Nursing Must-Haves

*Warning: In case the title didn't give it away, this post does contain information about breastfeeding. I would recommend that you stop here unless you are a soon-to-be or new mom!*

I am amazed and shamelessly proud of myself that I have breastfed Audrey for almost eight months. For most of that time, I was her sole source of nutrition and, even though we've started solids, I am still her main provider of calories and will be for several more months. (Don't worry, I'm not going to become a news story, though. The AAP recommends breastfeeding for one year and then "as long as mother and baby would like after that." I plan to comply with the one year.)

In case you are a new reader or have forgotten, let me remind you that this road has not been without its bumps. Okay, that's a bit of an understatement. Let me reword that: It's one of the most difficult things I've ever done in my life. Ever. For me, it requires more sacrifice and commitment than the entire nine months of pregnancy did. And I'm not even a working mom who has to pump!

Now I'm no expert, but I have come across a few great products and tips that I'd like to pass on. Along with a lot of prayer and a little silent cursing, this stuff has helped me tremendously:

1. Take a class. I'm so thankful we did. (Yes, I dragged David along and I highly recommend it for your husband too. He needs to learn and understand so he can be supportive!) Most hospitals offer a one hour course at a reasonable price or you can check with your local Babies R Us. Even if you already know it all and don't learn a thing, you will at the very least become more comfortable with the concept.

2. Invest in a good pump. They are expensive, but worth every penny. Even if you aren't going to go back to work, you will at some point want to leave your baby for longer than 3 hours or have a need to pump and store milk for mixing cereal, sippy cups, etc. I use my Medela Pump n' Style daily and have been very pleased with it.

3. Have a plan for cleaning all those pump parts! I use the Medela Quick Clean Bags. They're a lot easier and faster than the big sterilizers. Each bag can be used up to 20 times, so they're more cost-effective than they first appear. They are also good for bottles and pacifiers.

4. Buy a good nursing pillow. I have a My Brest Friend and love it. I take it everywhere and rarely nurse without it. It offers more support than a Boppy. In fact, I used to be able to stand while nursing if I tightened it enough (she weighs too much now), which allowed me to do some serious multi-tasking. In addition to that, you may also want to...

5. Find a good nursing wrap. My favorites are Udder Covers. Every once in awhile they'll run a special where you get the wrap for free and just pay shipping (approx. $8.) Whatever brand or style you choose, it's a great thing for nursing in public, at a friend's house, or even in the back seat of your (parked) car.

6. Have the number of a lactation specialist to call on. Most hospitals and/or pediatrician's offices offer this service for free. I have phoned mine several times over the past few months for everything from finding out what cold medicines were safe for me to take to tips on starting solids. Just remember to be careful taking any advice about overfeeding or underfeeding. Unless she sees you nursing, knows your baby, and tracks her weight, that's a hard thing to diagnose over the phone.

7. Consider keeping Fenugreek handy. I think I've mentioned this stuff before, but it's worth repeating. Fenugreek is an herb that helps stimulate and increase milk production. If you have good reason to believe your supply is low (you should check with a lactation specialist first), it's a great home remedy. Most drugstore chains don't carry it, so try GNC or Vitamin Shoppe. Be forewarned that your sweat and urine will smell like maple syrup. But, there are worse things to smell like in the world!

8. Buy some nipple cream (before the baby comes...and pack it in your hospital bag!) My personal favorite is Earth Mama Angel Baby nipple butter. It's organic and all natural. Trust me, you will need it (and a stick to bite down on) for the first few weeks.

9. Build up a resource library of books and websites you can pull from when you have questions. Kellymom.com is one website I use a lot and I know my lactation specialist uses it too so that gave it some validity in my mind. I also borrowed my sister-in-law's The Ultimate Book of Breastfeeding Answers. I don't know if it was the ultimate, but it was indeed thorough.

10. Purchase some milk storage bags. It's hard to imagine having excess milk in the beginning, but you may eventually need to freeze some so that it keeps longer. I use Lansinoh brand, which are supposedly the thickest on the market and therefore protect better against freezer burn.

11. Get fitted for a couple of nursing bras. The good ones are expensive, but it's so important to have something that is really high quality and durable. Considering what you're putting those girls through, the least you can do is treat them to a little support.

12. Don't be afraid to reach out to other nursing moms. There will be times that you think you must be the only one in the world having a particular problem. There will be times when you loathe breastfeeding while simultaneously thinking that giving it up will cause your heart to shatter. All of this is normal and it helps to talk to other women who have been through it. They can listen, offer advice, and remind you of things you already know. As I recently read somewhere, there is no limit to how much information two women - even strangers - will share with each other if they are both lactating. Strange, but true.

