she wakes up at some point during this process, I start talking and singing quite loudly in an effort to try to keep her calm until I’m finished. I think my record is the “ABC” song nine times in a row, with much effort taken to enunciate L, M, N, O, & P so as not to send her to preschool thinking LMNOP is one long letter. Yes, I really do think about such things.

11:00–11:30 – This time period is a total gamble. If she stays asleep, I can fix my hair, put on make-up, and finish getting ready. If she decides it’s time to eat, that gets put on hold and I feed her.

11:30–12:00 – She eats. I talk, put on make-up, read to her, or channel surf - only stopping on the really educational stuff, of course. :)

12:00–1:00 – “Activity time." This can include many things. Play mat time, reading, singing, dancing, bath time, diaper changes, clothing changes, flashcard drills (at this point, that means me holding up the flashcards while she drools on them.) One of my favorites is folding laundry and making funny faces with her while reviewing colors or trying to explain the concept of pairs. I can’t quite figure out how to clarify that some things that are pairs have two parts (i.e. socks) and some things that are referred to as pairs only have one part (i.e. a pair of pants, a pair of underwear, etc.) Anyway…

1:00-2:30 - She naps. I finish getting myself together if I haven’t already and eat lunch. Then I do some combination of washing/sterilizing bottles, straightening up, checking emails, blogging, doing my ab work-out, washing clothes, paying bills, organizing something, putting photos in albums, etc. etc. etc.

2:30-3:15 – She wakes up and eats.

3:15–4:30 – More “activity time” or we go run errands.

4:30–5:30 – She naps. I do more of the previously mentioned tasks and/or start dinner.

5:30–6:00 – She eats. David usually gets home during this window and we catch each other up about our days. More often than not, he usually has to finish fixing the mess of a dinner I started. I try really hard not to give him a play-by-play of the number and color of diapers I changed. Usually, if nothing else, I can fill him in on Facebook gossip.

6:00–6:30 – David gets in his Audrey fix, which usually involves the play mat or working on her standing.

6:30–7:15 – If we’re lucky, she sleeps while we chow down.

7:15–8:00 - She wakes up and eats.

8:00–8:30 – We do our nightly ritual of bedtime stories and prayers. I love this family time together. It's so sweet!

8:30–9:15 – She catnaps on one of our shoulders while the other of us picks up or does laundry. Or we both just sit in front of the TV like bums. We’ve tried to lay her down during this time, but she’ll have none of it. I suspect that eventually she’ll start going to bed around 8:30, but she doesn’t seem to want to give up that 9:15ish feeding quite yet.

9:15–9:45 - I feed her and then put her to bed.

9:45–10:15 – I try to avoid doing anything else productive and just enjoy a few moments alone with David. Then we go to bed and usually have very little trouble falling asleep.

Sometime between 3am and 6am - She awakes to eat. I feed her, put her back down, and go back to sleep. Some nights this is easier than others!

I might as well have put "ish" after each time frame. It's 5:00pm now and she is in there stirring - clearly she doesn't have a watch. I just wanted to record what a day in our life looks like for now so I can fondly reminisce down the road...in between all the naps I'll be taking once she starts school.