If there is one thing I've learned about having a baby, it's that it makes you an automatic target for unsolicited advice. "Have you tried this?" or "Don't do that!" or "Be careful about..." or "You know you should/shouldn't..."
Two examples of late are the lady in Quizno's instructing David on how to hold Audrey and the checkout lady at Publix scolding me because it was too cold for Audrey not to have a blanket. She withdrew her statement after she leaned over and felt my child's skin. (I had to take a few deep breaths to avoid feeling the skin on her face with the back of my hand.)
Yes, everybody has some words of wisdom to offer. Of course, I'm not going to pretend to know everything about babies. We have so much to learn and people really do mean well. So, in the midst of all the "blah, blah, blah" and "yada, yada, yada", I've actually forced myself to hear some of it. There have been a few precious pearls that I felt were worthy of passing on. But please, don't let this encourage you too much.
1. Put your own oxygen mask on first. I'm slowly realizing that if I don't take care of myself, I can't take care of anyone else. This does not have to mean grand acts, but just simple things that ensure I have something left in me to give. What works as "oxygen" varies from day to day. Sometimes it's simply grabbing a nutrigrain bar or emptying my bladdar before feeding Audrey, even if she is screaming her head off. Other times it's a little more substantial and fun for me, like leaving her with David for an hour while I go get a pedicure. Of course, these days, it's a lot more of the nutrigrain bar-type oxygen.
2. Start as you mean to go on. I read this in one of my parenting books, and have repeated it over and over again to myself...mostly at the end of the day when staying consistant is the hardest. It refers to the importance of avoiding bad habits and establishing good patterns early on. In an effort to avoiding offending anyone, I'll use an outlandish example: If you dress in a monkey suit, stand on your head, and sing nursery rhymes while twirling your child in the air in order to put her to sleep, you had better be prepared to do that every night for quite some time. Of course, if you do find yourself following that particular nighttime ritual, I think you may have bigger problems on your hairy monkey hands.
3. Every baby is different. This is most often heard from other mommies in order for us to let each other off the hook. It is also a great response to use on people who insist their advice is gospel truth. But the fact is, every baby is different! Just because something worked miracles for your friend, your mom, or your neighbor, that does not mean it will work for you!
4. Infants do better with schedules. Well, shoot! I didn't have to hear this one twice! I've read this in several books, heard it from multiple mommy friends, and had it reiterated at both of our doctors visits. I cite these sources because anyone who knows me knows that I myself am a schedule-lover. So, lest you think I'm just making junk up, I assure you we've heard it several times from reputable people.
Now, before you think I'm insanely blessed to have my one month old on a schedule, let me clarify. I feed her on a schedule during the day, but she dictates when she eats at night. Her sleep schedule, both day and night, is completely erratic except for wake-up time and final bedtime of the day. We try to keep her awake for a little while after each daytime feeding so she doesn't associate food with sleep and require nursing to go to bed, but sometimes that is impossible when she is in a milk coma.
She naps at various times for various lengths, but I don't let her go longer than three hours between feedings during the day. (And remember, feedings are timed from the start of one to the start of the next. So if she eats at 11:30am, she is due again at 2:30pm, even if she didn't finish eating until 12:00pm.) Sometimes I have to wake her, sometimes I don't because she wakes herself up.
*Warning* For those of you tempted to give me the old "Don't wake a sleeping baby" advice, I'm going to ward you off with these words: engorgement and milk supply. Besides, "every baby is different", right? She is right on track with gaining weight, so we must be doing something correctly!So, basically, we're not really on a true schedule yet. But, we're getting there!
And that completes my list to date. Compared to the advice we've gotten, it's amazing that there are only four things on there. That says something about people's advice, I guess. :)
And here is my Thankful Thursday list...
1. A good doctor's check-up this week! Audrey now weighs 9 lbs 12 oz and is 21 3/4 inches long. That means she has gained 1 lb 6 oz and grown 2 inches since birth! Everything else looked wonderful and they said she was perfect. Tell me something I don't know.
2. My sweet friend Holly, who is a pediatric nurse practitioner. Despite the #1 item on this list and the fact that our child has not so much as spiked a fever yet, I have already called on Holly's expertise twice and I expect I will do so many, many more times in AJ's life. That is, if Holly will keep taking my calls/emails! You're awesome, Holly, and I appreciate you so much!!!
3. Facebook. Without it, I would be totally in the dark about what is going on with my friends since I can't seem to return a phone call these days! And, as an addition to this item, sweet friends who read between the lines on status updates and call immediately to check on me. Thanks, Lex.
4. Oxyclean Baby. The stuff is amazing for getting out what the diaper didn't hold in.
5. Lunches with David. Once a week, I try to take Audrey and meet up with my baby's daddy for lunch. It's a nice break in the day for us and it helps him to get a "fix" of his girls.
So, there you have it. I hope you've got plenty to be thankful for this Thursday! Enjoy the rest of your week!
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