Above all, remember that you're doing an amazing thing! Whatever time you can stick with it is wonderful and will benefit both you and your baby. Hang in there and happy nursing!

Six Months

Yesterday was Audrey's six month birthday. If only someone would've told me how fast it goes by! ;) Sarcasm aside, it really is hard to believe how much she has grown and changed over the past six months. As I watched her sitting up in the floor grabbing toys from her Daddy, it was hard to believe how far we've come. Every day has been an adventure. Some good, some bad, but hardly a one of them dull.

Overall, I'd say things have been getting easier as time goes on. One of the biggest differences is that I find that I'm worrying less about her physical health (maybe because her fat rolls
speak for themselves). However, I am still just as conscious as ever about her overall well being. I drift off to sleep recounting the day's events and wondering if I did the best I could. Did I pray "with" her and for her? What did I do with her today that was educational? What did I do with her today that was fun and silly? Did I treat her with kindness? Did I treat myself and others with kindness in front of her? Did she see me scowling about my to-do list or did she notice me smiling as I went about the day's chores? Did I show love and respect to her Daddy? Was I patient? More often than not, I fail in some way or another. But, more often than not, I'm learning to focus on what I did do right and pray that God's grace will fill in the gaps where I fall short.

Most of the other lessons I've learned so far I've already written about in previous posts (Having momfidence in yourself, avoiding comparison parenting, and other random stuff) but there were a couple that I don't think I've shared yet that I wanted to pass along:

1. Let your husband do it his way. This really hasn't been as hard for me as I thought it would be. Maybe it's because by the end of the day, I don't have the energy to interfere. Perhaps because I've had a taste of going it alone during his business trips, I'm just so grateful for the help I don't want to discourage it! Whatever the reason, I've learned to step aside and let David handle Audrey without me hovering and instructing. It doesn't matter if I think I know a more efficient or productive way. That's not nearly as important as letting him get to know her and sharpening his skills as a Dad. As long as it's not a safety or health issue, I try to butt out. Besides, it teaches Audrey to experience things differently and be flexible.

2. Do what's best for your core family. This means conquering the fear of making others angry or disappointed. They'll get over it...or not. Sometimes they'll understand, sometimes they won't. Either way, we have a Little One to look after now. Sure, there are times when schedules need to be put aside and we stretch Audrey to her limits to accommodate others. But there are also times when we know what she can handle or certain things are important to us and we put our foot (feet?) down.

3. Stretch yourself...and the baby! I think that having a schedule and sticking to it is really important for Audrey. It gives her a solid routine and something to depend on, which I think she finds comforting and thrives under. However, I've discovered it's sometimes equally important to throw the routine and rules out the window for the sake of new experiences. In the past six months we've done this multiple times: Doing a 5K, attending a new Bible Study at a different church where I don't know every nursery worker, and taking a road trip to Savannah. Each has turned out better than expected, and we've made memories, gained confidence, and exposed AJ to exciting new things in the process.

I can only imagine how much more we will learn over the next few months and years. My prayer is that my mind and heart will remain open and teachable, and in the process, that God will mold me into a better person and mother.

Happy Birthday, AJ. We love you!

First Comes Love...

In my doctor's office hangs a poster that reads "Everything I Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten." It lists fundamental life lessons such as sharing, cleaning up your own mess, and the importance of naps. It's a cute and insightful collection, but I think it's missing one of the most important things we need to remember - a commonly known rhyme that was often sung on the playground: "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage."

Notice the order: Love, Marriage, Baby.

I think it's worth pointing out that it lists love and marriage separately. Do you remember that feeling you had when you first fell in love? How new and exciting everything was? How you couldn't wait until the next time you talked to him or saw her? How electric the first kiss felt? Everything was fresh and wonderful and fun.

Then comes marriage. Now don't get me wrong or get any rumors started! I have a wonderful marriage and am so very blessed. BUT, sometimes marriage means a mortgage and trash night and laundry. It becomes bogged down with discussions centered around finances and children. You completely forget about that rush you used to feel and instead try to refrain from "accidentally" kicking him when you crawl back in bed after a 3am feeding and he is snoring. Or maybe that's just me. At any rate, it's SO important to remember the love that came first.

So, first love. Then marriage. Then baby. Does this mean Audrey is stuck with leftovers? That she gets less because we try to focus on each other first? No, I believe just the opposite. Sure, she is little and depends on us for everything whereas David and I can fend for ourselves. But, the very best thing we can do for her is to put each other first. If we make sure to prioritize our marriage, it goes a long way in helping to create a loving, peaceful home for her to grow up in.

