Holiday Entertaining

A few years ago, a local magazine that David's cousins own asked me a few questions for their piece about holiday entertaining. As the season approaches, I thought it might be helpful to post my responses on here to give you a few tips as you start planning your parties.

What’s the most important thing to keep in mind when planning a party?

The most important things to keep in mind when planning a party are that it doesn’t have to be perfect…and that a little planning and organization goes a long way! When it comes to entertaining, especially during the holidays, people often stress themselves out unnecessarily. For example, every inch of your home does not need to be military-inspection ready! Spend your energy on the important areas – the kitchen, the main room, and the bathrooms – and quit worrying about whether the guestroom closet is clean. To help yourself stay organized, do a complete walk-through in your mind of the entire event, from where to hang coats when guests arrive to having coffee ready to serve with dessert. From there, make checklists and shopping lists and choose a few small extra details to focus on, like special invitations or cute favors, but don’t feel the pressure that everything has to be flawless.

Remember that it all comes down to whether your guests feel comfortable and have a good time in your home. Some of the best parties I’ve been to started with an Evite and included pizza.

If attending a party at someone else’s house, should you take a hostess gift?

It really depends on the event as to whether a hostess gift is appropriate. If it is a casual gathering among close friends, a present is not necessary, especially if you are providing a dish or dessert. If, however, it’s a more formal dinner party or an overnight stay, bringing a gift is fitting. If you are unsure, always err on the side of formality and take something – even if it is totally unexpected, a gift is a good surprise!

It’s important to remember a few things when making your hostess gift selection: Flowers are a nice gesture, but usually just create a hassle for the hostess who has to scramble around to find a vase. Foods such as cheese or candies are usually a safe choice, but make certain the hostess knows they are not expected to be served at the party by saying something like, “this is for you to enjoy later.” CDs and candles are also good ideas, but try to add a personal touch to your present if you can – a monogrammed apron for the cook, a Blockbuster gift card tied to a bag of popcorn for the movie lover, or a personalized tree ornament or picture frame.

How do you recover when things don’t go as planned?

Things never go as planned! Somewhere along the way, big or small, something will happen that you did not anticipate. The key is to preplan as much as possible ahead of time to avoid those surprises (plenty of simple hors devours in case dinner is running late, extra plates and chairs for unexpected guests, a basket of toys or a movie for children that show up at an adult-only party.)

If something still catches you off guard despite your best efforts, keep your cool. One of the quickest ways to ruin a party is for the hostess to let her guests see her get stressed. If dinner is burned, laugh it off and order take-out. If something breaks or someone spills something, be gracious about it and move on. The more relaxed you stay, the more comfortable your guests feel.

What are your biggest etiquette tips when planning a holiday gathering?

To me, consideration is more important than following etiquette. That’s not to say that etiquette and good manners don’t have their place, but they certainly should not be higher priority than making a guest feel welcome. Think about whom you’ve invited and what small things you can do to make them more comfortable.

Remember that people are a lot more forgiving with etiquette mishaps if they feel like your heart is in the right place.

Other tips for Holiday Parties:

• Because the holiday season is so busy for most people, get your date on their calendars early by sending out invitations six weeks in advance. Make sure that you mention the attire if applicable.
  

• If you are concerned about people being too busy, but still want to host a holiday party, consider doing something different like a Saturday brunch or a Sunday afternoon open-house.

• When deciding on the menu, be sure to have a couple of healthy choices for those trying to stick to their diets during the holidays.

• Be ready early. Given the choice between perfecting the food layout and drying your hair, choose the latter. You can always add finishing touches once people begin arriving, but there is nothing worse than being in a hurried panic and making your guests feel awkward.

• Consider keeping your pets locked up during the party in case some guests are allergic or may not be animal lovers.

Enjoy the party!