But how on earth do we do it? With my minimal experience, I'm definitely not the right one to ask. We're so new at this and I know it's going to reach a whole new level of difficulty once sports practices, music lessons, and Room Mom responsibilities are involved. (Not to mention...gulp...if we have another child. But it's still waaay too early to discuss that.) So, I did a little research and reading on the topic. Below I've picked the suggestions I liked the best and coupled them with some of our own tips:

• Pray for each other. I try to take moments throughout the day to lift David up in prayer. Taking the time to do so reminds me that he is out there working hard to provide for us. His job may not be as glamorous as changing diapers (wink, wink), but it's stressful and he needs God's help to make it through.
  

• Date. Try to go out alone together once a week. This frequency is difficult even for us to do, and we have family all around to help out. I can only imagine how hard it is if you live far away from loved ones or trusted babysitters. At the very least, aim for once per month. Put it on the calendar so you'll be more likely to make it happen. If you can't leave the house, try to set up dinner or dessert together after the little ones are in bed. And for pete's sake, try not to talk about the kids...much. Yes, sometimes it's a pain to coordinate feedings/naps, but we're always glad we took the break.
  

• Greet each other first. When David comes home from work, it would be easy for him to immediately scoop up Audrey and immerse himself in her adorableness. But instead, he says hello to me first. He takes just a moment to kiss me, ask me about my day, and make me feel noticed. Then, of course, he's all about smothering her with attention.

• Keep the lines of communication open. We are so guilty of putting Audrey to bed and then vegging out in front of the television. We turn out the lights soon after, exhausted, and I realize I didn't ask him about his important meeting or tell him about my phone conversation with so-and-so. Even if it means the shows stay on our DVR a little longer, it's worth taking ten minutes to have a face-to-face discussion about what's going on in our lives.

• Hug, kiss, and hold hands in front of the kids. We want AJ to grow up seeing our affection for each other, even when she gets to be a teenager and pretends it grosses her out.
  

• Get on the same page as parents. Being that I have one five month old, my experience with this is next to nothing so far. Still, I try to run whatever few decisions we need to make by David, even if I know he's going to default to me about most things at this stage. I think it gets us used to talking about stuff and reaching conclusions together before we implement a plan.
  

• Keep pictures of just the two of you around the house. Since AJ is so much cuter than we are, I was tempted to take down all the pictures of David and I and put her cute baby self up everywhere. Of course I replaced quite a few, but I still want her to grow up seeing that Mommy and Daddy were Husband and Wife first who had exciting adventures together. As the comedian Sinbad said "Your parents used to be cool. Then they had you!" She needs to see photographic evidence that we did have lives before she came along!

• Remember the kids will (hopefully) move out eventually. When you're up to your elbows in...ah-hem...poop and you're nursing seven times a day, it feels like you're never going to be finished with this stage of life. But, from what everyone tells me, it goes by so fast. One day the kids will be grown and gone and it will just be you and your spouse left. Therefore, it's really important to do all that you can to ensure that you still know and like that person.

• Spend time in God's Word. I confess, I'm horrible at this right now. But, I know from experience that the better my relationship is with God, the better it is with David.
  

• Laugh together. Have a sense of humor. Don't take it all so seriously. One of greatest things about parenting so far has been all of the hilarious inside jokes David and I have accumulated. We have laughed until we cried (probably because of the exhaustion) over the past few months and it's amazing how close that makes us feel to each other. Not to mention the stress it relieves!
  

I want to reiterate that I'm no expert. I cannot tell you how many times I've already screwed this up. Unfortunately, I know it's going to be an ongoing battle. I think a big key is to be aware of where your marriage stands on your list of priorities and whether that is where it needs to be. I happen to know a little rhyme that can help you with that... :)

Please feel free to comment or email me with things you do to try to keep your marriage first. Especially those of you who have a little more experience to offer!

Thankful Thursday...And a Little Advice

One of these days I'm going to have the time to quit combining "Thankful Thursday" posts with other rants. In the meantime...

If there is one thing I've learned about having a baby, it's that it makes you an automatic target for unsolicited advice. "Have you tried this?" or "Don't do that!" or "Be careful about..." or "You know you should/shouldn't..."

Two examples of late are the lady in Quizno's instructing David on how to hold Audrey and the checkout lady at Publix scolding me because it was too cold for Audrey not to have a blanket. She withdrew her statement after she leaned over and felt my child's skin. (I had to take a few deep breaths to avoid feeling the skin on her face with the back of my hand.)

Yes, everybody has some words of wisdom to offer. Of course, I'm not going to pretend to know everything about babies. We have so much to learn and people really do mean well. So, in the midst of all the "blah, blah, blah" and "yada, yada, yada", I've actually forced myself to hear some of it. There have been a few precious pearls that I felt were worthy of passing on. But please, don't let this encourage you too much.

1. Put your own oxygen mask on first. I'm slowly realizing that if I don't take care of myself, I can't take care of anyone else. This does not have to mean grand acts, but just simple things that ensure I have something left in me to give. What works as "oxygen" varies from day to day. Sometimes it's simply grabbing a nutrigrain bar or emptying my bladdar before feeding Audrey, even if she is screaming her head off. Other times it's a little more substantial and fun for me, like leaving her with David for an hour while I go get a pedicure. Of course, these days, it's a lot more of the nutrigrain bar-type oxygen.

2. Start as you mean to go on. I read this in one of my parenting books, and have repeated it over and over again to myself...mostly at the end of the day when staying consistant is the hardest. It refers to the importance of avoiding bad habits and establishing good patterns early on. In an effort to avoiding offending anyone, I'll use an outlandish example: If you dress in a monkey suit, stand on your head, and sing nursery rhymes while twirling your child in the air in order to put her to sleep, you had better be prepared to do that every night for quite some time. Of course, if you do find yourself following that particular nighttime ritual, I think you may have bigger problems on your hairy monkey hands.

3. Every baby is different. This is most often heard from other mommies in order for us to let each other off the hook. It is also a great response to use on people who insist their advice is gospel truth. But the fact is, every baby is different! Just because something worked miracles for your friend, your mom, or your neighbor, that does not mean it will work for you!

4. Infants do better with schedules. Well, shoot! I didn't have to hear this one twice! I've read this in several books, heard it from multiple mommy friends, and had it reiterated at both of our doctors visits. I cite these sources because anyone who knows me knows that I myself am a schedule-lover. So, lest you think I'm just making junk up, I assure you we've heard it several times from reputable people.

Now, before you think I'm insanely blessed to have my one month old on a schedule, let me clarify. I feed her on a schedule during the day, but she dictates when she eats at night. Her sleep schedule, both day and night, is completely erratic except for wake-up time and final bedtime of the day. We try to keep her awake for a little while after each daytime feeding so she doesn't associate food with sleep and require nursing to go to bed, but sometimes that is impossible when she is in a milk coma.

She naps at various times for various lengths, but I don't let her go longer than three hours between feedings during the day. (And remember, feedings are timed from the start of one to the start of the next. So if she eats at 11:30am, she is due again at 2:30pm, even if she didn't finish eating until 12:00pm.) Sometimes I have to wake her, sometimes I don't because she wakes herself up.

*Warning* For those of you tempted to give me the old "Don't wake a sleeping baby" advice, I'm going to ward you off with these words: engorgement and milk supply. Besides, "every baby is different", right? She is right on track with gaining weight, so we must be doing something correctly!

So, basically, we're not really on a true schedule yet. But, we're getting there!

And that completes my list to date. Compared to the advice we've gotten, it's amazing that there are only four things on there. That says something about people's advice, I guess. :)

And here is my Thankful Thursday list...

1. A good doctor's check-up this week! Audrey now weighs 9 lbs 12 oz and is 21 3/4 inches long. That means she has gained 1 lb 6 oz and grown 2 inches since birth! Everything else looked wonderful and they said she was perfect. Tell me something I don't know.

2. My sweet friend Holly, who is a pediatric nurse practitioner. Despite the #1 item on this list and the fact that our child has not so much as spiked a fever yet, I have already called on Holly's expertise twice and I expect I will do so many, many more times in AJ's life. That is, if Holly will keep taking my calls/emails! You're awesome, Holly, and I appreciate you so much!!!

3. Facebook. Without it, I would be totally in the dark about what is going on with my friends since I can't seem to return a phone call these days! And, as an addition to this item, sweet friends who read between the lines on status updates and call immediately to check on me. Thanks, Lex.

4. Oxyclean Baby. The stuff is amazing for getting out what the diaper didn't hold in.

5. Lunches with David. Once a week, I try to take Audrey and meet up with my baby's daddy for lunch. It's a nice break in the day for us and it helps him to get a "fix" of his girls.

So, there you have it. I hope you've got plenty to be thankful for this Thursday! Enjoy the rest of your week!